The Art of Darkness

A Link Dump’s Purpose

March 8th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Blowjobs in Fairyland – A long and scholarly Tumblr discussion over what counts as food.

More D&D Monster Facts – I’m gonna add these to my next campaign.

Paranormal/Folklore Discord – Discord channel for paranormal/folklore enthusiasts.

Elmo vs. The Count – A highly entertaining Twitter thread.

Recreations of Famous Paintings of Myths Using Only My Children’s Toys – “By a Woman With Small Children and a PhD in Classics”

Currency Converter: 1270–2017 – This site will convert “old money” into current value, but will also tell you how many horses, cattle, stones of wool, wheat, and skilled tradesman days you would get for the amount.

Bread Magic – An interesting feature of Hungarian folktales.

Liches are Nerds – I agree with Sam Sykes; we should write them that way.

Silent Night – Interesting “weird biology” post about barn owls.

Bones Are Like Love – I’d really like this image to be available on greeting cards.

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Gahan Wilson Fundraiser

March 4th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Gahan WilsonInestimable cartoonist Gahan Wilson is currently fighting dementia and his wife, author Nancy Winters, passed away on March 2. She was his primary caregiver, and her son has set up a gofundme for Wilson’s memory care.

Help Gahan Wilson find his way

Posted in Whatever | 1 Comment »

Link Dumps Become Her

March 1st, 2019 by Cobwebs

CBS Orders a Frankenstein Drama Pilot – This sounds great, until the you reach the second sentence, which is, “Yes, he solves crimes,” and then you go, “Um.”

Bat in the Bookstore – A lovely thread by The MERL (of “absolute unit” fame). (Hat tip to approximately half the people I know online, all of whom sent this to me, because I know a lot of awesome people.)

What We Do in the Shadows Trailer – Official trailer for Season 1 of the series inspired by the mockumentary of the same name.

Cryptid Zodiac – I vote that we adopt these as official zodiacal signs immediately.

“Wrap-Around” Spiders – These adorable ‘piders camouflage themselves by wrapping tightly around tree branches. I want to wear one like a fur stole. (Hat tip to pdq)

Make Ink: A Forager’s Guide to Natural Inkmaking – Make your own ink from a variety of natural materials.

Mythical Backsides – Why have “Juicy” written across your butt when you can have “Ghoul” or “Harpy” instead?

How David Weber Orders a Pizza – This made me giggle.

Is The Nightmare Before Christmas Getting a Sequel? – I believe John Scalzi speaks for all of us when he said, “I swear to god if Disney does a flabby unnecessary “live action” bullshit version of this film I will BURN THE HAUNTED MANSION TO THE GROUND”

The Church of the Good Boy – This was written for a dog paladin in a D&D campaign. It’s good theology, Brent.

Posted in Link Dump | 1 Comment »

Seen Online

February 25th, 2019 by Cobwebs

acme was just mailing bombs and rockets and shit to a dog
wyatt_privilege

FIVE STAGES OF FRIENDSHIP
– liking each other’s tweets
– exchanging numbers in the DMs
– hot-air balloon races
– falling in love with the same man and accidentally killing each other in a duel
– haunting the woods together in your finest silk gowns
SketchesbyBoze

Dracula: do you hear them! the children of the ni…
Me, the familiar: we have the plumber coming at 7 to clean out that castle bathroom pipe that dumps into the sea & please pay him this time bc need I remind you we cant all turn into a bat and shit onto the side of the castle
griph

You never hear about a new ghost. “Oh yeah, this place is haunted since Jeff died last Tuesday.”
juliussharpe

[me as a realtor]
the crawl space is probably full of bones already but you can always add more bones yourself
roboticcrab

I would love to see a Poirot-style murder mystery that pivots into horror halfway through when it is revealed that the train is alive and murdering its own passengers
jephjacques

can’t wait til i’m a ghost and a dude with a tape recorder asks if there’s anything i’d like to communicate and i get to go “no thank you”
tarashoe

The thing I remember most about having a pet rock is how one day it just went crazy and attacked my best friend in the back of the head.
danguterman

PITCH: An anti-Mary Poppins story where a perfectly normal nanny teaches a family of impossibly powerful wizard children to stop being assholes
mizabitha

“If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous. If you bite it and you die it’s poisonous. If you bite it and somebody else dies it’s voodoo. If you bite it and your head hurts it’s probably ice cream.”

I am very informative to live with.

Also: “If you bite it and nobody dies but you’re both into it… I dunno, you’re on your own.”

ShinraAlpha

Posted in Whatever | 1 Comment »

brb

February 15th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Hey, guys and ghouls –

This is just a note to let the half-dozen people who still read this silly blog that I haven’t vanished. I’m in the middle of moving web hosts and all of my databases are in a state of flux. Once things settle back down I’ll get back to posting. Promise!

(In the meantime, there are 12 years’ worth of archived posts. Knock yourselves out.)

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Salt, Fat, Acid, Link Dump

February 1st, 2019 by Cobwebs

Legendary and Hammer Bringing Classic British Sci-Fi Hero QUATERMASS to the Big ScreenQuatermass and the Pit (Five Million Years to Earth in the US) is one of the best SF movies of all time; fight me. This reboot could be a lot of fun.

Cup of Frost, Palm of Gold – Fantasy Twine game described by its author as containing, “iced bones and merling kisses and fey feasting and clay coffins and acorns cracked by teeth.”

Monster Librarian – Resource site for scary books.

Fuyuko Matsui – Artist who specializes in the supernatural, beautiful and grotesque.

Omnia Oddities – “Jewelry for the unearthly.” I especially like the Arachne ring.

#McMansionGothic – An entertaining Twitter thread.

The Privilege of the Happy Ending – This short story was described by @BBolander thusly: “It is, essentially, a fairy tale AU where Ellen Ripley is a banty hen & Newt is … well, mostly still Newt, and they have to navigate a xenomorph-infested fairy tale landscape together.”

24 Children’s Stories That Still Give Us the Creeps – A roundup of fairy tales and folklore that will give kids nightmares.

Undead Girl – I will be singing it with these lyrics from now on.

Death Wish Coffee – Highly-caffeinated “extreme” coffee.

Posted in Link Dump | 2 Comments »

Seen Online

January 29th, 2019 by Cobwebs

for the last time: it’s only amontillado if it’s from the montilla region of spain. anywhere else and it’s just a fino. i have some in my basement if you want to educate yourself. come look
soy_person

Wild bee: just getting snack
Me: no prob bee

Mason bee: just make house
Me: build a way b

Honey bee:jus sampling the lavenders
Me: you know I got an assortment

Bumble bee: hey *bonk* I jus *bonk* I h
Me: *holds flower still*

Wasp: I’LL SEE U IN HELL
Me: U TELL THEM WHO SENT U

CMGaldre

This season’s color palettes are: the blood of your enemies, the bones of those who stand against you, the wind howling amongst the forgotten tombs of all those who thought you small and weak
hottestsingles

Your eye is a collection of cells that evolved to borrow the radiation from a fiery ball of superheated hydrogen and helium in order to gather information about objects outside your physical reach. Vision is a kind of divination shaped and fueled by a cosmic inferno.
CryptoNature

The moral universe of Charlotte’s Web only makes sense if sentience extends all the way down to spiders and then hits a hard fall-off before flies.

“Eating this pig would be wrong,” Charlotte said, as half a dozen muffled, pleading voices vibrated the web beneath her legs.

ScottWesterfeld

MOVIE IDEA: Jason Voorhees kills a guy, who it turns out is an actual goalie. His team sees Jason, assumes HE’S their team-mate, Jason has a new career. Jason turns out to be really good, so his team starts hiding all the murders he’s committing.
FRIDAY THE 13TH JASON ON ICE
BrianLynch

DM: At bar you see a cloaked, hunched over man. He wears a crown of bone and blade, surrounded by three sentient rings of fire. His arm is made of steel.

Players: who else is in the tavern

DM: uhhhh theres a goblin named Sam Smorkle

Players: I want to talk to Sam Smorkle

beanytuesday

The weatherman just said the roads are treacherous — but just how treacherous are they?
Would they, for example, cruelly blacken your name to your lover in order to curry favour?
eohiggins

*Victorian House Hunters*

HOST: I—

HENRY JAMES: I should like a kitchen whose concept is – how shall I conceive of it – not closed, not in some way occluded, but bright, agape, unrestrained as a verdant Tuscan meadow; open, in so many words

HOST: And that’s the full 22 minutes

BullenRoss

Man, think of how confusing it would’ve been if just the Ghostbusters song was released, no movie.
2tonbug

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 3 Comments »

Sing a Song of Link Dumps

January 25th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Spiderween – An in-depth “arachnophobe-safe” guide to spiders.

Born to Be Posthumous – The “definitive biography” of Edward Gorey. (Hat tip to Kitten Herder)

Fossil Cookies – Cute, easy idea for making edible “fossils.” The walnut dough seems like more trouble than it needs to be; I’m sure any firm sugar-cookie dough would work just as well.

Getting Dressed in the 18th Century – Working Woman – Part of a series the National Museums Liverpool has put together on 18th Century costume. There are also examples of an upper-class woman and gentleman that will make you deeply grateful for jeans and a T-shirt.

Zdzisław Beksiński – Supremely creepy art by a painter with a tragic history.

Dinosaurs – Artist Shimoda Masakatsu makes dinosaur sculptures–some wearable–from stuffed white cotton. (Hat tip to pdq)

Mutant Giant Spider Dog – This small dog dressed as a giant furry spider just wants snuggles.

Mawwiage in Tights – A Princess Bride/Robin Hood-themed wedding.

Warg – This made me giggle immoderately. (Some of the other cartoons on the site are NSFW-ish.)

Cthulhu Mittens – Free knitting pattern full of Lovecraftian goodness.

Posted in Link Dump | 2 Comments »

The Link Dump and the Carpenter

January 18th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Why Snowpiercer is a sequel to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory – This makes a weird amount of sense.

Fantasy Tumblr Would be Fucking Insufferable – An amusing thread.

DRAGULA: Season One Premiere – A search for “the world’s first drag supermonster.” (Hat tip to Bruno Bruno’s boyfriend)

Snowmen – An entry in Bogleech’s “Halloween Bestiary.” (Links to previous entries are at the bottom of the post.)

A Gift Giving Guide for Your Dark Valentine – A gothy roundup.

The Mended Spiderweb Series – Artist Nina Katchadourian used red thread to repair torn spiderwebs. These are oddly lovely.

The PoohingThe Shining comes to the 100 Acre Woods. Mildly NSFW due to cartoony nude bear portraiture, which is not a sentence I ever though I’d write. (Also see Alien vs. Pooh.)

Mehndi Cookies – Instructions for making gingerbread hands with edible “henna” tattoos.

Black Red and Poe Wedding Ideas – Although I question using “Nevermore” as a thematic element in a wedding, there are some lovely, elegant ideas here.

Bridges on the Body – Blog devoted to corsetmaking.

Posted in Link Dump | 1 Comment »

The Link Dump of Edwin Drood

January 4th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Necronomicon Plush Cushion – This is certainly a…unique…accent piece. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Universal Horror – Nicely creepy short story.

Hair Skull – I’m not sure how much gel would be required to hold the curves in place, but this hairstyle is pretty cool.

Lace Cement Votive – Interesting DIY votive.

Inferno – Super-neat interactive map of Dante’s Inferno. (Hat tip to Bruno)

Pictures Of Saint Margaret of Antioch Where The Dragon Seems Like a Mild Inconvenience at Worst, A Beloved But Naughty Household Pet at Best – A thread of greatness.

Roly Poly Pill Bug – Knitting pattern for an adorably cuddly wood louse.

In the Late December – A sweetly hopeful story at the heat death of the universe.

Victorian Cannibalism – Interesting thread on how cannibalism was just one of those expected things for Victorian sailors, and how that finally changed.

Two Girls One Ghost – A horror comedy podcast in which “Best friends bonded by their paranormal experiences…recount their contact with the other side, tell each other ghost stories and invite listeners to join in on the fun.” (Hat tip to Bruno)

Posted in Link Dump | 9 Comments »

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