The Art of Darkness

Last Link Dump on the Left

April 3rd, 2020 by Cobwebs

Manos: The Hands of Felt – Someone decided to do an all-muppet version of Manos: The Hands of Fate and I don’t know what to say about it. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

ASMR Ambient Atmosphere Mixes – (For your very specific needs.) Titles include “Haunted campout in a northern forest where strange beasts lurk in the distance and whispers of the unquiet dead keep you awake through the long dark night” and “Man has pleasant vanilla sex with a monster in cheap motel bed.”

Five Monster-Themed Restaurants to Die For – Road trip! (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Hallowedding Quilt – This gorgeous quilt was made as a gift for a Halloween wedding.

The Pestilence Doctor – Gorgeous stylized crow/plague doctor mask. (Hat tip to xJane)

Rejected Princesses – “Women too awesome, awful, or offbeat for kids’ movies.”

Skull Pop-Up Card – Free pattern and instructions for making a cute pop-up skull that would be perfect for greeting cards or party invitations.

Pandemic! – Useful information from the Eldritch Defense Force. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Call of Cthulhu Coloring Book – Chaosium has made this a free download.

Catacombes de Paris – The famous catacombs offer an online virtual visit. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

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The Link Dump in the Iron Mask

March 20th, 2020 by Cobwebs

Vampiros Vegetarianos – This portrait of vampires serenely feasting on vegetables is fantastic. I love how their hats/ears/headgear resemble long-eared bats. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Down to a Sunless Sea – Creepy short story by Neil Gaiman.

Angioletti Designs – Etsy shop full of teacups and dishes, many with creepy themes. I quite like the skull tea set.

Bat Cams – Nanananana…never mind. This bat sanctuary has several live cams.

The Masque of the Red Death – Poe’s short story, read by Christopher Lee. Not that it’s especially relevant right now, or anything like that. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

A Parade of Earthly Delights – The Netherlands had a Bosch-themed floating parade.

Laboratory Shot Glasses – These would be adorable for a mad scientist-themed party.

Dark Archives – An investigation into the science and history of books bound in human skin. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Wikipedia Horrors – A thread of creepy Wikipedia pages.

The Two of Us – Boris Karloff and Vincent Price sing on The Red Skelton Hour. It is glorious. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

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The Link Dump Zone

March 13th, 2020 by Cobwebs

D&D Cookie Cutters – This cute set of cutters comes with a D20, a Beholder, and several others. (Hat tip to Empress Pam)

Black Flowers Blossom – Fiction described by the author as a, “reverse-Lovecraft NSFW monsterfucker novelette.”

Neverending Story Planter Gnomes – Relieve your childhood trauma all over your houseplants!

Horror for Kids – Neat little ‘toon about why some kids like to read scary stories, and why you should let them.

Sexiest Haunted Hotels – I have questions.

Do You Know Darkness? – Kickstarter for what amounts to Goth Trivial Pursuit. (Hat tip to Bruno)

The Brides – Gina Torres is set to star in a TV series about three women who were turned by Dracula, now living in the modern world.

Find Your Astrological Demon – A book of Persian mysticism associates demons with astrological signs. I’m quite pleased with Scorpio. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Mini Apothecary – This altered Altoids tin stuffed full of potions is just adorable.

Circus Girl, The Hunter, and Mirror Boy – Short fiction. “As an orphaned sixteen-year-old, Lynette was haunted by the ghost of Mirror Boy, the drowned child who replaced her reflection. Ten years later, she’s built herself a new life, but all that is threatened when Mirror Boy returns, warning of danger. A hunter has come for both of them, and unless Lynette can figure out what’s going on, they will both perish.”

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Seen Online

March 10th, 2020 by Cobwebs

Every time I see ants in my rubber plant, I whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled.”
KBSpangler

Dating in your 30s should be more fun which is why when I have a one night stand, I write “Croatan” on their bathroom mirror in lipstick before I bounce.
valhallabckgirl

FUCK conversation starters, we only use conversation STOPPERS in this house! “Oh hi, how was your day?” “I’d peg Michael Myers.” BOOM! Conversation, dead in a flash!
weaver-z

The only beach body advice I need is how deep to dig so high tide won’t lead to the world discovering my gruesome secret.
HillaryMonahan

“Yo WHAT UP, it’s ya boi Anubis, back at it again with another soul unboxing video.

Now as you can see, this one is a little heavier than a feather, which longtime fans of the channel will know is REALLY bad, haha”

WritNelson

ghost character that goes “oooooh” and rattles chains, and eventually we see a flashback to when they were alive and constantly went “ooooooh” and rattled chains, surrounded by regular people at the office
baking-accident

The reason vampires can’t see themselves in mirrors is not because they lack reflections.
They simply do not pass the mirror test and each time a vampire catches sight of themself in a mirror they go into a territorial attack mode and try to fight that other dracula encroaching on their lair.
glumshoe

an apocalyptic cult prophetically warning that the world won’t end, ever

it’s just going to keep going on like this, groans dismal prophet

argumate

Gandalf: yo i’m back from isengard had to ride a fucken eagle to get here what’s up
Elrond: the ring must be destroyed
Frodo: i’ll carry it
Gandalf: oh damn that’s a long ass walk dude i hope you have comfy shoes
Frodo: wait didn’t you say you rode an eagle here
Gandalf: no
nyquills

Me: When one door closes, another one opens.
House guest: That’s such a nice perspecti-
Me: Yep it’s haunted. The whole thing. Just so fucking haunted.
ronnui_

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The Call of the Link Dump

March 6th, 2020 by Cobwebs

Wanderlust and What You Could Become – A lovely, fairy tale-like ‘toon.

Leviathan – Ark of the Apocalypse – Sculpture of a ghostly pirate ship made with found materials.

Rat King Color Wheel – This is a really striking print.

Abandoned Dollhouses – Gorgeously-detailed dollhouses that look like spooky abandoned buildings. (Hat tip to Kitten Herder)

Love is Chill – An excellent illuminated manuscript that you can buy as a print.

Embroidery Tattoos – Lovely tattoos that look like needlepoint. (Hat tip to Bruno)

We’re reassigning the fantasy accents – “Dwarves are from Boston now. Please leave the poor Scots be. They really don’t deserve this.” The whole comment thread is gold.

NAVATE – Art by Lauren K. Cannon. Some lovely fantasy/horror stuff, possibly NSFW for artistic nudity. (Hat tip to pdq)

Why Are You Haunted? – A survey.

17th Century Death Roulette – Spin the wheel to earn yourself an authentic death. I got Rickets. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

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Seen Online

February 18th, 2020 by Cobwebs

Self care isn’t always chocolate & NetFlix. Sometimes, it’s getting out of bed & doing more difficult tasks like summoning a demon to help with the dishes or finding the right number of chicken bones to appease the thing that lives in the attic.
roxiqt

Look

I like to think if I was set upon by a world-class assassin, I would take the situation seriously

but if they made threatening eye contact with me as they licked some of my blood off their exotically curvy knife blade, I’d stop our duel dead to lecture them about tetanus

NotLikeFreddy

The opposite of formaldehyde is casualdejekyll
Browtweaten

airline gate attendant: I understand that your little boy is difficult and hard to keep track of, but no, airline policy strictly forbids checking children in the cargo hold. you’ll have to-

members of the band Kansas: <deep breath>

cavaticat

Demon: (appears)
Cleric: This … isn’t a good time.
Demon:
Entire Congregation:
Demon: Yeah, no, I can see that.
Cleric: Is there … did you leave something at my place last night?
Demon: Fuck’s sake, at least PRETEND to banish me.
Cleric: Oh. Oh yeah! SHOO, NAUGHTY ONE!
boomer_kid

Concept: one of those “ooh, we messed with this creepy old religious site and now we’re all cursed” stories, except it’s set centuries in the future and the site in question is a derelict Church of Scientology building.

Honestly, I just want to see the obligatory wise mentor who explains how they’re all going to die in the second act say “rogue thetans” with a straight face.

prokopetz

Look, sometimes murders of crows will blacken the sky at your coming and ravening wolves are gonna follow in your wake, and you’re just gonna have to deal with that, and everybody else in the Costco is just gonna have to deal too
wodneswynn

me: *wailing dramatically in a long Victorian dress with a lit candelabra down one of the many dimly lit corridors of my gothic mansion at midnight*

my spouse: *turning on the hall light* we fucking talked about this

faeriesfang

Valentine’s Day is *not* the most romantic day of the year; the winter solstice is, because it gives you the most amount of time to spend with your vampire husband before the sun rises.
mageofsolitude

demonic possession is a decent trope but you know what’s even better? demonic cohabitation. just 2 people sharing the same body and both being the world’s worst roommate about it.

the demon sharing a body with me: *looking at my depression meal in horror* we… are NOT eating that
me: oh so you can eat the souls of the innocent but you’re too good for leftover spaghetti huh

*fights the demon living in my body over whose turn it is to answer the phone*

generalgrievousdatingsim

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

The Link Dump of Wildfell Hall

February 14th, 2020 by Cobwebs

Skull Makeup Brush Holder – Nicely-detailed resin skull suitable for holding brushes, pens, and similar items.

Ghost Girl – Arrestingly creepy sculpture by Kevin Francis Gray.

Body Parts Valentines – Some nicely punny Valentine’s Day cards.

Fun Things to Do During the Zombie Apocalypse – “1. Pants all the zombies and watch em waddle around ”

A New App Guides Readers Through Chaucer’s ‘Canterbury Tales’ – This is an interesting application of technology.

Steampumpkin – DIY guide to giving cheap plastic pumpkins a steampunk makeover.

Skull Egg Mold – I’ve always thought that molding boiled eggs fell into the same category as fluting mushrooms and ironing bedsheets: Stuff that nobody reasonable has the time for. But these are kind of awesome.

ominous positivity bot – Twitter bot specializing in posts which are positive but vaguely unsettling. “The vampire posing as your Cosmology teacher thinks you are very strong.”

Squash Softies – Use scrap fabric to make cute little pumpkins. Or Halloween tribbles.

Be Mine – A creepy illustration, suitable for Valentine’s Day.

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Fried Green Link Dumps

February 7th, 2020 by Cobwebs

Haunted Mansion Valentines – Some amusing images to clip and share.

FANGS – Sweet little webcomic about a vampire and a werewolf who are dating, done by Sarah Andersen of “Sarah’s Scribbles” fame. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Makeup Wands – Cute set of makeup brushes that look like magic wands.

The Light Witch – A lovely portrait series. (Hat tip to pdq)

Your Sister Adopts the Antichrist – I love this series of ficlets.

Half-Orcs with Doting Parents – A highly entertaining Twitter thread.

Hey There Cthulhu – “A Lovecraftian song.” (Hat tip to xJane)

Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village – “When you see the vicar, run. If you are not dead yet, the vicar is obliged to kill you.”

The Addams vs. The Munsters – I heartily endorse this Twitter thread.

Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout – The scream queen released a workout video in 1990. It is…a thing. A NSFW thing. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

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Seen Online

January 29th, 2020 by Cobwebs

Warrior: I swear I will have my revenge for the death of my brother.
Elf: You have my bow.
Dwarf: And my axe.
Necromancer: And your brother.
catchymemes

Sorry if I’m not your cup of tea. I’m not even my own cup of tea. I’m barely a cup and I don’t like tea. I’m more like a rusty bucket of haunted bog water. Sorry if I’m not your rusty bucket of haunted bog water.
TragicAllyHere

a vampire giving themselves a pep talk to a mirror that has a crudely drawn picture of themselves that they drew taped to it
farvann

[ creating bats ]
god: well we already made birds
angel:
god:
angel: what if they were goth
god: omg what IF they were goth tho
MNateShyamalan

doctor: describe your average night
me: they wear suits of armor
doctor: no I mean at bedtime
me: they probably take it off
climaxximus

Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed. Our menu options have become moodier, darker. Our menu options have been spending a lot of time in their room lately. We think our menu options might be up to something.
dorsalstream

I wish there wasn’t so much stigma around death. I’m excited for my eventual passing! I want my skull to be cleaned and engraved with something uplifting and bizarre

Someone finding my weird mutant brain shell in an old tin box under a Midwestern bomb shelter in the year 3008: What the fuck

*turning it over to see the words “everything will be okay” carved into the back*

(Softly) what the fuck

teaboot

It takes a village. Who knows what it will take next? Be safe.
NightValeRadio

*demon stands amid your destroyed work space*
Demon: *booming* HOW? How were you able to summon me?!
You (frantically clicking undo) *screaming and crying*: I don’t know. I was just trying to format an outline in Word. You were supposed to be bullet points
MeredithIreland

lawyer: if you can stay a night in this house, it is yours. but beware there’s a terrible cu-
millennial: holy shit home ownership? im in
ghost: *appearing* prepare to die
millennial: omg even better
MNateShyamalan

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The Link Dump Who Would Be King

January 24th, 2020 by Cobwebs

From Dracula to The Historian – A look at five Gothic novels which reflected the anxieties of their age.

EDF – The Necronomicon – A briefing video from the Eldritch Defense Force. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

If you hear weird noises in the night – A short, amusing Tumblr exchange.

The Beauty of Human Decomposition in Japanese Watercolor – Vintage Japanese watercolor makes even decomp look fancy. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

White Snake – Lovely snake skeleton made from lace.

Swords – A D&D-themed webcomic.

Sabrina Makeup Palette – NYX Cosmetics is launching a makeup kit inspired by Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.

Butterfly and Moth Sculptures – Artist Yumi Okita makes lovely oversized moths and butterflies.

Why Mary Shelley Was History’s Greatest Goth Queen – You will never be as goth as Mary Shelley.

Antler Guy – A lovely fic about the adventures of a demon in suburbia.

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