The Art of Darkness

I’ve Always Hated This Ad

February 8th, 2010 by Cobwebs

This is an advertisement for K-fee, a German energy drink, which built an entire campaign around the slogan “you’ve never been so wide awake.” It made the jump to e-mail a few years ago, with text claiming that it was an unaired BMW promotional video which included–if you paid close attention–a faint mist that was supposed to be a ghost or something. What actually happens, of course, is that you peer intently at the screen and then the monster leaps out at the end and scares the everlivinghell out of you.

The reason I hate this ad is because, even though I know that damn monster is going to appear at the end, it still makes me jump Every. Single. Time. I’m telling you right now, there’s a scary leapy thing at the end of this advertisement, and if you watch it you will be startled. (I’ll also point out that even without the German text at the end I would immediately know this was a foreign ad, because if this aired in the U.S. we’d have ravening packs of lawyers circling like sharks and fighting over who got to file the first heart-attack lawsuit.)

There were actually several similar ads made by the company. This video compiles them all for your delectation.

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Small Housekeeping Post

February 7th, 2010 by Cobwebs

I’ve seen some peculiar fake user registrations crop up recently, and in the past couple of weeks they’ve become frequent enough to trip my Annoyance Threshold. I’ve temporarily turned off user registration until whatever ‘bot is doing it decides to go elsewhere.

It shouldn’t affect anyone’s ability to comment, since registration isn’t required for that. If you’re a real person and wish to register for the site, drop me a line and I’ll add you manually.

Spammers. We hates them forever.

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Another Fine Link Dump

February 5th, 2010 by Cobwebs

Closet Sachets – Tutorial for making pretty cloth sachets that look like moths. Not terribly goth, but you could turn your moths into the Death’s Head variety, or make them bats instead.

Steampunk – Good overview of the genre.

Stop Sentimental Vamps – I love the graphic design (not to mention the sentiment) of this print.

Gift Idea for Delightfully Demented People – A guest blogger at BoingBoing is turning his guest bathroom into a chamber of horrors. He offers some tips on buying good-looking replica shrunken heads.

Skeleton Hoodie – Very cool hoodie made by discharge printing with bleach.

Two by the same author: Pop-Up Book of Phobias and the Pop-Up Book of Nightmares – These are wonderfully macabre and gorgeously illustrated pop-up books for adults. Even if you don’t have a fear of clowns, you might after seeing the pop-up version.

The Vampire Seduction Handbook – Find a vampire of your very own to love and keep and (optionally) call George.

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Dia de Los Muertos Embroidery

February 4th, 2010 by Cobwebs

GypsyCheck out this gorgeous thing made by Craftster member BeatnikChick. The design is based on a gypsy-themed tattoo, and it’s just stunning.

She doesn’t offer a pattern, but she does have a couple of links to bigger photos on Flickr which might provide enough detail for the stitch-crafty amongst us to try something similar. And, of course, you can always ask your favorite tattoo artist for permission to copy their patterns.

Incidentally, I’m thinking that this gypsy-skull thing would also make a dynamite Halloween costume.

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Alice-inspired Eye Shadow

February 3rd, 2010 by Cobwebs

Alice ShadowsDisney and Urban Decay are two great tastes that…have nothing to do with each other, usually. But they’ve teamed up to design a “book of shadows” to promote the new Alice in Wonderland movie.

The carrying case includes a mirror with a hallucinogenic scene of Alice amongst the mushrooms, and the eyeshadows have names like White Rabbit, Jabberwocky, and Oraculum. Since Urban Decay shadows usually sell for $16 apiece, $52 for 16 (plus primer potion and two eye pencils) is kind of a steal.

Link (via We Covet)

Posted in Needful Things | 2 Comments »

Gloomy Bear

February 2nd, 2010 by Cobwebs

Gloomy Bear PlushHere’s a little critter that’s perfect for the perkygoth. Graphic designer Mori Chack developed Gloomy Bear as the antithesis of the excessively cute characters peddled by Sanrio and Disney. He describes it as a 2 meter tall, violent, pink bear that eats humans (its human “friend” is covered with cuts and bruises).

The list of Gloomy Bear products is surprisingly diverse, including all kinds of plush (like the vampire bear shown here), hats, keychains (with extra blood), mittens, and much else.

I think the product line is too extensive for this to really be considered ironic any more, but bloody fanged accessories still beat fluffy cute ones.

(Hat tip to Kitten Herder)

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Jack the Quilter

February 1st, 2010 by Cobwebs

Jack the Quilter

I heart Para Abnormal.

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

The Link Dump of Notre Dame

January 29th, 2010 by Cobwebs

Two Gorgeous Cakes – This post is mainly about a lovely steampunk-themed wedding cake, but the last photo is a “gothic” cake that is simply phenomenal.

Play With Me – Click on the glowing objects to make the doll do increasingly creepy things.

Top 15 Dead and Undead Comic Heroes and Villains – A list from Topless Robot. Good fodder for a costume party.

A Softer World – The text for this webcomic would be a wonderfully gothy marriage proposal.

Zombie Bite Calculator – Answer a few questions and see how long it would take you to succumb to a zombie bite. I’d last slightly over an hour.

Tom Riddler’s (sic) Magical Diary – Pandora chatbot that mimics the diary in Harry Potter.

Boozecats – It’s a bad idea to post online photos of yourself with alcohol, lest employers or parents find them. The solution? Replace the drink with a cat. Brilliant!

Lovecraft Online – Extensive collection of H.P. Lovecraft’s works in electronic format.

Boogie Man Rug – Hello, enormous therapy bills.

Cranioklepty – A treatise on skull collecting, particularly the skulls of famous people. See also this article on the sale of Beethoven’s skull. (Hat tip to chas)

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The Zombible

January 28th, 2010 by Cobwebs

Zombible LogoThere are things in the wilds of the Intarwebs that make you quizzically cock your head to one side like a dog hearing a high-pitched whistle, and this is one of them.

The Zombible (“Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Zombies”) dares to ask the question, “How might the Gospels have been different if Jesus had come to Earth not to save mankind from sin, but from zombies?” And then it rewrites the contents of the four gospels by way of an answer.

It’s subtle; the prose uses the King James style of writing, and if you just skim it you might not notice anything amiss. But if you read a bit more closely, you notice things like this part of the Parable of the Prodigal Son:

7 And when he came to himself, he thought, How many hired servants has my father spare, and I moan with hunger! 8 I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Brains, 9 and call upon his hired servants.

10 And he arose, and shambled to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell, and ran, and kissed him.

11 And the son said unto him, Brains.

The authors state that this is their first work, so they may intend to rewrite the entire New Testament to reflect Jesus’ new mission. It’d be amusing to quote a verse here and there, insisting that they’re legitimate.

(via Pharyngula)

Posted in Funny Peculiar | No Comments »

Valentine Cards at Wondermark

January 27th, 2010 by Cobwebs

Wondermark’s greeting cards have long amused me (I like this one in particular), and they’ve just released a series of offbeat Valentine cards that are perfect for the likes of us. The Victorian-esque imagery and peculiar messages are just the thing to make your intended’s heart go pit-a-pat.

I think the sentiment expressed in the card below is appropriate at any time of year.

Bear

Posted in Needful Things | 2 Comments »

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