The Art of Darkness

Requiem for a Link Dump

October 19th, 2018 by Cobwebs

Casting Spells – Tutorial for making vintage-look tea stained table napkins printed with faux witches’ spells.

Polly Pocket Addams Family – This li’l custom-made playset is utterly adorable.

Blood Bag Party Cups – These food-safe “blood bag” containers are perfect for a Halloween party.

deathcap – “my therapist suggested I try exploring my anxieties in fiction rather than autobiography, so here is a depressed mushroom.” This series of ‘toons is delightful.

Animal X-rays – These X-rays from the Oregon Zoo look like art prints.

The Simpson’s Too Short Story – This Simpsons filler piece done in the style of Edward Gorey is splendid. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

#31skirtsofoctober – Instagrammer avintagevanity is making a different Halloweeny skirt every day in October.

STET – Part of the impact of Sarah Gailey’s chilling short story is in its brilliant formatting.

Florida Man as Lady Voldemort – Drag queen Florida Man dresses as “Lady Voldemort” to lipsync Ariana Grande’s “Dangerous Woman.” Is a sentence I never thought I’d write. (Hat tip to Bruno)

The Nightmare Before Dinner – Zach Neil, creator of Halloween-themed restaurant Beetle House, has written a cookbook. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

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Seen Online

October 16th, 2018 by Cobwebs

The reason sex with a vampire doesn’t usually result in pregnancy isn’t because their sperm is dead, it’s because the vampire can’t come inside without an invitation.

Thank you for coming to my HaunTED Talk.

alexandraerin

“I’m lonely,” she said, “do you have a potion for making friends?”
“Sure. Drink this,” the witch said.
“Tea?”
“Yep. What’s on your mind?”
ASmallFiction

I notice Autumn is more the season of the soul than of nature.
— Friedrich Nietzsche

A vampire bat’s stomach quickly absorbs all the water out of the blood it drinks, and they pee while feeding to offload it. So. That fog people associate with vampires is probably pee mist. Or they carry a change of pants.
Megiavelli

It’s the zombie apocalypse!

Most people are working on taking out zombies, finding shelter or escaping the city, but not your party.

You’ve got a bunch of spray-cans and it is your duty to spray ominious, cryptic graffiti everywhere to make sure that the ruins fully fit the genre.

probablybadrpgideas

hey, I just met Zeus
and this is crazy
but he’s a swan and
I’m having babies
roboticcrab

dr frankenstein: it’s alive
dr frankenstein: speak
monster: am i the product of peer reviewed research
dr frankenstein: uh
monster: do you have the paperwork with the sources of all my body parts
dr frankenstein: well no
monster: good god this lab is pile of osha violations
wawoodworth

It’s an open secret that all archaeologists, librarians, curators, book dealers and archivists are secret agents. When we say “out of the office”, we mean “screaming GIVE ME THE OTHER HALF OF THE AMULET to a rival whilst battling with them on the edge of a waterfall”
Sotherans

if you’re ever feeling alone just remember that aladdin’s best friends were a monkey and a rug
savittj

Potential pantheon of old ones for our D&D campaign, as named by the resident creepy child NPC:
Mr. Watches You In The Corner
Old Lady Spiders Inside
The Lumpy One
Nobody Is There
Just, Like, A Cat
The Fish With No Eyes
Forever Screaming With A Candle
Sharp Teddy
Mother Squish
alexandraerin

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Link Dump Descending a Staircase

October 12th, 2018 by Cobwebs

belovedlittlelamb – Etsy shop featuring unusual jewelry like earthworm bracelets and bird foot earrings.

Scorpion Chair – This chair by Vyacheslav Pakhomov is simply gorgeous.

Grim Grinning Ghosts – Nice arrangement of the Haunted Mansion theme. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Chicken – I love this behind-the-scenes look at Baba Yaga.

Who is Dead? – An interesting look at the historical difficulty of making sure somebody dead wasn’t really just mostly dead. (Hat tip to Bruno)

Corseted Leather Top Hat Tutorial – If you’re feeling ambitious, this DIY steampunk top hat is amazing.

Plush Beetles – @MothMonarch is going to order a case of adorable Japanese plush beetles if there’s enough interest.

British Museum Blog – The venerable museum’s blog is full of all kinds of neat stuff

Free Halloween Reads – Tor Books is sharing free horror fiction all month.

The History League – Faux-sports team T-shirts featuring logos based on interesting historical events. I especially like the headless-but-feisty “‘Divorcees’ of Henry VIII.”

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The Link Dump of J. Alfred Prufrock

October 5th, 2018 by Cobwebs

How to Plan a Costumed Event Yourself – Want to dress in 18th Century attire and picnic in a graveyard? How about a “Last Dinner on the Titanic” party? Trystan Bass has you covered.

The Positive Death Movement Comes to Life – A look at the people who actually are putting the “fun” in “funeral.” Bonus link with additional comments at MeFi. (Hat tip to Bruno)

Goddess, Worm – Cassandra Khaw considers the silkworm.

Audrey II Puppet – This puppet seen at Maker Faire New York is adorable.

Hold Me, I’m Scared – I would be oddly okay with this.

The Allure of Gothic Horror – A lovely look at the tropes that embody this genre.

Maya Monsters – Artist Monarobot makes and reimagines monsters inspired by Maya glyphs, aesthethic and mythology.

The Damned star Dave Vanian reveals he’s behind Welsh vampire myth – I’ve found a new hobby. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Halloweesus – This needlefelted, slightly Satanic weasel is weirdly adorable.

Humble RPG Book Bundle: Vampire The Masquerade – Humble Bundle is selling the Revised Edition RPG for cheap. (Hat tip to Bruno)

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Behind the Green Link Dump

September 28th, 2018 by Cobwebs

Son of Dracula – Ringo Starr and Harry Nilsson were in a 1974 musical comedy about Dracula’s son and his quest to become king of the Netherworld. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Your D&D Stories – This artist makes comics from reader submissions about their D&D games.

Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn Kids’ Costumes – It’s the blood on the axe that really makes this. (Hat tip to Empress Pam)

Potions and Spells Cabinet Knobs – These attractive wooden drawer pulls would be fairly easy to DIY with decoupage.

Faeries, Etc. – Neat Tumblr thread about spooky local folklore.

Christopher Lee and Vincent Price – Price made an appearance for Lee’s “This is Your Life.” I love these two old ghouls.

Thanatology – The “ologies” podcast explores death and dying. (Hat tip to Bruno)

Werner’s Nomenclature of Colours – A 200-year-old guide to color has been digitized and put online.

Near Death Experience – Amusing ‘toon. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Callum, the Tanner’s Son – Cassandra Khaw has some excellent plot bunnies.

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Twinkle, Twinkle Little Link Dump

September 21st, 2018 by Cobwebs

Spider Web – This filtered photo is my new desktop background.

The Orphans Major Arcana Deck – Kickstarter for a tarot deck featuring spooky Victorian-esque children.

You Might Be the Killer: The Movie – One of Sam Sykes and Chuck Wendig’s epic Twitter conversations has been turned into a movie, which is a sentence that wouldn’t have made any sense ten years ago.

Vintage Bat Cross Stitch – Sadly, the links that this post references no longer work, but the image it includes is detailed enough to serve as a chart.

Bosch Costume – Someone made (and is selling) the “ice-skating bird” demon from Hieronymus Bosch’s Temptation of St. Anthony triptych, and it is delightful.

Giant Eurypterid Body Pillow – Who amongst us has not yearned to cuddle a giant plush aquatic chelicerate? Now’s your chance!

Halloween Stamped Cookies – I really like the icing wash on these; it makes them look oddly antique.

Gothic America – This set of illustrations detailing the creepy flavor of regional America is lovely.

A Proper Selection – This vintage cartoon of a bat is adorable. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Curious Forgotten Lore – Twitter account which pairs weird photos and video clips with amusingly creepy captions.

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Seen Online

September 18th, 2018 by Cobwebs

Why have we not had a Miss Marple/Lovecraft pastiche yet, dammit? “Oh dear…I’m afraid he WAS murdered, Inspector, but not quite like you mean. It reminds me of when young Percy tried summon the Ones Outside. One sees so much of life in a small town, you know.”

“I told his mother–she was so distraught, you know–that he should not have called up what he could not put down, but…well…you know how these things go, Inspector. But the roses in his mother’s garden were lovely for years after that. Positively glowing.”

UrsulaV

The humans acted scared of him, but Bat knew better.
They were his friends.
Each October they even put pictures of Bat up all over town.
ASmallFiction

“Hmmm, ah, yesofcourse. *single clap* That is superb. You, ah. HA! Yes, well.” – Jeff Goldblum orgasming.
seethenare

Your pet trilobite wanted to meet you, but never got the chance. Untold years ago, he fell asleep between two warm stones, imagining they were your hands, hoping he’d wake up in them.
ThePatanoiac

Math problem. I have three apples and am traveling towards you at 17mph. It’s not really a problem, more of a warning. Apple time, bitches.
vladchoc

Stop pretending that you’re not acquainted with that goat-headed demonlord in the corner.
It’s BaphoMET, not BaphoWE-DONT-KNOW-EACHOTHER.
JosephBrassey

DnD homebrew: Southern Gothic Adventure
-All warlocks have met their patrons at a dusty rural crossroads at midnight
-“The Devil Went Down To Georgia”? Acceptable canon bard origin story
-Druid forms include Alligator, Mockingbird
afterwits

me: I need to buy new stamps so I’m not sending out condolence cards with Disney villain stamps on them
friend: no one grieves like Gaston, acts bereaved like Gaston
me: how are you doing this
friend: no one orders ornate funeral wreaths like Gaston
readingtheend

In all the endless breathless fictionalized takes on Jack the Ripper, have we ever done the one where the reason he disappeared was because a team of vengeful Victorian sex workers systematically hunted him down, took him out and dumped his body in the Thames?
dmeconis

I’m so tired of waking up alone
I should be waking up on a cold glass slab after having my corpse revived in a future dystopia, the reek of antiseptic in the air as I vault over a lab bench and grab a scalpel from an unsuspecting attendant
spookperson

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All the President’s Link Dumps

September 14th, 2018 by Cobwebs

Attic Boxes – For her birthday, author Cassandra Khaw asked other Twitter users to write microfiction for their followers. @dtmooreeditor opened boxes in his “possibly haunted, certainly storied” attic. (Some other fun ones: @DianaSousaBooks provided D&D characters, @KBSpangler let everyone “learn what That Neighbor You Hate just bought at the too-spooky antique store!”, @EldritchGirl did custom monsters, @mossdogmusic described castles, and @UrsulaV gave everybody fictional heirloom vegetables.)

The Ward – Pilot for a Lovecraftian sitcom. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

What if “Thriller” Actually Happened – A Twitter thread of greatness.

Starter Witch Kits – Sephora will be selling “entry-level witch kits” beginning in October. While I applaud the head-‘splodiness that this will cause many a conservative Christian, it seems wrong on a number of levels.

Autumn Traditions – Sam Sykes and Chuck Wendig, again.

The Kite Maker – Interesting short story about the aftermath of an alien “invasion.”

Toilets with Threatening Auras – Twitter account devoted to toilets that would make you consider just peeing in a wastebasket. I think this one is my favorite.

Imagining a Holiday – Neat documentary on the annual Halloween makeover at Disney’s Haunted Mansion. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Father William – “You are old, Father William; you look almost dead, And your deeds are most fondly remembered, Yet your manservant’s body was found in your shed, Dispatched, disembowelled and dismembered.”

Bargain Bin Blasphemy – Pop album covers “upgraded” to black metal. I think Satan and Garfunkel is my favorite.

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Finian’s Link Dump

August 31st, 2018 by Cobwebs

myNoise – Site that lets you customize background noise. This post discusses some of the neat things it can do.

Rating Polearms – Marvelous Twitter thread which discusses “one of the delightful examples of humans figuring out all over the planet that one of the best ways to kill/deter someone is with a big thing at the end of a long stick. YAY!”

The Spookbox – Twitter account which shares “Halloween novelty songs, horror scores and other spooky tunes.”

Peter Talks to a Spider – Peter Parker chats with a spider pal.

The CrowBox – Build a “vending machine” for teaching wild crows simple tasks. BoingBoing has a little more background here.

@LittleCurses – Twitter account full of marvelous bite-sized horror stories.

DIY Snake Cake Stand – Easy tutorial for a good-looking cake stand. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Sheila Rayyan – Makes cute little ceramic monsters and monster-decorated dishware.

Heart-Shaped Teapots – Shellhawk’s Nest has a roundup of some eerily-realistic anatomical heart teapots by Richard Notkin.

Haunted Hotel – Yet another entertaining Twitter exchange between Sam Sykes and Chuck Wendig.

My Grandma the Poisoner – Interesting read about a woman who may have been killing her relatives with kindness.

Posted in Link Dump | 4 Comments »

Seen Online

August 28th, 2018 by Cobwebs

It’s weird that ppl interpret the moral of The Pied Piper story as “Don’t trust strangers” when really it’s “Always pay freelancers”
meagantrott

A guy kept yelling “young lady!” at me but I didn’t look up because I identify more as the 1,000 year old ghost of a ship captain.
chelsealockw00d

Foxes look like dogs, but they can’t interbreed because they are separate, distinct species. The only real giveaway is that, unlike dogs, foxes have vertical, catlike pupils. I guess what I’m trying to say is… for dogs… elves are real.
CryptoNature

One thing that bothers me about vampire novels is that vampires are essentially just very old people. They should act like it.

I want to see a sexy vampire who looks like they’re in their 20’s go on a rant about Woodrow Wilson while chewing hard candies.

JenAshleyWright

The thief tip-toed toward the dragon’s hoard, reached out, and picked up…
“What!” he exclaimed. “Cookies?”
The dragon looked over its shoulder. “Yes, I’m keeping them warm. Do you want one?”
“But… Why?”
“I was told they are much nicer when they are warm. Try one.”
MicroSFF

Imagine the disappointment of moving to a sleepy, idyllic New England town to start a new life, only to discover it doesn’t harbor any dark secrets.
Manglewood

fucken hate it when I try to eat a butterfly and its wing patterns resemble eyes so I’m warded off
aJasonWeight

PUBLISHER: So it’s got vampires?
BRAM STOKER: Yes.
PUBLISHER: Sex?
BRAM STOKER: Yes.
PUBLISHER: A lunatic asylum?
BRAM STOKER: Yes.
PUBLISHER: It needs something more.
BRAM STOKER: [scratches head] A… a cowboy?
PUBLISHER: Fucking sold.
BullenRoss

Keep others afraid of you by calling Fall “the harvest.”
DothTheDoth

Bruce Wayne didn’t become Batman until he was 30
It doesn’t matter how old you are
There’s still time for a full blown dramatic goth phase
grantpa

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