The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

October 15th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Bard: “What’s all this?”
Paladin: “The druid is in time-out.”
Bard: “What’d you do?”
Druid: “I was selling a gluten-free organic all-natural weight-loss thing.”
Bard: “And?”
Druid: “It was just hungry wolves. Lots of ’em.”
Paladin: “DO NOT GIGGLE AT THE DRUID’S ATROCITIES.”
boomer_kid

No one ever talks about how an oubliette implies the existence of a larger, and far more terrifying, oobly.
Brainmage

[job interview]
interviewer: so god killed all your kids?
job: that’s right
DanMentos

Zdzisław Beksiński: So first I’ll paint some happy little trees
Beksiński: maybe a little bush
Beksiński: now a crumbling gothic cathedral covered in a pulsing web of arteries
Beksiński: you know, whatever makes you happy
midnight_pals

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted
I don’t get it. I’ve lived here for 273 years and not noticed anything strange.
badjokesbyjeff

The fandom surrounding Pennywise as a character feels really weird considering Pennywise does not exist whatsoever in-canon and is only one of many, many illusory avatars invented on the fly by the Deadlights to eat people with. Yall think you’re thirsty for a baby eating clown but really just want to bang an alien’s novelty chopstick collection.
bogleech

every morning our cat moves her toys from the bedroom to the living room while screaming, and every night she moves them back, also while screaming. i don’t know the purpose of the ritual but it is the central pillar of my faith
paranaturalzack

WIZARD: demon I have summoned you to instruct me in the carnal arts
SUCCUBUS: *hands textbook* turn to page 23
[5 HOURS LATER]
SUCCUBUS: and that covers STDs, bringing us to protection. do you still have the ritual banana I gave you?
WIZARD: ☹️ yes
deathbybadger

[Lord Byron after Percey Shelley died]
hey guys
you think maybe I could keep his skull?
just as a keepsake
not going to do anything weird with it like turn it into a goblet or something
oh these? yea ok yes these are my skull goblets, from a totally unrelated thing
DanaSchwartzzz

i wish dwarves were real just because the folk metal they would produce would be completely unfathomable
tripropellant

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A Link Dump Grows in Brooklyn

October 11th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Squirming Mommy Munchers – One of Bogleech’s wonderful Weird Biology series, this one about caecilians.

BareBumShop – Etsy shop specializing in soap and bath bombs, many of them with spooky themes.

ao3 tags – A delightful Twitter account that logs interesting tags from Archive of Our Own works. I especially like, “non-consensual knife play, also known as stabbing,” “Slightly canon compliant if canon had a demon tossed into it,” and “let perry the platypus say fuck.”

Christmas with Krampus – Kickstarter for Krampus-themed wrapping paper, ornaments, and greeting cards.

The Fisher of Bones – Sarah Gailey’s novelette is available for free online.

Death of the Firstborn Egyptians – A cute animation and catchy tune about one of the Biblical plagues. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie, who finds the best stuff)

The Best Places Around the World to See Bats (by the Millions) – I am all in for bat tourism.

20 Years Later, and the Women of Angel Still Deserve More – “The deaths of Darla, Fred, and Cordelia Chase were a waste.” Damn straight, they were.

31 Days ‘Til Halloween – After a long absence, Dave Lowe is blogging again and is counting down the days to Halloween with spooky sketches.

Calamityware Now What? Series – Calamityware has a kickstarter for a new set of designs. (Hat tip to Bruno)

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Abbott & Costello Meet the Link Dump

October 4th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Nightmare Service Dogs – I love this sweet little illustration.

Modern Monster Mash – An update of the perennial favorite, with newer horror characters. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Chicken Familiar – A scholarly dissertation on which breed of chicken would make the best Therapy Chicken for a wizard.

Our Fake History – “A podcast about myths we think are history and history that might be hidden in myths!” (Hat tip to Bruno)

Short Story Suggestions – Horror writer Cassandra Khaw has a thread of recommended short stories, all of which are excellent.

Calaveras Mittens – Knitting pattern for great-looking skully mittens. I especially love the design on the thumbs.

Absinthe Thread – @spookperson tweets about her adventures in making homemade absinthe.

The God of War – A great response to a writing prompt.

Vampire Pumpkins – This ‘toon about a Serbian superstition puts The Great Pumpkin in a whole new light.

Hex the Patriarchy – Attractive T-shirt with an inspiring message. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

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An Exaltation of Link Dumps

September 27th, 2019 by Cobwebs

TKC Cozy Pawz – Etsy shop specializing in pet costumes. I think the tarantula might be my favorite.

Spooky Hugs! – This short animation about a trick-or-treating ghost is almost disgustingly wholesome. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

The Graveyard – A cocktail I found when I was googling “the graveyard book” and hit the wrong autosuggest link. It sounds horrifying.

We Have Always Lived in the Castle is on Netflix – And @vandroidhelsing does a short liveblog.

Halloween Treats and Dessert Recipes – A roundup of party sweets.

Houses with Chicken Legs – Adorable little ‘toon.

The Poirot Murders – An exercise in reframing Hercule Poirot as the actual murderer in his mysteries. (Hat tip to Bruno, who sent this link with the comment, “that rpg blog is at it again”)

The amount of times I could have been that white girl in the horror movie – This thread is hilarious.

I’m Engaged – This may be the best way to turn down pushy men who want a woman’s number that I’ve ever seen.

Greek Mythology – An amusing Tumblr collection. (The “kerberos” bit is wrong, but we’ll ignore that because it’s funny.)

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Blood and Link Dumps

September 20th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Good Omens Holiday Exchange – A Secret Santa-type exchange, where the gifts are fiction or artwork.

Human Choice Cuts – This “butcher’s guide” poster for how to do cannibalism right is delightful. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Pristine – A webcomic about tattoos.

BirdArtBulgaria – Etsy shop full of cosplay masks, helmets, and other goodies.

D1sarmon1a – Some gorgeous lipstick/lip art designs. I especially love the li’l bats.

Staked Heart Hand Pies – Cute idea for a Halloween party.

Shaun Keenan – This artist has created a series of “Dinosaurs of the Wild West” that are just wonderfully evocative. I especially like the undertaker’s “helper.” (The main link is to a Tumblr post about his work instead of his actual site because the site isn’t user-friendly.)

The Night – Toni “Hey Mickey” Basil performs in “cult vampire” film Rockula. I…don’t even know where to start with this. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

The Far Side Website is Updated – For the first time in over 20 years, Gary Larson’s site has been updated with new art and a “coming soon” message. Oh please, oh please….

Hellmouth – A crossover comic will bring Buffy and Angel back together.

Posted in Link Dump | 1 Comment »

Seen Online

September 17th, 2019 by Cobwebs

If you have scissors for hands, you could probably just introduce yourself as Edward, and let people figure the rest out on their own
GloriaFallon123

Just imagine if giraffe necks started out short and made the lightsaber-on sound when they extended them.
dorsalstream

It’s only fanfic if it’s from the Fanfique region of France. Otherwise it’s just sparkling pornography.
copperbadge

REMEMBER
If you encounter a goth in this hot weather DO NOT PICK THEM UP
Instead, put a couple of drops of patchouli oil in a teaspoon of water and leave a Bauhaus album next to them, and they should recover pretty quickly
Brainmage

According to Greek Mythology, Chiron was a half horse, half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
MelindaHoward4

IS YOUR CHILD TEXTING ABOUT EDGAR ALLAN POE?
WCW = wine cellar wednesday
ILU = I love unnamed (narrators)
TFW = the floorboards? well
IANAL = I am not annabel lee
LOL = lover of lenore
STFU = sadly, the fall (of) usher
OMW = (an) orangutan murdered (the) women
NVM = nevermore
SparkNotes

women are heartily tired of generic compliments. tell your girl “you’ll make a fine crime-solving old lady” and “how many princes have you slain, Baba Yaga” and “time will make corpses of us all and I think that’s hot.”
SketchesbyBoze

ME: So you see dead people?
GHOST THERAPIST: Those with insurance, yes.
dorsalstream

i love coming home at the end of the day and untying the ribbon around my neck that holds my head on
mmilhouse

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I Wandered Lonely As a Link Dump

September 13th, 2019 by Cobwebs

DrFaustusAU – This artist does amazing SF/horror art in the style of Dr. Seuss. I think If I Ran a Thuggee Cult might be my favorite.

BBC America Reveals Cast for The Watch – Casting has finally been announced for the first series of The Watch, based on the Discworld novels. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Skeleton Corpsing How-To – This nice DIY began with a skeleton/spider prop, but you could probably make your own from plastic skeleton parts.

Eye Pies – These little individual pies that stare back at you would be great as part of a Halloween party menu.

The Christmas Vampire – I heartily endorse this family tradition.

Skeleton Army – This sweet little ‘toon is just perfect.

Not a Mourning Person – Mug and spoon set featuring Disney’s Haunted Mansion gravedigger (and dog). The shovel-shaped spoon is delightful. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

John Grimshaw – Thread of fake “artifacts,” art, and general weirdness, including a really nice unicorn skull.

Here’s a Story About Changelings – Three sweet stories about non-neurotypical “fairies.”

Giant Edible Eyeballs – (Okay, technically, any eyeball is edible, but you know what I mean.) These are wonderfully squicky.

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The Link Dump of Monte Cristo

September 6th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Ouija Tour – A house tour of the chairman of the Talking Board Museum. That’s…that’s a lot of talking boards. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

How to Make a Pumpkin Head – Instructions to make a good-looking DIY papier-mache pumpkin for all of your Headless Horseman needs.

Cranberry Bogs – It’s the last paragraph that really makes this special. (Hat tip to pdq)

Gwendolyn Wood – Artist with some delightfully batshit repeating patterns like “opossums and roses” and “rats and peonies.” A few of her designs are also available as fabric.

Miskatonic High – Horror comic in which “five teens take on H.P. Lovecraft’s monsters and their small-town high school…they’re just not sure which is worse.” (Hat tip to xJane)

Please, Stop Printing Unicorns – A fictional “op-ed from the future” about bioprinters. Many of the comments play along with the premise and are worth a read.

Precious Mutants – I love a good thrift-store makeover, and these horrifying Precious Moments figurines are especially fine. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Mercedes McCambridge – This thread about the actress who played the voice of the devil in The Exorcist is fascinating.

A Leash of Foxes, Their Stories Like Barter – Short story by horror/fantasy writer Cassandra Khaw, who explains why she wrote it here.

Terrible Maps – Amusing novelty Twitter account which features things like, Map of Earth if there was no land and Map of Roman Air Bases in 2nd Century AD.

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A Murder of Link Dumps

August 30th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Famous Poems Rewritten as Limericks – I do like “The Raven” a lot.

Ugly Halloween Sweaters – I don’t know who could possibly call these gorgeous things “ugly.” I would wear the hell out of all of them.

Death is Annoyed – Amusing ‘toon.

Cobra Cake – Unlike a lot of decorated cakes, this snake made of Bundt sections and molded Rice Krispie treats seems achievable by mere mortals.

Romanov Costume Ball – These colorized photos from the 1903 Romanav fancy-dress party has some fantastic cosplay inspiration.

Cheese Graveyard – Super-easy idea for a Halloween party snack.

The Twisted Hatter – Several cool crochet hat designs, including a gorgeous kraken in Halloween colors.

American Gothic Venn Diagram – Southern vs. Midwest vs. Pacific Northwest.

vampires who adopt each other into very specific family roles – An amusing Tumblr thread about “chronological” age vs. “acts like” age.

Evolution – Not really goth, but a rather nice poem.

Posted in Link Dump | 4 Comments »

A Link Dump Built for Two

August 23rd, 2019 by Cobwebs

The Babadook Pop-Up Book – The filmmakers have a kickstarter for a second edition printing of the pop-up book. (Hat tip to Bruno)

Allergic to Cats – I love this webtoon.

Spring-Heeled Jack – Wonderful sculpture of an underappreciated cryptid. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Vampire Masquerade Ball Gown – Look! Look at this gorgeous thing!

Siren School – Amusing ‘toon involving sirens learning to lure sailors to their doom.

Rib and Spine Costume – Really neat “costume” made of ribbon. I could see this being used as an accent for a dress.

Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are About to Hunt Some Ghosts – Pegg and Frost will be doing a comedy series about paranormal investigators for Amazon Prime. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Trash Blessings – Lovely set of artwork based on the admirable characteristics of urban fauna we often see as undesirable.

The House Wins in the End – Nicely creepy short story about what happens after you survive a haunted house.

Astrology is Fake, But – This series is hilarious and I have never been so proud to be a Scorpio.

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