The Art of Darkness

Into the Link Dump

November 7th, 2014 by Cobwebs

Dark Galadriel – This method for creating “scale mail” armor with round sticker labels is brilliant.

Alessandro Gallo – Sculptor of marvelous human/animal hybrids, depicted in everyday situations. I like this insectoid creature, casually walking its crab.

Skull Toothpick Holder – Amusing “mohawk” toothpick holder. I concur with submitter xJane that it’d look even better if you used the picks with little colored tassels.

The Skulls of Human Kindness – Neat project from Skull-A-Day.

Caitlin Doughty AMA – The awesome mortician responsible for The Order of the Good Death did a Reddit AMA.

Night Terrors – This ‘toon isn’t funny so much as chillingly accurate.

Lovecraft – Kickstarter for a modern retelling of the Cthulhu Mythos which features Lovecraft “not as a writer but as a kick-ass action hero and alchemist.”

Kyla’s Favorite Halloween Fonts – Nice selection of free fonts for download. Part 2 is here.

Little Bat – Cute little finger-puppet book for small children. There’s also a Little Spider version.

Realistic Spider Prop – Unusual method for making realistic life-size spiders with melted paracord.

Posted in Link Dump | 4 Comments »

Creepy Mannequin Lamp

November 6th, 2014 by Cobwebs

Mannequin LampGot a room you want to discourage people from hanging around in? Problem solved.

Kuwaiti designer Al Hamed has a whole line of “Embarakiya” floor lamps fashioned from life-size mannequins sporting lampshades where their heads should be. The dummies all wear traditional Kuwaiti dress, and the shades are made of matching material.

Here’s the best part: Each mannequin has a sensor in its hand, so you switch on the lamp by shaking hands with this abomination.

I cannot love this hard enough. The seated “woman” has such a lurking-ghost vibe about her that I believe I’d be more startled if she didn’t go for my throat.

It looks like retail mannequins run around $100, but if there’s a clothing store in your area which is remodeling or closing you might be able to pick up a used one cheaper (they’re also sometimes available on eBay). Wiring a lamp into the neck wouldn’t be terribly difficult, and if you didn’t want to go to the trouble of installing a switch in the hand you could just stick with the standard one near the bulb.

Dress it in the costume of your choice. Change its outfit periodically. And some night you may wake up to find it standing beside your bed…just before its light goes out.

(via Scary Jane)

Posted in Bad Things | 3 Comments »

Seen Online

November 5th, 2014 by Cobwebs

Throw a baby badger so high that when it lands on your enemy it’s fully grown and very upset. You left town years ago. The perfect crime.

How much do my dead bfs ashes weigh? Enough to break the ice. I’m Stephanie.

If you think about it, a skeleton is chewing all your food.

Grown ups ask kids, “What do you want to do when you grow up?” because we’re looking for ideas.

SO TIRED of clapping happily when a kid takes more than 1 try to blow out birthday candles. His wish is screwed, why are we ignoring this

To me manslaughter sounds way worse than murder. They should change it to something like murder-whoopsie.

yes we still need feminism
the lack of female serial killers is no accident, women are discouraged from serial killing at a young age

Having a pet in the house is good. You can blame all suspicious sounds on it when your in bed. *BANG* What was that!?…it was just the fish

I wish TV shows were like sports: held a draft & traded actors mid-season. “AMC picks up Peter Dinklage to finish season six as Don Draper.”

For a quiet ride, buckle the empty seatbelt beside a child and tell them not to wake up the ghost.

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

Trivia Tuesday

November 4th, 2014 by Cobwebs

  1. H.P. Lovecraft’s fictional town of Arkham has a prestigious university named after this river, which runs alongside it.
  2. This mathematician and astronomer had strong occult leanings, devoting much of his life to the study of magic, divination, and alchemy. He was a trusted advisor to Elizabeth I and used astrology to choose her coronation date.
    A) Nicolas Flamel
    B) Gerardus Mercator
    C) Albertus Magnus
    D) Edward Kelley
    E) John Dee
  3. Jonathan Swift’s satirical essay “A Modest Proposal” suggests that the poor people in this country should ease their economic woes by raising their children as food for the rich.
  4. In the novel Dracula, the Count comes to England aboard this ship.
    A) Demeter
    B) Lucia
    C) Czarina Catherine
    D) Daedalus
    E) Persephone
  5. In 1835 Edgar Allan Poe married a 13-year-old relative. What was her name? (For an extra point, what was their relationship?)
  6. The “Heaven’s Gate” cult committed mass suicide in anticipation of being uplifted to a UFO they believed to be hiding behind this comet.
    A) Halley
    B) Shoemaker–Levy 9
    C) Hyakutake
    D) Kohoutek
    E) Hale-Bopp
  7. In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, what is the name of the vampire who sired Angel?
  8. Which of these is NOT a suit in a modern Tarot deck?
    A) Wands
    B) Skulls
    C) Swords
    D) Cups
    E) Coins
  9. The “Ghostly Trio” are uncles to what cartoon ghost?
  10. Many cryptid researchers claim that this legendary water-dwelling monster from Congo River basin folklore is really a relict dinosaur.
    A) Menehune
    B) Bunyip
    C) Mokele-mbembe
    D) Ogopogo
    E) Wolpertinger

(Answers below the fold)

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Whatever | 8 Comments »

Chris Pine: Vampire Lawyer

November 3rd, 2014 by Cobwebs

Because why not.

(via The Mary Sue)

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 2 Comments »

The Hundred-Foot Link Dump

October 31st, 2014 by Cobwebs

It’s Halloween, a.k.a. my single favorite day of the year. So double link dumps for everybody!

(And tell me what you’re doing for Halloween!)

Carrion Comfort Creations – Etsy shop full of coffin boxes, human finger key holders, and the creepiest painted ceramic teacups you have ever seen.

Halloween Hairstyles – A roundup. The bun with spider legs is adorable. (Hat tip to pdq)

Paranoid Magical Thinking – Interesting-sounding YA-ish novel which BoingBoing describes as “Melrose Place for quasi-magical, super powered misfits.”

Cthulhu Chess Set – Gorgeous set featuring handmade polymer clay pieces. The seller has some adorable dragons for sale too.

Halloween Poems – Extensive roundup of spooky poems for Halloween.

Health Goth – A new “subcultural movement” where you…go to the gym…wearing black, I guess? Apparently the main difference between this and “every goth who goes to the gym, ever” is that you wear a particular brand of clothing instead of all the other black stuff in your closet. Whatever.

Ikea Instructions for Monsters – Artist Ed Harrington has created a series of instruction sheets for assembling monsters.

Mad Science Birthday Party – This kids’ party theme isn’t even “vaguely irritated science,” let alone “mad,” but I sort of love the gummi worms in the petri dishes.

Boo Bark – Easy-to-make candy bark featuring cute li’l ghosts.

Pegacorn Anatomy – Tragedy Series has a cut-out standup labeling the innards of the rare and elusive Pegacorn. I wonder what the jellybean gland does.

Teddy Bear the Porcupine’s Halloween Feast – Adorable porcupine is adorable, and sounds like Cousin Itt. I was most taken with this bit from the video description: “(Sorry fans, Teddy just would NOT wear a costume, we tried!)” You…tried to put a costume on a porcupine? (Hat tip to Bruno)

Passed On – This ‘toon from Perry Bible Fellowship made me giggle.

Tango Macabre – Free skeleton-themed TrueType font which, unlike many skeleton-themed fonts, has the advantage of actually being readable.

Google Your Birthday – This would be an amusing party theme: Come as you were.

These Spider Fangs Aren’t Going To Photograph Themselves – An entomologist describes how he got some stunning close-up photos of a Sydney funnel-web spider’s hardware.

Potato Print Monster Tees – Super-cute idea for kids’ T-shirts. I love the “skeleton friends” (slide 2). Includes a how-to guide.

Nice Knockers – This Labyrinth-inspired cosplay is sort of brilliant.

All-Seeing Eye Button – Uber-creepy fashion design featuring eye buttons which fit into eyelid buttonholes.

Long Ma – This huge mechanical dragon-horse is just astonishing, and conjures up images of some ancient inventor creating such a creature to frighten away invaders.

Glam Halloween Jewelry – EPBOT has a great tutorial for making resin jewelry with scrapbooking stickers.

Posted in Link Dump | 3 Comments »

Monster Clock

October 30th, 2014 by Cobwebs

Monster ClockAutomata artist Dug North notes that his interests dwell in the area between art and technology, meaning that he creates neat little mechanisms like the Halloween Hat and this very cool Monster Clock.

I combined my love of clocks with my affinity for wooden monsters to create this new piece. The monster is made of basswood, ebony, and tagua nut. A small weight-driven German-made clock movement powers the eyes and clock.

There’s a short video of the clock in action at the link above.

This strikes me as a reasonably DIY-able project, at least in a scaled-down form. Clocks featuring moving eyes aren’t too difficult to find: The most common is probably the classic Kit-Kat, with wiggling eyes and tail. The easiest method would simply be to cover such a clock with a monster face. Second-easiest would be to remove the mechanism from the existing clock; that would allow you to switch out the faceplate and hands for something a little spookier, and repaint or replace the eyes too. Not quite as easy but probably cheapest would be to buy just the mechanism and make everything else yourself.

If you aren’t up to carving wood–although balsa wood is pretty easy–the monster face could be made of carved foam, papier-mache, or other lightweight material. If you’re feeling dedicated, wire some LEDs behind the eyes so they glow spooky. If you’re feeling really dedicated, this would look amazing as the face of a grandfather clock.

Incidentally, North also sells some simple wooden automaton kits, which would be a useful way to get your feet wet in building this kind of mechanism.

Posted in Bad Things | 1 Comment »

Say It With Me…

October 29th, 2014 by Cobwebs

Catastrophe…it’s a cat-ass trophy.

These needle-felted cat butts are the work of an artist named Popolare, who made them briefly available in her shop; they sold out pretty much immediately and there’s no word on whether she’ll have any more available. I sort of love the carefully-embroidered asshole. There are several photos and more information in English over at Rocket News 24.

If you’re skilled at needle-felting, this would be an awesome project. For the rest of us, a small plush cat could be bisected and framed; you could insert a wire in the tail to make it stand proudly upright.

Give one to a friend to help them feel better after they made a mistake, or to anyone who you think would appreciate a framed cat’s ass.

Posted in Needful Things | 1 Comment »

Fun Time-Waster

October 28th, 2014 by Cobwebs

NeedlepointI was recently trying to find the original source for this embroidered wall hanging (no luck, sadly), and stumbled upon the Historic Tale Construction Kit. It is kind of awesome.

It’s apparently been around for a while; the original kit was created as a Flash application by German students Björn Karnebogen and Gerd Jungbluth. Programmer Johannes Jander ported it to HTML/Javascript, giving it new life on more platforms. It allows you to drag a selection of images from the Bayeaux Tapestry onto a “linen” background, arrange them as desired, and add text in an appropriate font.

Mental Floss has a roundup of some of the resulting images, and there are plenty more around the web. I was amused by this and this in particular.

If you’re feeling particularly ambitious, use your custom image as a template for an actual embroidery piece. Otherwise, simply share and enjoy.

Posted in Resources | 5 Comments »

The Green Ruby Pumpkin

October 27th, 2014 by Cobwebs

This short film is intended to capture the enchantment of Halloween and was made as a “passion project” by visual effects artists Miguel Ortega and Tran Ma.

There’s also a “making of” video. You can view more of Ortega’s work at his site.

(via ShellHawk)

Posted in Whatever | No Comments »

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