The Art of Darkness

I Wandered Lonely As a Link Dump

September 13th, 2019 by Cobwebs

DrFaustusAU – This artist does amazing SF/horror art in the style of Dr. Seuss. I think If I Ran a Thuggee Cult might be my favorite.

BBC America Reveals Cast for The Watch – Casting has finally been announced for the first series of The Watch, based on the Discworld novels. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Skeleton Corpsing How-To – This nice DIY began with a skeleton/spider prop, but you could probably make your own from plastic skeleton parts.

Eye Pies – These little individual pies that stare back at you would be great as part of a Halloween party menu.

The Christmas Vampire – I heartily endorse this family tradition.

Skeleton Army – This sweet little ‘toon is just perfect.

Not a Mourning Person – Mug and spoon set featuring Disney’s Haunted Mansion gravedigger (and dog). The shovel-shaped spoon is delightful. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

John Grimshaw – Thread of fake “artifacts,” art, and general weirdness, including a really nice unicorn skull.

Here’s a Story About Changelings – Three sweet stories about non-neurotypical “fairies.”

Giant Edible Eyeballs – (Okay, technically, any eyeball is edible, but you know what I mean.) These are wonderfully squicky.

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The Link Dump of Monte Cristo

September 6th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Ouija Tour – A house tour of the chairman of the Talking Board Museum. That’s…that’s a lot of talking boards. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

How to Make a Pumpkin Head – Instructions to make a good-looking DIY papier-mache pumpkin for all of your Headless Horseman needs.

Cranberry Bogs – It’s the last paragraph that really makes this special. (Hat tip to pdq)

Gwendolyn Wood – Artist with some delightfully batshit repeating patterns like “opossums and roses” and “rats and peonies.” A few of her designs are also available as fabric.

Miskatonic High – Horror comic in which “five teens take on H.P. Lovecraft’s monsters and their small-town high school…they’re just not sure which is worse.” (Hat tip to xJane)

Please, Stop Printing Unicorns – A fictional “op-ed from the future” about bioprinters. Many of the comments play along with the premise and are worth a read.

Precious Mutants – I love a good thrift-store makeover, and these horrifying Precious Moments figurines are especially fine. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Mercedes McCambridge – This thread about the actress who played the voice of the devil in The Exorcist is fascinating.

A Leash of Foxes, Their Stories Like Barter – Short story by horror/fantasy writer Cassandra Khaw, who explains why she wrote it here.

Terrible Maps – Amusing novelty Twitter account which features things like, Map of Earth if there was no land and Map of Roman Air Bases in 2nd Century AD.

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A Murder of Link Dumps

August 30th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Famous Poems Rewritten as Limericks – I do like “The Raven” a lot.

Ugly Halloween Sweaters – I don’t know who could possibly call these gorgeous things “ugly.” I would wear the hell out of all of them.

Death is Annoyed – Amusing ‘toon.

Cobra Cake – Unlike a lot of decorated cakes, this snake made of Bundt sections and molded Rice Krispie treats seems achievable by mere mortals.

Romanov Costume Ball – These colorized photos from the 1903 Romanav fancy-dress party has some fantastic cosplay inspiration.

Cheese Graveyard – Super-easy idea for a Halloween party snack.

The Twisted Hatter – Several cool crochet hat designs, including a gorgeous kraken in Halloween colors.

American Gothic Venn Diagram – Southern vs. Midwest vs. Pacific Northwest.

vampires who adopt each other into very specific family roles – An amusing Tumblr thread about “chronological” age vs. “acts like” age.

Evolution – Not really goth, but a rather nice poem.

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A Link Dump Built for Two

August 23rd, 2019 by Cobwebs

The Babadook Pop-Up Book – The filmmakers have a kickstarter for a second edition printing of the pop-up book. (Hat tip to Bruno)

Allergic to Cats – I love this webtoon.

Spring-Heeled Jack – Wonderful sculpture of an underappreciated cryptid. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Vampire Masquerade Ball Gown – Look! Look at this gorgeous thing!

Siren School – Amusing ‘toon involving sirens learning to lure sailors to their doom.

Rib and Spine Costume – Really neat “costume” made of ribbon. I could see this being used as an accent for a dress.

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are About to Hunt Some Ghosts – Pegg and Frost will be doing a comedy series about paranormal investigators for Amazon Prime. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Trash Blessings – Lovely set of artwork based on the admirable characteristics of urban fauna we often see as undesirable.

The House Wins in the End – Nicely creepy short story about what happens after you survive a haunted house.

Astrology is Fake, But – This series is hilarious and I have never been so proud to be a Scorpio.

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Link Dump Written in a Country Churchyard

August 16th, 2019 by Cobwebs

The World’s Greatest Villain – I would definitely read a comic book series based on this response to a writing prompt.

Horror Movie Daycare – This short from College Humor is an oldie but a goodie.

a hypothetical d&d party – What happens after the fairytales end.

Knitted Brain – This anatomically correct human brain knitted by a psychiatrist is amazing.

Skeleton – A pleasantly creepy story by Ray Bradbury.

hamlet, act 1, sc. 5 – This made me cackle.

The Cremation of Sam McGee – An entertainingly dramatic reading of the Robert W. Service poem.

Ask Your Father – Amusing webtoon.

Monsters of the Month – Illustrations of various weird little monsters. I especially like the Scorpkin.

Swedish Funeral Candy – I think we should bring back the concept of “funeral favors” immediately.

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The Link Dump of the Ancient Mariner

August 9th, 2019 by Cobwebs

The Six Types of Middle-Earth Names – “this is what the fanbase means when we say tolkien was a creative genius with language”

We Aren’t the Doc Brown Species – I completely approve of this take on how aliens would view humans.

Fae Harry Potter – I really like this headcanon about how the Hogwarts houses came into being.

Fungus Cross-Stitch – This message is both terrifying and awesome.

True Facts About the Fruit Bat – One of zefrank’s excellently-researched documentaries. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Vampire and Friend – This little ‘toon is delightful.

Dark Mori – There’s a variant on Mori Girl fashion centered around dark colors. As someone in this Twitter thread commented, it’s essentially ComfortGoth.

Recipes with Stories – This short Twitter thread and responses are entertaining.

For He Can Creep – “A dark fantasy about Jeoffry, a cat who fights demons, a poet, who is Jeoffry’s human confined to an insane asylum, and Satan, who schemes to end the world.”

@calkearns – This artist draws wonderfully demonic versions of cartoon animals like Snoopy.

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The Link Dump of J. Alfred Prufrock

August 2nd, 2019 by Cobwebs

Monster Standup Comedy – Amusing webtoon.

Cowgoth – I am here for this new subculture.

Florida Gothic – A collection of nicely creepy ficlets. Sequels are here and here

Crowley Brown – A Good Omens take on this Peanuts cartoon. There’s a followup here.

A Cleric Who is the Team Mom – I need this in my next D&D campaign.

Storiarts – Clothing and accessories featuring the work of famous authors, including H.P. Lovecraft, Shakespeare, and Bram Stoker. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

New Wizard: Baboonist – A splendid idea for a new D&D character class. (As submitterator extraordinaire Bruno phrased it, “Like a necromancer, but tropical.”)

Gender of the Day – Novelty Twitter account which “lets us outsource our feelings about gender to a bot, which I think should free up a lot of mental space for other things.” Today’s gender is a gleeful, skeletal naga.

Vulture Appreciation – Everyone should love these guys.

Prank Candles – Scented candles which smell nice until they burn for a while, then turn unexpectedly stinky.

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A Link Dump From Nowhere

July 26th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Making Manuscripts – The British Library’s YouTube channel has a series of videos detailing traditional methods of making writing-related items such as oak gall ink, vellum, and quills. (via tywkiwdbi)

Junk Journals – Interesting DIY for making “goblin” journals. (Edit: The fabulous pdq noted that the original link had gone south; updated to the Wayback Machine’s capture.)

MadmanOddities – Etsy shop full of weird, creepy sculptures. Check out the Siren Head sculpture by the same artist. (Hat tip to Bruno)

Pumpkin Spice Latte Cupcakes – Just in case you can’t wait until autumn.

Women of Harry Potter – Great series of shorts that dig into the fictional backstories of various women in the Harry Potter books.

Wild Violet Cross Stitch – Lots of cute cross-stitch patterns, many with gothy themes.

“Haunted” Houses – Photos of gorgeous abandoned buildings. Someday I want to set up a consortium of like-minded goths to buy a place like this, restore it so it’s structurally sound but still decayed-looking, and turn it into a B&B. (Hat tip to pdq)

Spirellity – Custom plushies of things like slugs and toads, some cute sewing patterns, and assorted artwork.

Cuddle Bugs – These drawings of people and their giant insect pets are super cute.

Sexy Vampires – An amusing Key & Peele sketch. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Posted in Link Dump | 2 Comments »

Seen Online

July 23rd, 2019 by Cobwebs

There are two wolves inside you. One is Virginia Woolf. The other is Beowulf. You are an Introduction to English Literature syllabus.

Me: my dad left to get cigarettes 20 years ago
My dad: [opening door] I was doing side quests

my body is less of a “temple” and more of a rotting 19th century mansion rumored to be haunted by several wicked and vengeful spirits

Ladyhawke, except instead of being a hawk, Michelle Pfeiffer is a furious goose.
hayBEARS (The rest of the thread is pretty great too.)

Have found myself going “oh, there’s a nice piece of furniture” while watching What We Do In The Shadows and also Only Lovers Left Alive recently and I’m slowly coming to the realization that I have the interior decorating sense of a set dresser shopping for a vampire house

principal: we called your dad
me: fuck
principal: he didn’t answer
me: oh nice
principal: so we called your grandpa
me: but he’s been dead for years
principal: too bad
me: what’d he say
principal: grandpa’s comin
me: what
*a chill wind blows*
principal: grandpa’s comin

So I bought lemonade from these little girls’ lemonade stand and as I was leaving one of them yelled “You’re welcome for the lemonade and good luck fighting the dragon!” so now I’m slightly concerned about how the rest of my day is going to go

Food Network Gothic
• You must beat Bobby Flay. He could be anywhere. Under your bed, in your car, standing right behind your door. He’s biding his time. But when he reveals himself, you Must. Beat. Him.
• The Wontons, long forgotten, haunt your every waking moment. Sometimes you wake up at night to the faint sound of bubbling oil.
• Nobody really leaves Flavor Town.
• Iron Chef. Titanium Chef. Diamond Chef. Carbon Fiber Chef.
• In every dark space, you see the glowing outline of Alton Brown’s grin. You can’t tell what his intentions are.
• The Chairman somersaults through your dreams, cackling.

Concept: with the trend toward smaller family sizes in the modern era, certain prognostically significant genealogical configurations have gone from rare to practically nonexistent, to the point that incumbent destinies are increasingly obliged to take what they can get. So it is that our intrepid protagonist, as the only seventh daughter of a seventh daughter for several thousand miles in any direction, finds herself the simultaneous Chosen One of four unrelated and seemingly mutually exclusive prophesies.

[using Ouija board]
“yo Chad, can you hear us?”
“this is gonna take a while, Chad died in 1999.”

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

A Link Dump of Mars

July 19th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Embroidered Monster Waistcoat – These twee little monsters could be similarly embroidered on other articles of clothing.

Live-Action Warhammer 40K TV Series – Frank Spotnitz, who adapted The Man in the High Castle for TV, is helming a live-action TV show based around the character of Gregor Eisenhorn.

Monstrum – YouTube series by PBS which explores monsters, myths, and legends. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

We Sang You As Ours – Intriguing short story about an eldritch mermaid’s coming of age.

Bat Garter Belt – Cute li’l googly-eyed stocking suspenders.

Caverna do Dragão – This Brazilian Renault ad brings the mid-80s cartoon Dungeons & Dragons to life, and it is sort of brilliant. (Hat tip to Bruno, who also mentioned the MeFi comment, “Generally I expect product placements in movies, not the other way around.”)

Cement Orb – DIY for a neat garden feature that looks like an ancient artifact.

Enchanted Knitting Needles – An interesting writing prompt and response.

Witch Babies – I like this explanation of where new witches come from.

Herb Graveyard – Not everyone has access to a laser cutter, but something similar to these cute li’l tombstone plant markers could be made by hand.

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