The Art of Darkness

The Yellow Link Dump of Texas

March 17th, 2018 by Cobwebs

Fright-Rags – Horror movie T-shirts and novelties.

Obituary – Although work on this cartoon seems to have faltered–the last blog post is from 2016–this Graveyard Book-esque pilot is cute.

Cultural Werewolf Divide – Amusing discussion about Old World vs. New World werewolves.

Werewolves and their “Time of the Month” – And speaking of werewolves, I want to read a book based on this idea.

Dracula: A Chamber Musical – Link to a download site where you can view this “fairly unknown (but successful) Canadian musical from the 90s.” (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Mermaid Babies – I have accepted this progression from “fish” to “mermaid” as headcanon.

Myrntai – Artist who draws lovely, creepy ink ravens and other creatures.

1 like = 1 cryptid I just made up – A Twitter thread of greatness. I especially like Old Mags.

The Sound of His Voice Like the Colour of Salt – Lovely, creepy short story about a houseful of ghosts.

The Moth Radio Hour – This episode of the podcast includes segments on Neil Gaiman and London’s Highgate Cemetery. (Hat tip to Bruno)

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Seen Online

March 13th, 2018 by Cobwebs

Me: sleep before the monsters get you
7: monsters aren’t real
M: you sound like your brother
7: brother?
M: I’ve said too much already

Some days you’re Prometheus chained to a rock doomed to have his liver torn out and eaten every day by an eagle, and some days you’re the bird who gets a convenient cliff snack

coffins : the ultimate and final ravioli

I’d be fine with a ghost in the house if every time a message in blood appeared on the wall it was something helpful like YOUR KEYS ARE IN THE FRONT DOOR.

The name ‘earthworm’ essentially suggests that there are worms from other planets that scientists haven’t told us about

me: look at this mass of crows! thousands of them! an ill omen
ornithologist: actually those are ravens. you can tell by the size of their bodies and the sounds they make
me: oh, so, not an ill omen?
ornithologist: oh no you’re super cursed either way

Be the reason why the lights flicker when you enter a room

imagining observational comedy in an urban fantasy world
vandroidhelsing (Note: This is the first in a thread. The rest are here.)

If you want to be remembered forever, have a destination funeral. Bahamas, swimming with the dolphins. Force your loved ones to watch from the beach as Flipper & friends knock your corpse around like a beach ball.

There was a pigeon staring at a puddle outside my home for about three hours. And I don’t know if he had nothing better to do or if I just witnessed an omen for a very low-level prophecy.

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

I am Joe’s Link Dump

March 9th, 2018 by Cobwebs

A Guide to the Hidden Language of Gifting Spooky Animals – “Magpies: I would commit civilized murders in your name.”

Sign in a Toy Store – There’s a horror story in here somewhere.

mysouldesign – Etsy shop specializing in lovely jewelry and accessories made of vintage fabric and beads, including spiders and human hearts. (Hat tip to Cat)

Tómarúm – Swedish photographer Christine Linde creates creepily atmospheric photos inspired by Scandinavian folklore.

Sirens – Emily Wilson, who recently did a modern translation of The Odyssey, has an interesting thread about her translation decisions regarding Odysseus’ encounter with the Sirens.

But then what does he eat? And how does he process it? – MetaFilter looks at centaur anatomy. (Hat tip to Bruno)

The City of Brass – Entertaining retelling of one of the stories from 1,001 Nights. There’s another story here.

Loch Ness Monster Stuffed Animal – Pattern and good tutorial for making a big felt Nessie to cuddle.

The Parasitological Museum of Meguro – There’s a museum in Japan devoted to parasites. I don’t recommend viewing these images if you’re snacking.

Passover Cocktails for Each of the Ten Plagues – I love that somebody took the effort to match drinks to plagues.

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All the World’s a Link Dump

March 2nd, 2018 by Cobwebs

The Secret Lives of the Nine Negro Teeth of George Washington – Lovely short work of speculative fiction.

One Bird’s Treasure – I like to think that crows use this kind of vocabulary.

The Sandman Universe – Neil Gaiman is launching a new Sandman imprint.

A Song About an Anglerfish – There should be more songs about anglerfish, tbh.

Addams Family Lego Mansion – You can vote to help make this prototype a reality.

The Call Girl of Cthulhu – This seems to be a comedy rather than porn, which seems like an almost criminal waste of a title.

Insanely Creepy Dolls – (Facebook link; sorry.) Small photo album of dolls that you’d rather not wake up to find standing next to your bed.

Concept – “That scene in every 90s high school movie where someone shows the new kid around the cafeteria (‘that table is the nerds, those are the jocks, the goths, the cheerleeders’ etc) except it’s a medieval tavern and each table has a different d&d class.” Heh.

Messed Up Things That May Have Happened in New Orleans History – A modest roundup.

#GlamourToads – A hashtag of very photogenic toads.

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Death is Not an Option

February 23rd, 2018 by Cobwebs

It’s time for another round of Death is Not an Option! The rules, as always, are simple: Given the choice of a pair of characters, you have to decide which one you’d rather sleep with; choosing death instead is not an option. This time it’s all science fiction.

The Star Trek Matchup
Reman   Salt Vampire
Reman vs. Salt Vampire

The Evil Replicant Matchup
T-X   Pris
T-X (Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines) vs. Pris (Blade Runner)

The Doctor Who Matchup
Weeping Angel   Monk
Weeping Angel vs. Monk

The Guys with “Emperor” in Their Title Matchup
Palpatine   Ming
Palpatine (The Empire Strikes Back) vs. Ming the Merciless (Flash Gordon)

The X-Men Matchup
Dr. Xavier   Magneto
Dr. Xavier vs. Magneto

The Badass Heroine Matchup
Trinity   Ripley
Trinity (The Matrix) vs. Ellen Ripley (Alien)

The Charming Rogue Matchup
Mal Reynolds   Han Solo
Mal Reynolds (Firefly) vs. Han Solo (Star Wars)

The Mad Scientists with Bad Hair Matchup
Doc Brown   Emilio Lizardo
Dr. Emmett Brown (Back to the Future) vs. Dr. Emilio Lizardo (Buckaroo Banzai)

The Mad Scientists with Better Hair Matchup
Dr. Horrible   Frank N. Furter
Dr. Horrible (Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog) vs. Dr. Frank N. Furter (The Rocky Horror Picture Show)

The Heroines Named Sarah Matchup
Sarah Manning   Sarah Connor
Sarah Manning(Orphan Black) vs. Sarah Connor (The Terminator)

Leave your choices in the comments. And remember…Death is not an option.

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 4 Comments »

The League of Extraordinary Link Dumps

February 16th, 2018 by Cobwebs

You Have Been Murdered By Clerks – The Medieval Death Bot’s explanation about why so many murders were by “clerks.”

Weeds – A lovely short comic about “A garden. And a curse.” The second half is here.

Let’s Make Halloween Pompoms – Yes, let’s. Instructions for making cute li’l ghosts, skulls, and eyeballs. These would be a great accent for a hat or sweater.

The Edible Museum – Chocolates shaped like fossils, creepily-realistic human hearts, toads, and other unusual shapes. (Hat tip to Cat)

Sylvia Plath – Lovely, thoughtful thread about the tragedy of Plath’s suicide.

The World’s Tiniest Dragon – The response to this writing prompt is adorable.

Man Redefines Horror By Building a Singing Furby Organ – If there isn’t some future Phantom of the Opera-type thing starring this organ, somebody is missing a bet. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Dark Galadriel – This method for creating “scale mail” armor with round sticker labels is brilliant.

Familiar Witchcraft – Kickstarter for enamel pins with a witchy aesthetic.

Spider Cupcakes – Easy-to-make cupcake topper idea.

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Seen Online

February 14th, 2018 by Cobwebs

me: *gets down on one knee*
girlfriend: omg, it’s finally happening
me: *falls over*
girlfriend: the poison is kicking in

Our dog Paddy brought our cat Felix into the house this evening and lovingly placed him in front of the fire. Yes, that was such a sweet thing to do…except for the fact that Felix was buried on Tuesday. Hence I am on the wine.

There’s a door that only ever appears when it rains. It’s only in one spot at any given time in the world. You’ll think your mind is playing tricks on you—it isn’t. It’s real. Find it.
Find me.

If someone is effortlessly happy in the morning, that’s a demon. You’re talking to a demon.

Hello, children, and welcome to Hogwarts.
Let us begin by asking a dead guy’s talking hat how many of you are evil.

I want a “Big Brother”-style show featuring famous historical mad scientists, just so I can have the scene where Victor Frankenstein looks at the camera and says “I’m not here to make… FRIENDS.”

When there’s an earthquake, coffins become huge underground maracas.

There was a storm brewing in the teacup. A tiny kraken, once desiccated in a magic war, woke among the leaves.
Honey calmed it, though.

Give me a supervillain whose origin story begins with them as a cashier until they eventually snap, you cowards.

Hey gang, Ozymandias here! Thanks as always for looking on my works, and if you liked what you saw don’t forget to click “Despair!”

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

Gulliver’s Link Dump

February 9th, 2018 by Cobwebs

Alfred E. Crowley – This made me giggle.

The Price – A proof-of-concept animation for Neil Gaiman’s short story.

Game of Thrones Wine – Wines “inspired” by the series. Fun for a viewing party.

Death and the Dog – If you can read this bittersweet little ‘toon without getting some “dust in your eyes” I don’t want to be your friend.

Ian Malcolm Amigurumi – This is spectacular.

Skull Tie-Dye Shirt – Tutorial for making a surprisingly detailed tie-dye skull T-shirt.

Fighting in Ballgowns – A really great thread on how to fight in a fancy dress.

Dead People Suck – An interview with comedian Laurie Kilmartin, who inadvertently live-tweeted her father’s death and wrote a “guide for survivors of the newly departed.”

Miss Monster – Cool custom masks and other items. I love this panther.

Tortured Candles – Super-easy idea for making creepy Hellraiser-esque candles.

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Seen Online

February 6th, 2018 by Cobwebs

the Lord is my shepherd, He shaves my entire body to make sweaters

Being an old-timey doctor would rule, just drunk as hell like “yeah u got ghosts in your blood, you should do cocaine about it”

It’s canon that Encyclopedia Brown died grappling with Bugs Meany above Reichenbach Falls.

After conducting massive sleep studies we realized dreams were constant based on date.
Every January 27th was a dream about an unrequited love.
April 19th: Death.
June 10th: Flight.
This discovery was one of the final breakthroughs in realizing our universe was a simulation.

I scream.
You scream.
We all scream.
This is a support group for banshees.

Before a dental appointment tuck a few small feathers inside your cheeks. When the dentist finds them, start purring.

reasons why skeletons are good:
-always smiling
-everyone has one (egalitarian)
-no meat (cruelty free)
-doing their best

in the following circumstances, do NOT eat the apple
– Snake with legs gave it to you
– Lobbed at you during wedding reception; gold
– Bicolored and offered by old woman bearing striking resemblance to ribbon-and-comb sellers

Tonight at work a creepy dude asked me “what’s your secret to staying so slim and perky?” I responded “I’m a thousand year old witch & every morning I bathe in the blood of men I’ve sacrificed” & an old lady nearby laughed; pretty sure this makes us an official coven

Dance like nobody’s watching. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Maintain pike intervals like there’s a maniple of legionaries charging who will close to sword range if you fuck up and give them an opening and then you, and all your battle brothers, are meat for the Roman beast.

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

The Link Dump of the Dawn Treader

February 2nd, 2018 by Cobwebs

“Superhero Plans” Insurance Coverage – A discussion of yet another pitfall of living in the Marvel universe.

How to Change: Your Duvet Cover – This Twitter thread is remarkably accurate.

The Ghost Stories We Tell Around Photon Fires – Evocative ghost story with a science fiction setting.

Dark Shadows Streaming on Amazon – The entire labyrinthine series is now available online.

Balanced Breakfast – I’d eat this cereal.

3,500 Occult Manuscripts Will Be Available Online – Author Dan Brown has made a donation to Amsterdam’s Ritman Library which will allow them to digitize thousands of obscure occult manuscripts and make them available free online. (Hat tip to Bruno)

Umberto Mulignano – Instagram feed for an artist who uses polymer clay to create gorgeous dragons and other fantastical creatures.

My Naym is Floof – An amusing LOTR riff on this.

Origin Story – Odd, melancholy little story about the last of the fairies, who works in a charnel house.

Knife Block – Amusing Twitter thread about the advantages of storing kitchen knives in a drawer.

Posted in Link Dump | 2 Comments »

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