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A bird in the hand is worth significantly less if you’re Lennie from Of Mice and Men.
— nonsequiturific
Accidentally bought a Christmas wraith. Everyone dead.
— bengoldacre
In the land of the headless, the Headless Horseman is no better than the next guy. Suck it, Headless Horseman.
— thedayhascome
The opposite of having problems is death.
— YeahImAshley
Little known fact, vampires are allergic to magnesium. When ignited and shoved down their throat.
— Nobody Asked Me…
The reason there were no fish Nazis is simple: Fish Hitler got into fish art school.
— donni
This exists. http://twitpic.com/361bzj
— badbanana
The worst part of having a monster under my bed is lending it condoms.
— sween
Three Wise Men? Three of them? Now I really know the Bible isn’t real.
— Paxochka
It’s important to clearly mark which egg nog has been spiked. Write that down. These kids are fucking hilarious though.
— NakedNikki
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