The Art of Darkness

Secret Santa Can Suck It: My Gift

December 16th, 2014 by Cobwebs

The matches for our Secret Santa Can Suck It exchange have been made and sent to their assignees. After everyone posts about their “gift,” I’ll list all of the entries to peruse. To kick things off, here’s mine.

My recipient is Pixel Pixie, and I was delighted when I drew her name out of the hat because I know just what to get her. She likes to sew, so she gets a deluxe sewing room makeover!

She’s going to need some storage space, and some nice big work tables.

Storage

Lots of drawers, and flooring that’s easy to keep tidy and pretty to boot.

Flooring

Her equipment will be upgraded as well, with professional-quality sewing machine, serger, and embroidery machine.

Sewing Machines

When they’re not in use, the equipment can stay out of the way in custom Victorian-style cases like this one:

Sewing Table

All of her supplies get a makeover as well, with some laser-guided(!) precision shears, plus interesting goth touches like “wicked” embroidery scissors:

Scissors

Speaking of goth, she needs a couple of vintage iron dress forms:

Dress Forms

And a closet full of bat-shaped clothes hangers:

Bat Hangers

Finally, just to help her settle in with her new gear, we’ll arrange for a couture apprenticeship in Paris:

Paris

So happy holidays, Pixel Pixie! I hope my “gift” meets with your approval!

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The Great Martian War

December 15th, 2014 by Cobwebs

As an unusual tribute to WW I, the History Channel created an allegorical secret history of a war against Martian invaders.

On its 100th anniversary, The Great Martian War tells the story of the catastrophic events and unimaginable horrors of 1913-17, when Humankind was pitted against a savage Alien invasion.

With powerful and detailed First World War parallels, The Great Martian War fuses sci-fi fantasy with specialist factual history to explore the real-world tragedies and unique horror of World War One.

The accompanying video is weirdly plausible.

(There are a lot of complaints about the choice of music, so watch it with the sound off if it irritates you.)

(via BoingBoing)

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Secret Santa Can Suck It…Again

November 27th, 2014 by Cobwebs

Cthulhu ClausLong-time blog readers will remember the Secret Santa Can Suck It virtual fake gift swap from years past, and darned if we aren’t going to do it again.

It’s fun, easy, and completely free to participate: Between now and December 10, leave a comment on this post or email me saying that you want to be part of the swap. On the 12th I’ll tell you who your assigned “giftee” is, and some time before December 23 you post a picture on your blog of what you would have gotten that person if you had money and, y’know, cared. Send me the link or, if you don’t have a blog, let me know and you can arrange to have your “gift” posted here.

On December 24 I’ll post a list of everybody’s entries so we can all marvel at each other’s good taste. It’s a silly, fun way to take a short break from general holiday craziness, plus we can all discover new blogs we might not otherwise find. The more people who participate the more entertaining the gift list will be, so put your inner Scrooge in a corner and join in!

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There’s a Man in the Woods

November 24th, 2014 by Cobwebs

Animation student Jacob Streilein made this creepy short to exorcise some old fears.

When I was in elementary school, the older kids started a rumor that quickly made recess a terrifying experience. I’ve been wanting to make this film just so I had a place to put some of the details of that rumor.

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Stuff I Found While Looking Around

November 19th, 2014 by Cobwebs

Here’s another bunch of random stuff I’ve found which I want to share but might not be able to hang a whole post on. Some of them have no attribution, so if you happen to know the source for any of these please leave a note in the comments. (Click to view larger.)

Bat Cake Pops

Bat Cake Pops

This kit is by wholesaler BrandCastle and is available at Amazon. The price is fairly reasonable, but if you wanted to DIY them (or make more than the kit contains), you could use Bakerella’s cake pop guide and print the little paper wings on a computer.
Ouija Placemat

Ouija Board Placemats

These are available on Etsy, but they seem to be just a plastic-laminated paper printout. A set of fancier ones made with custom-printed fabric (or embroidered if you’re feeling really ambitious) would be a great hostess gift.
Chandelier

Ghostly Chandelier

Neither Google Image Search nor TinEye could find any matches for this, so I have no idea where it came from. The kindly-looking specters appear to be soft-sculpture of some kind. It’d be a heck of a room accent. (Hat tip to Kathy)
Spider Slippers

Spider Slippers

Virtually every site with this picture is a humor aggregator, so I can’t provide an original source. I desperately want these to be a real thing, but I’m pretty certain they’re just a ‘shopped photo of a real tarantula with added googly eyes.
Vulturemingoes

Vulturemingoes

These altered lawn flamingoes are by Halloween Forum member Tannasgach. I’m sure they’re meant to be a Halloween yard decoration, but if it wasn’t for their neck ruff being fragile I’d be happy to leave them up year-’round.
Zombie Pincushion

Zombie Pincushion

This easy felted pincushion was made by Craftster member Supervelma. If you aren’t a fan of zombies, you could use a simple gravestone instead.
Petal Pumpkins

Petal Pumpkins

These are sold by Grandin Road and like so much Grandin Road stuff they are insanely expensive (originally $99 each, now on clearance for $59; oh my stars) and highly DIY-able. This is like, half an hour with a fake pumpkin, a bunch of silk flowers, and a glue gun.
Ghost Caught on Tape

Ghost Caught on Tape

This made me laugh and I’m not even going to apologize.
Bat Cheese Balls

Mini Batty Cheese Balls

These are the cutest li’l party snacks ever. There’s a recipe here, but you could substitute whatever kind of cheeselike substance you want. The blue-corn tortilla chips make great wings.
Eye Book

Latest News from the Year 1732 and 1733

This is a work by German artist Hubertus Gojowczyk. It’d also make a darn fine spellbook prop and should be reasonably DIY-able with a thrifted book, a pair of taxidermy eyes, and an Xacto knife.

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& Teller

November 17th, 2014 by Cobwebs

In 2008 Teller (the non-speaking, less-assholish member of Penn & Teller) released a video short about life after the zombie apocalypse. He released a second episode in 2010, then three more in October 2014. Here’s the first episode:

The rest are here. In the comments on #5, Ghost Works LLC (who filmed the videos) is ambiguous about additional episodes, replying to “I hope this can continue in another 8 (sic) years” with “Thanks. It won’t be that long.” but then following up “Is this the final episode of ‘& Teller’?” with “For now.” So I guess that some time before 2022 there might be another episode.

Anyway, these are more “I Am Legend” than “Dawn of the Dead,” so that’s nice.

(via BoingBoing)

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The Green Ruby Pumpkin

October 27th, 2014 by Cobwebs

This short film is intended to capture the enchantment of Halloween and was made as a “passion project” by visual effects artists Miguel Ortega and Tran Ma.

There’s also a “making of” video. You can view more of Ortega’s work at his site.

(via ShellHawk)

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From Darkness

October 20th, 2014 by Cobwebs

Artist Nora Twomey made this neat short film based on the Inuit tale of The Skeleton Woman.

(via Spooky Moon)

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This Year’s Costumes

October 15th, 2014 by Cobwebs

Egyptian DuoIt’s time for the annual costume recap! Every year I spend entirely too much time making costumes for Shadowboy and a friend’s niece, then have professional photos taken. Sometimes I’m lucky and can talk them into matching costumes–like when they were a vampire and a bat–and this year after she decided she wanted to be Cleopatra I was happily able to talk him into being King Tut (showing him this may or may not have had anything to do with it).

I was thrilled because: 1) Yay, no street clothes! and 2) Lots of room for embellishment. Here are the results: Pharaoh 1, Pharaoh 2, Cleopatra, Cleopatra 2, Duo, Duo 2

For years now, one of Butterick’s staple costume patterns was a child’s “Egyptian princess,” and in keeping with my normal luck where the Gods of Crafting are concerned, the year that I finally needed it it was discontinued. Fortunately my habit of buying likely-looking patterns whenever the local fabric stores have 99-cent sales came to my rescue; after digging through my entire stash I found a copy of the pattern which I’d purchased years ago. It’s Butterick 3586, but if you can’t find one from a discontinued-pattern reseller the dress is just a simple sheath and could be adapted from any number of other commercial patterns. The only change I made was to shorten it and make the hem rounded instead of straight.

The decorative collars and the boy’s overskirt are from the same pattern, but they would also be pretty straightforward to make freehand. The gems on the collars are self-adhesive jewels from Oriental Trading. (The adhesive works surprisingly well, so be sure the gems are right where you want them before sticking them down. When I tried to pull a misaligned one back up, it took the gold top layer of the fabric with it.)

The girl’s belt was made freehand from a piece of brocade; it’s fastened with velcro underneath the front flap.

The boy’s tunic was Simplicity 4213, shortened and with a cutout in the front of the skirt. The boy’s headdress is another discontinued pattern, Butterick 4313. I first tried it freehand but couldn’t seem to get the proportions right, so I broke down and bought the pattern from an Etsy seller.

The girl’s headdress is hand-beaded because I am clinically insane. I followed the general guidelines found here, but I don’t have a styrofoam dummy head so I just laid everything out on a flat work surface and tied it that way (I also used monofilament beading thread instead of the waxed thread mentioned in the instructions.)

The girl’s staff is a wooden dowel spray-painted gold, topped with a cobra head finger puppet which was spray-painted and then embellished with beads: The plastic was soft enough to just push a needle through the base and tie off the thread on the inside.

The boy’s crook and flail were made from a wooden cane, cut in half and painted. The flail’s head is a couple of pieces of PVC plumbing pipe stuck together and spray-painted; I strung some beads on monofilament and fastened them inside of the pipe with duct tape.

The boy’s belt and sandals were lucky thrift-store finds, and the girl’s sandals were purchased at a costume shop.

My friend did her niece’s makeup–in her words, “Thank heaven for Pinterest”–and also put a little Egyptian-style eyeliner on Shadowboy. It didn’t all come off with makeup remover, so he looked like Robert Smith for the rest of the afternoon; I considered that sort of a bonus.

Shadowboy’s portrait will be framed appropriately and added to my Big Wall o’ Costumes, and now it’s time to start planning for next year.

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Underappreciated TV: The Storyteller

October 13th, 2014 by Cobwebs

In 1987 Jim Henson launched an unfortunately short-lived TV series called The Storyteller, which was a mix of human actors and puppets from Henson’s Creature Shop. Each episode featured the Storyteller (played by John Hurt), accompanied by his dog (played by Brian Henson), telling a traditional European folktale.

The StoryTeller series was originally conceived by Jim Henson’s daughter Lisa after talking a folklore class at Harvard University. Jim was enchanted by the idea of a television series that remained true to the subtlety and metaphoric richness of ancient stories. He and Lisa brainstormed the concept of the series, basing all of the episodes on authentic folk tales. The result of a strong literary research team joined with the magical visual effects and animatronics produced by Jim Henson’s Creature Shop, The StoryTeller is a rare combination of ancient tradition and modern technology artistry.

— The Muppet Wiki

Although the show is suitable for older kids, the puppets are definitely more Labyrinth than Muppet in appearance and the storylines can be a little bit weird and dark.

There were 9 episodes in the original series (according to the Wiki it also spawned a four-episode spinoff of Greek myths); they’re available on DVD and on several streaming sites, but YouTuber TheMiserarium has also posted them all.

Here’s the first one, “The Soldier and Death:”

The others were:

Hans My Hedgehog
Fearnot
A Story Short
The Luck Child
The Heartless Giant
The True Bride
Sapsorrow
The Three Ravens

It was a fun show; I’m sorry it didn’t run longer.

(via Laughing Squid))

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