The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

July 24th, 2018 by Cobwebs

ME: Since their transformation is lunar phase dependent a more accurate name would be “when-wolf.”
ARBY’S CASHIER: Again, sir, we closed an hour ago.
AndrewNadeau0

Here’s the question I always have with universal translators in sci-fi: how do they know when to stop translation?
Like say an alien asks about deserts on earth, and the human lists “the sahara desert, gobi desert and kalahari desert”
Alien: You just said “desert” six times.
Foone

“Dad, there’s a monster under my bed!”
“Yes, the bed they used to live under has been razed.”
“But it’s a monster!”
“Maybe, but we are not.”
MicroSFF

Overheard in the French Quarter: “My big fear with becoming a zombie is all the walking.”
Nalo_Hopkinson

Every badger in a waistcoat implies a whole infrastructure of badger tailors and store owners.
benwurgaft

Me: *covers foot with blanket*
Monster 1: *about to grab my foot anyway*
Monster 2: *quickly pulling him back* NO. we have to respect the blanket Franklin
AbbieEvansXO

Every time we read Peter Pan at bed time, I can’t help but do the math on all the money the parents are saving with that dog nannying all three kids
JewelStaite

the best response when someone makes fun of you for reading fiction is to invite them down into your ancient cellar for a glass of wine. they will never suspect what’s coming.
SketchesbyBoze

Thinking about how in Harry Potter there was an evil shop full of death magic on evil street and everyone was just fine with this being a place of business. Wizards are stupid as shit.
gapingmaws

I like how once you get to the Monster’s part of FRANKENSTEIN it’s the Monster being quoted by Victor being quoted by the sea captain and you’re still supposed to believe the sea captain remembered all this and is transcribing it verbatim to his sister

Did the sister not have questions about why her brother wrote a “letter” to her that’s literally novel length

How much was the postage to mail that from the Arctic

arthur_affect

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

Days of Wine and Link Dumps

July 20th, 2018 by Cobwebs

Infernal Creatures – Kickstarter for a book of rare vintage occult artwork. (Hat tip to Kitten Herder)

Robot Plant Stand – I want one of these as a pet. The spidery way it moves around is adorable.

Bats in the Night Sky – Knitting pattern for a super-adorable beanie. (via Spooky Moon)

Animals That Look Like Wizards – This thread is spectacular.

Spiderweb Farm – Sells plaques featuring real preserved spiderwebs. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

United Snakes of America – Fun poster of all species of snakes native to the U.S. and Canada.

The Alternative Limb Project – Prosthesis designers who offer unusual artificial limbs. The snake arm is especially interesting.

Animal Adventures: Tales of Dungeons and Doggies – Kickstarter for a set of D&D miniatures featuring dogs as all of the character classes.

Celestarium – Striking shawl pattern based on a real star chart.

Sugar Spooks – Site which showcases the Halloween-themed work of various sugar artists. Some gorgeous, intricate stuff. (via Spooky Moon)

Posted in Link Dump | 2 Comments »

How Does Your Link Dump Grow?

July 13th, 2018 by Cobwebs

Dance of the Vampires – This is a famous German musical which was never released in English. YouTube user Count Monsparkle has kindly provided a translation. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Sam Sykes/Chuck Wendig, Again – Yet another amusing Twitter conversation, this one beginning, “@ChuckWendig so, you meet a girl and things are going nice and she turns out to worship the Great Old Ones. …dealbreaker?”

Save My Ink – This company will preserve a deceased loved one’s tattoos and tastefully frame the patch of skin for you.

Animatronic Raven DIY Kit – Mr. Chicken’s Prop Shop offers a really nice kit for building a servo-powered raven. They offer a lot of other neat goodies, too. (Hat tip to xJane)

Taxidermy Stuffed Animal Heads – Yes, yes, all taxidermy animals are technically stuffed, smartass. These are the plushy kind of stuffed.

Memento Mori DIY Clock Refurbish – Tutorial for a good-looking clock makeover. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Mending Moth Holes with Moths – These DIY moth patches are supposed to go over holes, but they’re pretty enough to use just for the sake of decoration. Death’s Head moths would be particularly attractive.

Spiders Can Fly Hundreds of Miles Using Electricity – What’s cooler than flying spiders? Electric flying spiders. (Hat tip to pdq)

They Fight Crime! – Amusing random generator. “He’s a fiendish day-dreaming vampire hunter who dotes on his loving old ma. She’s a psychotic winged mechanic who hides her beauty behind a pair of thick-framed spectacles. They fight crime!”

Posted in Link Dump | 6 Comments »