The Art of Darkness

What Rough Link Dump

May 22nd, 2020 by Cobwebs

James and the Giant Peach, with Taika and Friends – Taika Waititi and celebrity guests are doing a ten-episode reading of the Roald Dahl book to support Partners in Health.

Dark Galadriel – This method for creating “scale mail” armor with round sticker labels is really ingenious.

Grim Grinning Ghosts – Disney’s “Dapper Dans” singers perform the Haunted Mansion’s “Grim Grinning Ghosts.” (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Tango Macabre – Free skeleton-themed TrueType font which, unlike many skeleton-themed fonts, has the advantage of actually being readable.

Peter Dinklage and Jason Momoa Are Teaming Up for a Vampire-Themed Buddy Comedy – [John Mulaney voice]: Now we don’t have time to unpack all of that.

Knox – Audio serial: “In 1930s Manhattan, a PI who can perceive horrific supernatural phenomena investigates a strange and sinister murder.” (Hat tip to Kitten Herder)

Nice Knockers – This Labyrinth-inspired cosplay is sort of brilliant.

Let’s Make Halloween Pompoms – Yes, let’s. Instructions for making cute li’l ghosts, skulls, and eyeballs. These would be a great accent for a hat or sweater. You could even make a brooch or earrings out of ’em.

DIY Spider Pumpkin – The glittery spiders would look cute on a brooch, too.

Paranormal Places Travel Patches – Kickstarter for patches celebrating places like Skinwalker Ranch and Loch Ness. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

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Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Link Dump

May 15th, 2020 by Cobwebs

HBO Hellraiser Series – A series based on the movie franchise is in development. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Marginalia Hero – A lovely game where you are a Medieval peasant fighting animals in a medieval bestiary, with art based on illuminations.

Photos of Adorable Bats – Sky puppies!

The Food Timeline – Really neat–but pretty western-centric–timeline of food history.

Jackalfruit – This is a D&D monster and you can’t convince me otherwise.

Labyrinth Knocker Earrings – Cute handmade earrings and pendants made in the shape of the door knockers from Labyrinth.

Graveyard Keeper – “Build and manage a medieval graveyard while facing ethical dilemmas and making questionable decisions.”

Shaun of the Dead Eats the Zombie Genre’s Brain – A look at how the movie is both a love letter to zombie films and also a kind of critique of the misanthropy at their heart.

Medusa – Free knitting pattern for a snakey cap.

A Virtual Tour of the Mütter Museum A video tour of the spectacular Mütter Museum of the College of Physicians in Philadelphia. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

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The Link Dump Around the Corner

May 1st, 2020 by Cobwebs

COVID-19 and Zombies – Interesting discussion about how the human reaction to a zombie outbreak in fiction differs from how it would work in reality. (Hat tip to Bruno)

Bad Seed Teevee – Nick Cave has launched a YouTube channel.

Build a Magical Moon Garden – Everyone needs a garden to wander gothily through at night. (Hat tip to xJane)

Help Transcribe Primary Documents – If you’ve got some time on your hands and enjoy looking at historical documents, you can help digitally transcribe them.

Tomb of Queen Meresankh III – Very cool virtual tour. (via Pixel Pixie)

Hamlet Monovlogues – Hamlet adaptation where Hamlet is a vlogger and all of his soliloquies are breakdowns he uploads to YouTube.

The Dungeons of Drezzar – Amazing miniature D&D dungeon built into a set of dresser drawers. (Hat tip to Bruno)

I Do the Rock – So…Tim Curry had a hit single in 1979. How ’bout that.

Museums hold Twitter showdown to find world’s creepiest exhibit – This is what the internet was made for. (Hat tip to xJane)

Make Your Own Bat Colony – A fun activity sheet.

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Seen Online

April 27th, 2020 by Cobwebs

Thesis: vampires are so melodramatic as a form of behavioural infosec. While their bewildering collections of odd mannerisms make it easy to clock them as vampires, they also make it extremely difficult to tell which of those mannerisms stem from some esoteric weakness or strange limitation on their vampire powers, and which are just them being extra.
prokopetz

You are only called Doctor if you are from the doctorate region of academia, otherwise it’s just sparkling nerd.
Constababble

Werewolf: *transforming* You have to go, now! I don’t want you to see me like this…
Human s/o: Don’t push me away! I’m not afraid of you!!
Werewolf: No no I’m just really dumb as a wolf and I don’t want you to see me bark at a mirror for two hours
mydearestmonster

SARUMAN (kneeling before a Palantir): What is thy will, Sauron, lord of Middle-Earth?
BURNING EYE: BUILD ME AN ARMY WORTHY OF-
MR. SNEEBLES: mew
BURNING EYE: WHAT IS THAT
SARUMAN: Forgive Mr. Sneebles, lord! I’ll move him.
BURNING EYE: NO, NO. I TOTALLY WANT TO SEE THE CAT
scottlynch78

“Open Mike Night” sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I’d been invited to an autopsy.
Diversion50

Advice podcast in a fantasy setting with questions like “I love my werewolf girlfriend but she has a fierce territorial dispute with the neighbour’s St Bernard. How can I let my girlfriend know I’m on her side and I love her but also let her know that I think she shouldn’t be arguing with a literal puppy without upsetting her”
dajo42

ME *traps wasp under a cup*
MAGICIAN GHOST WHO HAUNTS ME: *appears & sets down 2 more cups*
ME: no
MAGICIAN GHOST: *starts to shuffle them*
iamspacegirl

a “horror” movie about a demon baby, but the parents are chill with it and treat them normally.

“There’s a circle of fire on the front lawn” “Looks like it’s somebody’s naptime”

“Hon, the baby’s on the ceiling again.” “Hold on, i’ll get the broom”

“The baby’s speaking in strange tongues” “Raising children bilingually has so many benefits”

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

Of course I have body issues, I can’t turn into a fucking wolf.
DothTheDoth

Don’t let anyone tell you that collecting baseball cards or golf balls or stamps or wine corks is somehow more valid or acceptably grownup than collecting plush owls or swords or animal bones found in the woods or the souls of the dead. It’s not.
MageOfSolitude

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Notes on a Plague Mask

April 18th, 2020 by Cobwebs

So how about that global pandemic, huh? Didn’t see that one coming.

With widespread shortages of protective equipment, homemade masks have become a common DIY project. Having: a) A lot of time on my hands, and b) A truly staggering amount of scrap fabric*, I’ve been making a lot of masks for my community.** I’ve been using the instructions in Button Counter’s excellent tutorial, but I’ve streamlined the process a bit. With an assembly-line approach, you can turn out a metric assload*** of masks in a short amount of time.

Here are my notes on the basic instructions:

  • You can cut this all out with scissors, but a cutting mat and rotary cutter will make your life a zillion times easier. You should be able to stack fabric and cut out three or four masks at once.
  • The 14″ measurement of the main piece of fabric is the up/down direction, so if you use fabric with a directional pattern make sure that the 14″ side lines up with the fabric pattern.
  • The shorter measurement of the two smaller strips of fabric is supposed to be 1.75″, but 2″ is a lot easier to eyeball on a cutting mat and it doesn’t make any difference to the finished mask. Also the strips have to be at least 6″ long, but since you’re going to be cutting them down anyway they can be longer. Instead of cutting an 8″x14″ piece of fabric for the main part of the mask and then cutting two 6″x2″ strips separately, it’s faster to just cut an 8″x18″ piece of fabric and then cut two 8″x2″ strips off one end.
  • Instead of marking one pleat, folding it, and then marking the next pleat from that, mark these measurements starting at the bottom (the pressed seam) of the mask: 1.5″, 2.5″, 3″, 4″ 4.5″, 5.5″
  • There’s no real need to mark the pleats across the entire width of the mask, since they’re only basted at the edges. If you only mark the edges you can just use a pencil instead of a washable fabric pen because the markings will be hidden in the seams.
  • Instead of pinning the pleats, basting them, then pinning the elastic and basting it, pin the elastic in place after you pin the pleats and then just baste the whole thing once.

Good luck! And if you’re American, make sure you’re registered to vote and remember to vote blue in November. Because this :::gestures broadly::: is some bullshit.

 

*I was just using Halloween prints–because spiders and skulls are always in fashion–but since I expect I’ll be doing this for a while I decided to just lean into it and ordered some of this.

**Like employees at the local grocery store whose management wasn’t providing any. Information about how to unionize may or may not have been included in the package.

***0.67 imperial arseloads.

Posted in Doom It Yourself | 1 Comment »

Love in the Time of Link Dumps

April 17th, 2020 by Cobwebs

Special thanks in this link dump to Pixel Pixie, who submitted fully half of the content this week.

Wrecks of HMS Erebus and HMS Terror National Historic Site – As submitterator extraordinare Pixel Pixie put it, “Shipwrecks are totally goth, right?” They certainly are.

ASMR Videos – Pleasantly creepy ‘toon.

Five MORE Monster-Themed Restaurants to Die For! – A sequel to the roundup posted a couple of weeks ago. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Patchwork Plague Doctor Mask – Instructions for making a weirdly adorable mask.

Vampire Boyfriend – Hilarious collection of cartoons. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Reasons why I would be the worst main character in a horror movie – I sort of love the idea of stuff like this happening in a horror movie and the main character just shrugs.

Disney Haunted Mansion Rain & Thunderstorm – Ten hours of relaxing (haunted) thunderstorm sounds. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

This is my house. – Sweet little ficlet about a haunted house with new occupants.

Bargaining with the Fae – Amusing ‘toon.

Powers of Darkness – This “lost version of Dracula” is, as my favorite submitterator Pixel Pixie put it: “It boils down to the first Icelandic translator of Dracula decided to write erotic fan fic instead.”

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Last Link Dump on the Left

April 3rd, 2020 by Cobwebs

Manos: The Hands of Felt – Someone decided to do an all-muppet version of Manos: The Hands of Fate and I don’t know what to say about it. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

ASMR Ambient Atmosphere Mixes – (For your very specific needs.) Titles include “Haunted campout in a northern forest where strange beasts lurk in the distance and whispers of the unquiet dead keep you awake through the long dark night” and “Man has pleasant vanilla sex with a monster in cheap motel bed.”

Five Monster-Themed Restaurants to Die For – Road trip! (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Hallowedding Quilt – This gorgeous quilt was made as a gift for a Halloween wedding.

The Pestilence Doctor – Gorgeous stylized crow/plague doctor mask. (Hat tip to xJane)

Rejected Princesses – “Women too awesome, awful, or offbeat for kids’ movies.”

Skull Pop-Up Card – Free pattern and instructions for making a cute pop-up skull that would be perfect for greeting cards or party invitations.

Pandemic! – Useful information from the Eldritch Defense Force. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Call of Cthulhu Coloring Book – Chaosium has made this a free download.

Catacombes de Paris – The famous catacombs offer an online virtual visit. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

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The Link Dump in the Iron Mask

March 20th, 2020 by Cobwebs

Vampiros Vegetarianos – This portrait of vampires serenely feasting on vegetables is fantastic. I love how their hats/ears/headgear resemble long-eared bats. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Down to a Sunless Sea – Creepy short story by Neil Gaiman.

Angioletti Designs – Etsy shop full of teacups and dishes, many with creepy themes. I quite like the skull tea set.

Bat Cams – Nanananana…never mind. This bat sanctuary has several live cams.

The Masque of the Red Death – Poe’s short story, read by Christopher Lee. Not that it’s especially relevant right now, or anything like that. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

A Parade of Earthly Delights – The Netherlands had a Bosch-themed floating parade.

Laboratory Shot Glasses – These would be adorable for a mad scientist-themed party.

Dark Archives – An investigation into the science and history of books bound in human skin. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Wikipedia Horrors – A thread of creepy Wikipedia pages.

The Two of Us – Boris Karloff and Vincent Price sing on The Red Skelton Hour. It is glorious. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Posted in Link Dump | 2 Comments »

The Link Dump Zone

March 13th, 2020 by Cobwebs

D&D Cookie Cutters – This cute set of cutters comes with a D20, a Beholder, and several others. (Hat tip to Empress Pam)

Black Flowers Blossom – Fiction described by the author as a, “reverse-Lovecraft NSFW monsterfucker novelette.”

Neverending Story Planter Gnomes – Relieve your childhood trauma all over your houseplants!

Horror for Kids – Neat little ‘toon about why some kids like to read scary stories, and why you should let them.

Sexiest Haunted Hotels – I have questions.

Do You Know Darkness? – Kickstarter for what amounts to Goth Trivial Pursuit. (Hat tip to Bruno)

The Brides – Gina Torres is set to star in a TV series about three women who were turned by Dracula, now living in the modern world.

Find Your Astrological Demon – A book of Persian mysticism associates demons with astrological signs. I’m quite pleased with Scorpio. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Mini Apothecary – This altered Altoids tin stuffed full of potions is just adorable.

Circus Girl, The Hunter, and Mirror Boy – Short fiction. “As an orphaned sixteen-year-old, Lynette was haunted by the ghost of Mirror Boy, the drowned child who replaced her reflection. Ten years later, she’s built herself a new life, but all that is threatened when Mirror Boy returns, warning of danger. A hunter has come for both of them, and unless Lynette can figure out what’s going on, they will both perish.”

Posted in Link Dump | 3 Comments »

Seen Online

March 10th, 2020 by Cobwebs

Every time I see ants in my rubber plant, I whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled.”
KBSpangler

Dating in your 30s should be more fun which is why when I have a one night stand, I write “Croatan” on their bathroom mirror in lipstick before I bounce.
valhallabckgirl

FUCK conversation starters, we only use conversation STOPPERS in this house! “Oh hi, how was your day?” “I’d peg Michael Myers.” BOOM! Conversation, dead in a flash!
weaver-z

The only beach body advice I need is how deep to dig so high tide won’t lead to the world discovering my gruesome secret.
HillaryMonahan

“Yo WHAT UP, it’s ya boi Anubis, back at it again with another soul unboxing video.

Now as you can see, this one is a little heavier than a feather, which longtime fans of the channel will know is REALLY bad, haha”

WritNelson

ghost character that goes “oooooh” and rattles chains, and eventually we see a flashback to when they were alive and constantly went “ooooooh” and rattled chains, surrounded by regular people at the office
baking-accident

The reason vampires can’t see themselves in mirrors is not because they lack reflections.
They simply do not pass the mirror test and each time a vampire catches sight of themself in a mirror they go into a territorial attack mode and try to fight that other dracula encroaching on their lair.
glumshoe

an apocalyptic cult prophetically warning that the world won’t end, ever

it’s just going to keep going on like this, groans dismal prophet

argumate

Gandalf: yo i’m back from isengard had to ride a fucken eagle to get here what’s up
Elrond: the ring must be destroyed
Frodo: i’ll carry it
Gandalf: oh damn that’s a long ass walk dude i hope you have comfy shoes
Frodo: wait didn’t you say you rode an eagle here
Gandalf: no
nyquills

Me: When one door closes, another one opens.
House guest: That’s such a nice perspecti-
Me: Yep it’s haunted. The whole thing. Just so fucking haunted.
ronnui_

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 2 Comments »

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