This neat mini-documentary by the Morbid Anatomy Museum features collector Brandon Hodge, who has the largest collection of ouija board planchettes in the world, plus lots of other devices for talking with the dead.

(via BoingBoing)

Hello from the Magic Tavern – This improv podcast, featuring a guy who’s accidentally fallen through a portal into a fantasy kingdom, sounds like a lot of fun.

Fossil Coprolites – You can buy dinosaur poop for as little as $3. Jewelry made out of this would be an amusing gift.

Ways to Turn Goth – This ‘toon is marvelous. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Abbie’s Anchor – Etsy shop selling interesting jewelry, including sweater guard/brooches resembling Death’s Head moths and bats.

The Only Christmas Carols That Are Any Good, A Definitive and Absolute List, Fight Me – Roundup of carols, with thoughtful commentary like, “If you do not know the lyrics to this one, go look them up, for verily they are BONKERS.”

A Very Scary Cthulhu Christmas – Roundup of Lovecraftian holiday wares.

Sparrow Coin Purses – These little coin purses made by Japanese crafter Left Thimble aren’t even slightly goth, but I’m wondering how hard it would be to convert a plush toy like a raven, bat, or tarantula into something similar.

Coffins vs. Caskets – A “Morbid Minute” discussion of death receptacles by The Order of the Good Death. (Hat tip to Burning Prairie)

Christmas: A Ghostly Gathering – Midnight Syndicate has a new collection of spooky Christmas-themed music.

Self Organization – This tentacular typewriter sculpture by Courtney Brown is oddly soothing. I sort of want to type long letters whilst tentacles wave lazily around my head.

This is one of those neat no-skill-required projects that can be put together in just a few minutes, but can also be embellished to your heart’s content. It’s nothing but a birdbath topped with a glass round, in which you display stuff. (The sand and seashells in this particular version aren’t goth, but that’s easy to fix.)

If you don’t already have an old birdbath handy–everybody’s grandma used to have one–they can often be found cheap at nursery and hardware stores’ end-of-season clearance sales. You can also ask if there are any cracked or chipped ones available at a reduced price; it doesn’t have to hold water, and an old, worn appearance is spookier anyway. Leave it in its natural state or spray-paint it black.

Round glass tabletops can be found at hardware stores and various dealers online. You can also check thrift stores for glass-topped end tables and discard the rest of the table (or use it for storage).

You don’t have to line the basin with anything, but it might give your display a more finished appearance. Decorative sand and gravel comes in a wide variety of colors, including black. You won’t need a whole lot just to cover the bottom, so a bag of the stuff they sell at pet stores for aquariums should be adequate. You could also try Spanish moss or even something like crumpled velvet.

And there are, of course, all kinds of creepy things to display within. Small animal skulls (plastic props are fine) would look good, as would a smaller-scale version of this exhumation cocktail table. You could also use dollhouse miniatures to create a teensy cemetery under glass.

If the glass fits on top of the birdbath without much overhang you probably won’t need to secure it (although you may want to get some of those little rubber feet to keep it from slipping). However, if you’re afraid of someone leaning on the edge and upending the whole thing, you may want to run a line of a glass adhesive around the lip of the birdbath; make sure you carefully center the glass, because you don’t want to move it around and smear it with adhesive.

Projects don’t come much easier than this, and if you’ve got a collection of small treasures you want to display this is a unique way to do it.

Note: The original photo for this seems to come from a hardware site called Jones Paint & Glass, but I’m not linking it here because my virus software reported a Javascript injection attack.

It’s time for another bunch of random stuff I want to share but can’t hang a whole post on. Some of them have no attribution, so if you happen to know the source for any of these please leave a note in the comments. (Click to view larger.)

	“Bloody Good” Cheesecake This chocolate cheesecake with “bloody” topping is from sugardish. The presentation is nice, but I’m horrified at the idea of using red gel frosting for the blood. Instead, put 1/2 C raspberry jam and 2 T brandy in a small saucepan and stir over low heat until the jam melts. Strain through a sieve to remove seeds and pour over cake.
	Reindeer Bun Unsettle your co-workers with this festive hairstyle. Given the new craze for “man buns,” fellas can get into the act too. There’s a video tutorial here.
	Professor Alexander’s Botanical Vasculum Etsy shop SteamedGlass specializes in these steampunky moss terrariums. They’re currently closed with no re-open date, but this might be useful as inspiration for a DIY version.
	Corgi Swarm The “spell failure” caption on the photo has been floating around for a while (and it makes me laugh every single time I see it), but somebody actually went ahead and formalized the conjuration and its effects. Next time I run a D&D campaign, this sucker’s going in there.
	Halloween Headbands These headbands/fascinators are by Grandin Road (motto: “Marking up cheap crap by 10,000% since 1991”), but something similar would be reasonably easy to DIY. The spider, in particular, appears to be just a styrofoam ball and pipe cleaners.
	Trick Candy This is diabolical. (via pdq) And here’s another, related, idea.
	Scary Wreath I gave up on finding an original source for this; it’s all over the place on link aggregators, with and without the caption. It seems to be patterned after the Evil Wreath in NMBC, and would be easy enough to DIY. The eyes appear to be yellow Christmas lightbulbs with pupils drawn on, and the teeth look like craft foam. Bonus links: When I was trying to track down the source for this, I uncovered a few other neat wreaths: Game of Thrones, Zombie, and Cthulhumas.
	Bat Stencils The tutorial for this project, including a downloadable pattern, is from Design*Sponge (the instructions are halfway down the page, under the wall o’ unrelated links). The bats are made of craft foam and are intended as temporary decorations, but you could also use the pattern as a stencil and paint them on permanently.
	Eye Tie A friend took this photo at the SOFA exhibit in Chicago. The eyes appear to be the flat-backed acrylic eyes used to make dolls and teddy bears, and the beads are probably plastic pearls. It’d be possible to just hot-glue them to a thrifted necktie for short-term use, but if you wanted something a little more long-wearing you’d have to bite the bullet and sew them on. The eyeballs would look pretty good on a hat or clutch, too.
	Vincent Price This is here because everyone should be reminded occasionally that young Vincent Price was smokin’ hot.

You can hark to the herald angels, but that isn’t singing.

Homemade candy is a great holiday gift: People appreciate receiving something hand-made, it’s easy to make in large batches, and for relatively little money and effort you can turn out something that looks downright artisanal. Chocolate truffles and divinity are easy candies to master, and if you can give them names that will horrify elderly aunts, so much the better. I’ve even made spiffy downloadable labels for you.

Reindeer Poop

These are chocolate-peppermint truffles since it stands to reason that, just as unicorn poop tastes of cotton candy, the poop of Santa’s reindeer would taste Christmasy. Duh.

10 oz bittersweet chocolate, chopped or broken into small pieces
3 T unsalted butter
1/2 C heavy cream
1 T light corn syrup
1 tsp peppermint extract, or 1 T creme de menthe

8 ounces semisweet or bittersweet chocolate, chopped fine
Festive sprinkles (optional): I used these, but you could use these or these or any of the other zillion search results for “Christmas sprinkles.”
OR
1/2 C Dutch process cocoa powder

Place the 10 oz of chocolate and butter in a medium saucepan and melt together over a double boiler full of simmering water. I sometimes live dangerously and melt directly over very low heat, stirring constantly, but you have to be careful not to let it scorch. Set aside.

Place the cream and corn syrup in a small saucepan and bring to a simmer over medium heat. Pour over the chocolate mixture and let stand for 2 minutes. Using a wooden spoon or rubber spatula, stir gently until the mixture is smooth and creamy. Stir in the mint extract or creme de menthe. Pour into an 8″x8″ glass dish and refrigerate for at least one hour.

Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper. Use a tablespoon, melon baller, or cookie scoop to scoop the truffle mixture onto the parchment. (If the mixture is too stiff to scoop easily, let it sit at room temperature for about 10 minutes.) Return the sheet to the refrigerator for 30 minutes.

If finishing with cocoa powder, put it into a bowl or pie pan.

If finishing with a chocolate coating, you’ll need to melt and temper the remaining 8 oz of chocolate.* Finely chop it and place two-thirds of it in the top of a double boiler or a metal bowl set over a saucepan of barely-simmering water. Place a candy thermometer in the chocolate and stir frequently as it melts. Be careful not to let the temperature exceed 120°F for dark chocolate or 105°F for milk or white chocolate.

As soon as the chocolate is fully melted, remove it from the heat and wipe the bottom of the bowl to remove any condensation (water will cause the chocolate to “seize,” so it’s important to not let any drip into the melted chocolate). Stir in the remaining third of the chocolate a little at a time, letting it melt before adding more.

Once the chocolate is at or below 82°F, place it back over simmering water. For dark chocolate, reheat to 88°F – 91°F. For milk and white chocolate, reheat to 85°F – 87°F.

Try to keep the chocolate at that temperature when working with it; if it begins to thicken too much but is still fairly liquid, it can be gently reheated; if it solidifies you’ll need to re-temper it.

There’s apparently an alternate method, which I haven’t tried, which involves putting a heating pad in a bowl, setting it to medium, and then putting a metal bowl holding the chocolate on top of that. Melt, stirring occasionally, until the chocolate reaches 88°F – 91°F (or 85°F – 87°F for milk/white). Adjust the setting of the heating pad to maintain that temperature.

Remove the truffles from the refrigerator and shape them into balls by rolling them between your palms. The cooler your hands are, the better; using latex gloves helps with that a bit, plus it keeps your hands cleaner. Return the rolled truffles to the refrigerator for 15 minutes to firm back up.

If finishing with cocoa powder, roll each truffle in the cocoa until coated. Return to the baking sheet.

If finishing with chocolate, dip each truffle into the chocolate using a fork. There’s a photo tutorial here that explains how to do that cleanly.

Place the dipped truffle back on the parchment paper. If decorating with sprinkles, sprinkle them over the chocolate before it hardens so they’ll stick.

Let the truffles sit in a cool, dry place for at least one hour. Store airtight in the refrigerator. The truffles taste best at room temperature.

For a different festive flavor, omit the mint extract in the recipe above and instead stir in 1 C chopped dried cranberries and 3 T thawed orange juice concentrate.

You could also vary the flavoring and decoration for these and pass them off as the droppings of other mythical animals. Instead of mint extract, try:

• Nightmare Poop: Add 1 tsp vanilla extract, 1 tsp cinnamon, and 1/4 tsp cayenne. Decorate with Halloween sprinkles or little edible bones.
• Unicorn Poop: Add 2 T rose water and 1 T Amaretto. Instead of dipping in chocolate, finish them with a marbled rainbow coating. (Note: I know that I said up above that unicorn poop tastes of cotton candy, but the only cotton candy-flavored truffle recipe I could find are those misbegotten crushed-up-Oreo things and those can die in a fire. I’m sure you could argue convincingly that unicorn poop tastes of roses; if anybody challenges you, ask them exactly how they know.)

Read the rest of this entry »

This faux-movie trailer follows group of young, carefree people whose idyllic cabin getaway is interrupted by a sexually-frustrated ghost who died during a jerkoff misadventure. She won’t rest until she finishes the job she started…but she can’t. She won’t even use lotion.

Sorta NSFW, doncha know.

(Hat tip to Fiend4Halloween)

Ghosts on the Nog – Five “forgotten” Christmas ghost stories.

Do-It-Yourself Werewolf Kit – This parody of old comic-book ads makes me kind of sad this kit doesn’t really exist.

Nicholas Was… – A short, short story (originally written on a postcard) by Neil Gaiman.

Winter White Velvet Fudge – Anybody who could look at this and think, “Christmas!” instead of “bloodstains!” is no friend of mine.

NMBC Christmas Wrapping – This is less a tutorial and more simply inspiration, but these spookily-wrapped packages are quite striking.

Old Tom Foolery – Amusing stationery, cards, and other printed material.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Cthulhu – Heartwarming.

Living Dead Doll: Krampus – The Mezco Classics had a limited-edition German exclusive of everybody’s favorite Christmas demon.

Dia de los Muertos: The Road to Mictlan – A short documentary on the history, practices, and influences of The Day of the Dead.

Krampus Bread – These loaves are fairly simplified and rustic-looking but I quite like the idea of making your baked goods a little more demonic.

Sam Haynes has released a collection of music inspired by Christmas horror movies such as Silent Night, Deadly Night and Christmas Evil

For this CD we took old familiar christmas music and mixed it with horror score orchestral music and even some electronic beats. The result is sure to give you the winter chills and would be perfect for a christmas themed horror movie or dark attraction. All of our music is podcast friendly so producers can use it any way they like too.

From now until December 13, the album is free/pay what you want at Bandcamp. Perfect stuff to play in the background whilst trimming the tree.

(via Cult of the Great Pumpkin)

Long-time blog readers will remember the Secret Santa Can Suck It virtual fake gift swap from years past, and darned if we aren’t going to do it again.

It’s fun, easy, and completely free to participate: Between now and December 10, leave a comment on this post or email me saying that you want to be part of the swap. On the 11th I’ll tell you who your assigned “giftee” is, and some time before December 23 you post on your blog about what you would have gotten that person if you had money and, y’know, cared. Send me the link or, if you don’t have a blog, let me know and you can arrange to have your “gift” posted here.

On December 24 I’ll post a list of everybody’s entries so we can all marvel at each other’s good taste. It’s a silly, fun way to take a short break from holiday stress, plus we can all discover new blogs we might not otherwise find. The more people who participate the more entertaining the gift list will be, so put your inner Scrooge in a corner and join in!

(Image from now-defunct business Jingle Balls)

1. The horror anthology series Tales from the Crypt featured a Christmas-themed episode in which a greedy woman makes the mistake of murdering her husband while an escaped mental patient dressed in a Santa Claus costume is on the loose. What was the episode’s title?
   A) “Silent Night, Deadly Night”
   B) “Scary Christmas”
   C) “Slay Bells Ring”
   D) “Christmas Evil”
   E) “And All Through the House”
2. Jack Skellington sends the trick-or-treating trio Lock, Shock, and Barrel out to bring Santa Claus back to Halloween Town. Which other holiday icon do they accidentally kidnap first?
3. Even The Addams Family had a Christmas episode. In “Christmas with the Addams Family,” a grouchy neighbor tells Wednesday and Pugsley that there is no Santa Claus, leading this family member to dress up as Santa but accidentally get stuck in the chimney.
   A) Gomez
   B) Cousin Itt
   C) Uncle Fester
   D) Lurch
   E) Grandpa Squint
4. Who accuses a visiting ghost of being nothing more than an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, or a fragment of an underdone potato?
5. Befana is a Santa-like character depicted as a broomstick-riding old lady who leaves candy and presents for good children and coal or garlic for naughty ones. Which country does she call home?
   A) Portugal
   B) Spain
   C) Bolivia
   D) Italy
   E) Mexico
6. When the Grinch is sneaking around Whoville trying to steal Christmas, he is briefly interrupted by this little girl, who is no more than two.
7. Since 2005, Doctor Who has had a special episode premiering on Christmas every year. The first one, “The Christmas Invasion,” saw the Doctor and Rose battling which scary alien race?
   A) Sycorax
   B) Cybermen
   C) Racnoss
   D) Judoon
   E) Raxacoricofallapatorians
8. In Norse mythology, the goddess Frigg extracted a promise from everything in the nine worlds to cause no harm to her son Balder. She overlooked a single plant, which, of course, is what Loki used to kill him. What is this plant, which luckily for the sake of this trivia theme happens to have Christmas associations?
9. The comedy Scrooged involves Bill Murray as a cynical TV programming executive who’s coordinating a live production of A Christmas Carol. Which famous Olympic gymnast portrays Tiny Tim?
   A) Mary Lou Retton
   B) Olga Korbut
   C) Nadia Comaneci
   D) Cathy Rigby
   E) Kerri Strug
10. In Terry Pratchett’s Hogfather, the Auditors of Reality try to eliminate Discworld’s Santa Claus analogue because he doesn’t fit their view of the universe. Which cat-loving character takes over the Hogfather’s job in his absence?

(Answers below the fold)

Read the rest of this entry »