The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

July 24th, 2018 by Cobwebs

ME: Since their transformation is lunar phase dependent a more accurate name would be “when-wolf.”
ARBY’S CASHIER: Again, sir, we closed an hour ago.
AndrewNadeau0

Here’s the question I always have with universal translators in sci-fi: how do they know when to stop translation?
Like say an alien asks about deserts on earth, and the human lists “the sahara desert, gobi desert and kalahari desert”
Alien: You just said “desert” six times.
Foone

“Dad, there’s a monster under my bed!”
“Yes, the bed they used to live under has been razed.”
“But it’s a monster!”
“Maybe, but we are not.”
MicroSFF

Overheard in the French Quarter: “My big fear with becoming a zombie is all the walking.”
Nalo_Hopkinson

Every badger in a waistcoat implies a whole infrastructure of badger tailors and store owners.
benwurgaft

Me: *covers foot with blanket*
Monster 1: *about to grab my foot anyway*
Monster 2: *quickly pulling him back* NO. we have to respect the blanket Franklin
AbbieEvansXO

Every time we read Peter Pan at bed time, I can’t help but do the math on all the money the parents are saving with that dog nannying all three kids
JewelStaite

the best response when someone makes fun of you for reading fiction is to invite them down into your ancient cellar for a glass of wine. they will never suspect what’s coming.
SketchesbyBoze

Thinking about how in Harry Potter there was an evil shop full of death magic on evil street and everyone was just fine with this being a place of business. Wizards are stupid as shit.
gapingmaws

I like how once you get to the Monster’s part of FRANKENSTEIN it’s the Monster being quoted by Victor being quoted by the sea captain and you’re still supposed to believe the sea captain remembered all this and is transcribing it verbatim to his sister

Did the sister not have questions about why her brother wrote a “letter” to her that’s literally novel length

How much was the postage to mail that from the Arctic

arthur_affect

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

One Response

  1. Devries Says:

    Ever read the short story Usher
    II from the book Illastrated Man? Trading fiction was made illegal, books were burned and an ex-fiction author decided on getting revenge on government officers by do ing exactly that

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