The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

August 22nd, 2017 by Cobwebs

Alligators can live up to 100 years, which is why there’s an increased chance that they will see you later.
Pundamentalism

I want my house to be tidy enough so that if someone drops by unexpectedly it doesn’t look like we’re six days into battling a poltergeist.
LizHackett

I don’t have a resting bitch face. My bitch face is always on duty, ever vigilant. My bitch face will rest when its work is done.
awesomonster

if i die on a hill it’s gonna be the bottom of that hill. i’m not climbing up a hill to die
futurecreaturre

*Heaven*
God: you may ask me 1 question
Me: Why aren’t there lowercase and uppercase numbers?
God: what?
Me: I wanna write loud numbers
LeBearGirdle

As your goth financial advisor I urge you to bury all of your possessions & then on your death bed whisper their location to a stranger.
DothTheDoth

I know that “rainbow bridge” thing people say when a pet dies originated in a poem, but I can’t help but think, “Mittens went to Asgard.”
Jenny_Trout

“Dad where do babies come from?”
“Son, when birds & bees mate, they make us afterward. We’re birdbees, son. Abominations. And we’re hunted.”
Home_Halfway

why did everyone play the recorder in fourth grade what were they training us for
dariatbh

I feel like I missed an amazing opportunity to make my wedding registry be only haunted dolls.
LizHackett

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