Seen Online
Me: sleep before the monsters get you
7: monsters aren’t real
M: you sound like your brother
7: brother?
M: I’ve said too much already
— DaddyJew
Some days you’re Prometheus chained to a rock doomed to have his liver torn out and eaten every day by an eagle, and some days you’re the bird who gets a convenient cliff snack
— kendrawcandraw
coffins : the ultimate and final ravioli
— egg_dog
I’d be fine with a ghost in the house if every time a message in blood appeared on the wall it was something helpful like YOUR KEYS ARE IN THE FRONT DOOR.
— LizHackett
The name ‘earthworm’ essentially suggests that there are worms from other planets that scientists haven’t told us about
— LeBearGirdle
me: look at this mass of crows! thousands of them! an ill omen
ornithologist: actually those are ravens. you can tell by the size of their bodies and the sounds they make
me: oh, so, not an ill omen?
ornithologist: oh no you’re super cursed either way
— spacetwinks
Be the reason why the lights flicker when you enter a room
— DothTheDoth
imagining observational comedy in an urban fantasy world
WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH VAMPIRES, AM I RIGHT, YOU’RE NOT SO SPECIAL, WE *ALL* CAN BE KILLED WITH A WOODEN STAKE. I KID I KID, ANYWAY, ANY STITCHED-TOGETHER CORPSE MONSTERS IN THE AUDIENCE? GIVE YOURSELVES A HAND, ANOTHER ONE
— vandroidhelsing (Note: This is the first in a thread. The rest are here.)
If you want to be remembered forever, have a destination funeral. Bahamas, swimming with the dolphins. Force your loved ones to watch from the beach as Flipper & friends knock your corpse around like a beach ball.
— _ElvishPresley_
There was a pigeon staring at a puddle outside my home for about three hours. And I don’t know if he had nothing better to do or if I just witnessed an omen for a very low-level prophecy.
— SamSykesSwears
Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »
March 16th, 2018 at 3:58 am
That observational comedy made me chuckle.