“Ever wish songs just sang what was happening in the music video? Well now they do.”

I…hardly know where to begin with this. The original is just about the most 80’s music video ever made, and the “reimagining” makes it a thousand times more wonderful.

(There’s a whole series, but this one is my favorite.)

Fathers Day is coming up! If you’re stumped for gifts for the goth dad in your life, here are some suggestions.

Traditional doesn’t have to be boring. These neckties at Zazzle are attractive and unique; I especially love this graveyard one. Zazzle also has a number of other products, like this Goth Dad hat and Good Mourning coffee mug, plus cute Father’s Day cards featuring skellies Bonnie and Clyde.

There are loads of ideas at Cafepress, including dad-centric T-shirts like The Gothfather, Dadthulhu, or The Anti-Parent. Searching “goth dad” will bring up many other designs.

Accessories are another good option, like these Coffin Cuff Links or Hearse Stick Pin from Pushin’ Daisies. This Goth Animation Watch from Fossil is attractive and understated.

You might also get a little more creative with clothing; perhaps getting him that top hat or fedora he’s always wanted, or maybe these awesome vampire glasses. There’s always boxer shorts as a fallback, perhaps featuring Anarchy or Skulls.

A new dad might appreciate this Skull Diaper Bag, and a cook might enjoy something like Day of the Dead Hot Sauce or a Crossbones Apron.

The reader might like a book on cemetery photography like Haunter of Ruins or A Gathering of Souls; a collection like the Oxford Book of Gothic Tales or Victorian Ghost Stories; or perhaps a coffee-table book such as Tattoo.

For the gamer, a set of dice (like these or these) might be welcome, along with an attractive dice bag to keep them in.

There are loads of skull-themed automotive accessories available, like this gear knob and this steering wheel cover.

Another nice gift is the horror movie basket: A box of microwave popcorn, some jumbo candy bars, and DVDs of a couple of horror movies, all arranged attractively in a basket or box. For an extra treat, tuck in a book like the Horror Movie Survival Guide or the The Amazing, Colossal Book of Horror Trivia.

A beer drinker might like this attractive Goth Beer wall clock or this Grim Reaper pilsner glass, or perhaps a homebrew kit so he can try it himself.

The geeky goth would probably appreciate a Leatherman tool, a Police Line utility bag, or this amusing severed hand handrest.

Music-lovers might like a “greatest hits” album of a band like Bauhaus or Sisters of Mercy, or a collection like Gothic Party Time, Dancing in the Dark, Projekt: Gothic, or Goth Industrial Club Anthems.

That oughta be enough to get you started. What’s your favorite Fathers Day gift?

You readers who like these link dumps are in luck. I pared my Drafts folder drastically and all of those half-finished posts have got to go somewhere. There will probably be regular dumps for the next several Fridays.

Dragon Cake – Dot at Dabbled did a dragon theme for her son’s birthday this year (last year was robots), and this is the cake she made. I will now go commit seppuku from sheer cake envy. (She’s also posted a tutorial.)

Don’t Bleed on the Carpet – Cross-stitch pattern from Etsy seller radicalrags. I love the pretty antique border juxtaposed with the sentiment.

Creepy Crawler – An astoundingly detailed–and disturbing–mod to a child’s pedal car.

FACE IT – Vinyl graphics in the shape of a toothy face. I like where they chose to display their versatility.

When Vampires Fly – An amusing “vampire wedding” package currently listed on eBay.

Photo Shower Curtain – This company will print any photo you desire on a shower curtain, using a dye process they promise won’t fade or crack. How many Psycho prints do you suppose have been done already?

My Little Zombie Pony – Using one of the My Little Pony “decorate your own” kits, Flickr user dbx1 made some ridiculously splendid zombie ponies.

The Strain – io9 reviews Guillermo del Toro’s new book, calling it “the antidote to fey vampires.” I bet none of them sparkle.

London’s Benches and the Strange Case of Croy Devenish-Phibbs – TimeOut article about a peculiar hoax involving the memorial plaques on park benches in London. The fake plaques are hilarious, and I’m tempted to request in my will that somebody commission a real one for me with the same message shown in the photograph. (My will already stipulates that everybody who goes to my funeral receives a T-shirt that reads, “I went to [my name]’s funeral and all I got was this stupid T-shirt,” so this is really just the logical next step.)

I like cupcakes. They’re easy to make, easier than a cake to decorate, and if you get an assembly line going you can turn out a lot of them with relatively little effort. It’s fairly easy to find Halloween-themed cupcakes for kids, but here are a few that would also work well for an adult party.

The ones pictured above are “Murdered Cupcakes” by Craftster user Lethargic, featuring knives cleverly made out of tinted white chocolate. If you don’t feel up to making the knives, you could probably find plastic ones meant for dollhouse kitchens.

A couple that I’ve mentioned previously include cupcakes decorated as spiders and jam-filled vampire bites.

Three from Epicurious: brains (perfect for a zombie-themed party), eyeballs, and bleeding hearts (I love the “anatomical” look of these).

Wilton tends to feature designs that require their line of decorating accessories, so it always seems as though they’re a little too hard. However, these ghosts would be creepy even without the arms and legs, and this other ghost design is easy and would be effective with other “heads” besides the pumpkin. I also like the cauldrons (sans ghost), and I’m really quite taken with their “Webbed Feat” cupcake platter.

As usual, Martha Stewart knocks it out of the park with Ghosts and a variety of Creepcakes (I adore the little tentacled one).

These spiderwebs and spirals are pretty and easy.

If you aren’t afraid to work with fondant, check out these two from Flickr: witches and midnight blooms. And if you’re completely hopeless at decorating, make tombstones out of cookies: These look quite effective massed on a plate, especially if you put a little candy pumpkin or other decoration beside each tombstone.

Rats. Now I’m all hungry.

Update: A couple of days before this post was scheduled to go up, Wedding Skulls did a cupcake roundup of her own. Go check out her awesome finds as well!

Now that summer is nearly here, the toads are emerging from their lairs and many of my evenings are spent chasing them around so I can pick them up and pet them. (Meanwhile, Shadow Jack trudges stolidly behind, wondering how he ever wound up saddled with a lunatic who pets toads. But I digress.)

In addition to being cute, toads are also a fantastic natural pest control for the garden. I like to encourage organic, pesticide-free gardening, so here are some gothy creatures to help keep out the bad bugs:

Toads eat all kinds of insects, grubs, and slugs, and they’re supposed to be good luck. Provide them with some water to drink and to lay their eggs (it doesn’t have to be a pond; anything that doesn’t dry out will do). Give them shelter, both in the form of rock piles and vegetation where they can hide and a cool, damp “toad abode” where they can get out of the sun and away from predators (you can buy elaborate toad houses, but a clay pot turned on its side and halfway buried in the ground is fine). Avoid spraying pesticides or other harsh chemicals; toads and frogs are very susceptible to poisoning. Keep cats under control to prevent them from snacking on toads (both for the toad’s sake and the cat’s; some toads are poisonous).

Lizards eat a variety of insects and can be attracted by giving them places to hide (such as a rock pile or a stack of logs), a shallow water source near the ground, and some flat rocks to sun on.

Snakes will be attracted by the same conditions that lizards like. Although they might eat helpful species like lizards and toads, they also eat rodents. (I think the tradeoff is worth it; there’s nothing that ticks me off more than finding a mouse’s nest in a basement storage box, and I love seeing the occasional shed skin that lets me know our snakes are on patrol.) It should go without saying that you shouldn’t try to pick up a wild snake, and make sure children and pets won’t be bitten.

Bats are nonpareil bug-eaters, and nothing could be gothier. I’ve gone into detail about attracting bats here.

Read the rest of this entry »

There’s been a recent stir in the news about a 17th-Century “witch bottle” unearthed in England (read about the find at Times Online and MSNBC); although over 200 have been found, this is the first one that’s intact.

The discovery is interesting, but I’m also much taken with the bottle itself. It’s described as “salt-glazed stoneware,” and I love the imposing bearded face on the neck. A bit of online digging led me to the fact that many witch bottles were made of salt-glazed stoneware flagons known as “bellarmines” after the feared inquisitor Cardinal Roberto Bellarmino, whose face was traditionally embossed on the neck. (So that’s not some ancient pagan god on the bottle, it’s a really uptight Catholic.)

Original bellarmines are reasonably easy to find, but expensive (I found a couple on eBay for around $600). Fortunately they apparently lend themselves to lots of reproductions: Moonstone Pottery has them, as does Hudson Claypotter. There’s also a lovely one at Colony of Avalon, but it’s a bit pricier than the others.

A bottle like this would make a lovely display piece, especially considering the history of what they were used for.

The new movie 9 (produced by Tim Burton, which should come as no surprise given that image there) involves a ragdoll who comes to life in a post-apocalyptic world where maniacal machines have killed off all of the humans. 9 finds a small community of others like him and tries to understand what’s happened to the world whilst avoiding the killer robots.

The Seamstress is one of the robots, and she’s pretty fantod-inducing.

[Director Shane Acker] was inspired by the mythological Medusa in his creation of this serpentine hunter. Fashioned with a doll’s head, grasping prehensile arms, an intricate thread-spool mechanism, and hypnotic eyes, the Seamstress lures her prey out of hiding and stuns them into submission before sewing them up within herself.

Dread Central has more information about the Seamstress (and the movie in general), and io9 has a clip of her in action.

I like her. She’s what I expect the Goddess of Gothic Crafts would look like.

LOLCthulhu – Mind on Fire presents a collection of entertaining Cthulhu links.

The Six Creepiest Abandoned Places – I think “creepy” is a matter of opinion, but I have to sort of agree with his assessment of Hellingly Asylum.

The Hammer – Blackwork pattern for fans of “Dr. Horrible.” This makes me giggle.

Being Human – io9 reports that the BBC series about a vampire and a werewolf who move into a haunted apartment is finally coming to U.S. audiences. Yay!

Cartoon Skeletons – I’d seen this link previously, but it took a post by Creepy Cupcakes to make me realize how lovely these would be as framed art.

Shark Attack Hat – This is brilliant. I want one to wear to formal events.

Rock Hyrax – This is a science “photo of the day.” Its little fangs make it look like the world’s cuddliest vampire.

RunPee – The worst thing about seeing a movie in a theater is the lack of a pause button. This inspired website tells you the best time to go to the bathroom during various movies.

When Love is Strange – An overview of “paranormal romance” novels.

Can Zombies Be Sexy? – The end of the article in the previous link states that zombies aren’t sexy. io9 begs to differ.

Claw Shoes – This is just a prototype, but they’re completely awesome.

After running across this rather arresting–but artistic–warning sign, it occurred to me that it and similar signs would make attractive and unusual decorations.

A quick search should turn up quite a number of them, but you can also check places like Safety First! for loads of examples. These vintage radiation warning posters, this “mental hygiene” sign (from the University of Minnesota collection) and “dangers of unkept hair” warning (from this site) would all be attractive artworks. Copy shops like Kinko’s can print good-quality oversize pictures, so you could have these blown up to poster size and framed.

You can also find similar pictures commerically available, particularly propaganda-style posters from WWII. This “Consider the Consequences” print is attractive, and this German poster is definitely eye-catching.

If you want something a little more spare and modern, look for unusual examples of the type in the thumbnail above (that one came from a chipper/shredder warning). symbols.net and freesignage.co.uk have some good resources.

You could even do a collection of prints, all on, say, a VD-awareness theme. Unusual and educational.

This one isn’t original; Maggie did a version based on this one, but since I used a different method to make my flowers I figured it was worth posting a tutorial.

I wanted to make the jacket as a classy wardrobe piece for Shadaughter, but unfortunately she refused to let me make it in black. (She really is the Marilyn to the rest of our family’s Munsters.) So it’s a springy mint-green color, but you can close your eyes and pretend it’s black.

The tutorial for making the flowers is here. I made the jacket out of a lightweight “linen-look” material, but you could also use something heavier like velvet. I’d recommend using a solid color instead of something patterned, and also keep the jacket itself rather plain; that way the ruffles really draw the eye.

The flowers are a good project to work on in front of the TV or whenever you have a few free minutes, and they came together much faster than I expected them to (I made the whole jacket in a weekend). They’re also a nice embellishment for hats, and a small cluster of them could be used as an accent for lots of other clothing.

Pretty! Easy! Go try it!