This little jumping spider doesn’t realize he’s just looking at his reflection, so he acts all tough to chase away the “interloper.” Makes me want to carry a hand mirror just in case I encounter a spider.
What’s the big deal with the Dog Whisperer? My dog whispers all the time! “Kill for me,” he rasps.
You know that pickup line where guys ask if it hurt girls when they fell from heaven? The devil is a fallen angel too. Just sayin’.
Bedbugs wouldn’t scare me so much if I could buy tiny hats for them on Etsy.
Accuse someone of denying everything. It’s a hard one to fight.
If the car behind me honks while waiting for my parking space at the mall, I turn off my car and visibly start a rubik’s cube.
I actually had my husband film the birth of my third child because if I meet David Blaine one day, I want him to know he can never top that.
If you love something, set it free. If it mauls you as soon as it’s released, stop loving crazy shit.
Beware a wolf in sheep’s clothing? I say beware wolves in ANY clothing because if they can learn bespoke tailoring, our time has come.
You know what would suck? If you died and were turned into a vampire and then you got haunted by the ghost of yourself who was pissed off at you for getting yourself killed and she was always there for eternity, laughing at you whenever you fucked something up, or screaming really loud so you’d drop the milk jug, or waiting until you were masturbating and then popping in and be all “WHATCHA DOIN’?” That would totally suck.
— The Bloggess
Somewhere in the world, there’s a woman named Flo who’s self-conscious about visiting her nieces and nephews.
Folks seemed to enjoy the trivia posts I did on Saturdays in November, so I’m making them an occasional feature. As usual, there are no prizes, but if you can answer them all without googling you get bragging rights.
Morticia Addams owned a man-eating plant that she fed raw hamburger on a daily basis. What was the plant’s name?
This vampiric Greek demon was once a Libyan queen who had an affair with Zeus. After Hera killed her children, her grief led her to begin killing and devouring other children.
In Jewish folklore, this is an anthropomorphic being created from inanimate matter (often mud) which is given life by supernatural means.
What was the title of the very first werewolf movie?
Rats and mice are rodents, a name derived from the Latin word rodere, which means what?
What was the last film Bela Lugosi ever appeared in?
Stephen King affectionately refers to the people who read his books by a respectful “pet name.” What is it?
In Poe’s poem “The Raven,” the main character pondered (weak and weary) in what month of the year?
What was the name of Jack Skellington’s ghostly pet dog?
In The Exorcist, what is the name of the priest who saves Regan from her possession, but throws himself through the bedroom window and dies in a fall down the steps outside?
Our second Secret Santa Can Suck It exchange was loads of fun, and everybody definitely came through with the awesomeness. Below is a list of everyone’s “gifts.” Go take a look at all the marvelously creative ideas!
Melissa (Recipient: Cobwebs) – Melissa was stuck with no connectivity–shriek!–and was very apologetic about not being able to post her “gift” in time. I’ll pretend she gave me…hmmm…a tour of spooky places in Europe: The Catacombs in France, Castle Dracula in Transylvania, and so forth. It’s just what I wanted! Yay!
Chinese Matchbook Monsters – Chris Sims found a bunch of Chinese matchbooks with traditional monster illustrations, but no description of what the monsters were supposed to be. So he made up his own. I can’t imagine the real descriptions are as wonderful.
Flip – Restaurant which specializes in high-end burgers. I mention it here entirely because of one menu item they offer, a milkshake made of foie gras and chocolate that they call–I swear to god–Offaltine.
BobT is a somewhat…emphatic fan of Slayer in Southern California,* so he did the logical thing and decorated his house with lights that synchronize to Slayer’s Raining Blood. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t epic.
p.s. – The Great Galactic Ghoul managed to eat my e-mails about the Secret Santa Can Suck It exchange twice, so the “gift list” will be posted next Monday instead.
*Author Calvin Trillin once remarked after seeing a man blowing watermelon-sized bubbles on Venice Beach that people in Southern California tend to become very, very good at completely pointless things. As a SoCA native, I sort of have to agree.
She is, additionally, commenting liberally, and it is hilarious.
Blessedly, Flora’s mother faints at this point, so that everyone can shut the hell up and chase the damn thing. And then we (eventually) get to the first part of the book that nearly made me cry laughing.
They looked in the direction he indicated. At the end of this vista was the wall of the garden. At that point it was full twelve feet in height, and as they looked, they saw the hideous, monstrous form they had traced from the chamber of their sister, making frantic efforts to clear the obstacle.
They saw it bound from the ground to the top of the wall, which it very nearly reached, and then each time it fell back again into the garden with such a dull, heavy sound, that the earth seemed to shake again with the concussion. They trembled — well indeed they might, and for some minutes they watched the figure making its fruitless efforts to leave the place.
I don’t know why Varney can’t get over the wall. It’s not, like, a holy garlic wall or anything. All I know is, I nearly fell out of my chair at the image of this poor vampire desperately trying to jump over it, perhaps with a sad little grunt, and then falling on its ass… over and over and over.
And then (several paragraphs of discussion later), Henry shoots the vampyre again, and Varney tumbles over the wall with a pitiful howl. You guys, I’m just sad now.
She’s posting the whole thing in segments, all for free (although she’d be grateful for a tip). Part 1 is here, and you can see all entries here. A Class 2 Beverage Alert is in effect throughout.
In yet another example of a spinoff being cooler than the actual franchise, DeviantArt member spicysteweddemon has created a whole set of space opera-esque Harry Potter characters, including Overlord Voldemort, General Lucius Malfoy of the Slytherin Alliance, and Captain Harold J. Potter of the ISS Griffin. The various characters’ costumes and titles hint at an interesting backstory.
I particularly like their combination futuristic-looking wand/retro raygun, and I think I prefer this version of Voldemort to the real one.
There’s some great inspiration for Masquerade costumes (not to mention fanfic).