If i saw an unspeakably horrific lovecraftian entity with my own eyes I would simply comprehend its shape and not go crazy.
— LicensedT0Ill

The goal of a woman’s life is *not* to be a wife and mother. It’s to dramatically gatecrash a christening party swathed in a raven-black cloak and cackle, “I TOO HAVE A GIFT FOR THE PRINCESS!”
— Iconawrites

Okay but we all agree that SOME who wander are lost, right
— ryanqnorth

Behind every successful man there’s a small ghost of a Victorian child
— FeelingEuphoric

sex ed teacher: haahaha. wait. i’m sorry lmao. where did you say they came from, again?
athena: f-foreheads
— MNateShyamalan

you know the fantasy trope of like the Sword That Makes You Evil. well that sword exists in real life too and it’s called a wrapping paper tube
— ntagonistic

dang girl, you’ll make the prettiest flowers once your body rots into the earth.
— m0rphlne

“The Raven” is my ideal poem and here’s why:
– Has an unreliable narrator
– Has a bird
– The bird is also unreliable
— SparkNotes

police officer: there’s a dead body in your basement
schrödinger: [sighing] well there is now
— kieransofar

“Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?” It was me, I did it. It was in a big jar with “COOKIES” written on it. Why else would you have a COOKIE JAR? Oh I’m sorry were you fermenting those cookies
— egoraptor

Guess who’s responsible for half these links again? If you guessed “Pixel Pixie” you’ve been paying attention.

The Deadlands – Kickstarter for a monthly speculative fiction magazine described as “a journal of endings and beginnings.”

Bats and Cats Afghan and Spooky Spider Afghan – Two cute crochet kits. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Bayeaux Tapestry Online – The Bayeaux Museum has a new feature which allows you to explore the entire tapestry online, with high-quality images.

Chris McKay to direct monster movie about Dracula’s buddy Renfield – Sure, why not. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

The Mothman Prank – This is the Platonic ideal of a prank: Nobody gets hurt, and it’s hilarious.

Would You Live in a Former Funeral Home? – Well…yeah. This Victorian mansion is gorgeous. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

You Are Capable of Writing Better Horror Stories – This is targeted at horror-themed video games, but it’s a very good look at how horror works in fiction.

Luna Tarot Deck – Kickstarter for a lovely moon-themed deck. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Good Bad & Undead – Jason Momoa and Peter Dinklage are in talks to play the last descendant of the Van Helsings (Dinklage) and a vampire who’s sworn off killing people (Momoa).

Escape from the Evil Garden – A Edward Gorey-themed board game. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Y’all should be profusely thanking Pixel Pixie because without her you wouldn’t have link dumps nearly so often.

The Waking Dead – Crochet pattern for a sleep mask that is certainly…eye-catching. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Amy’s Baggage – Etsy shop with horror movie and pop culture-themed lanyards, cosmetic bags, and similar items.

Creature Comfort – Kickstarter for a throw blanket with an awesome design. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Open House on Haunted Hill – Sweet little story about a house that aspires to be evil.

Elvira Auction – An auction of “Property from the Collection of Elvira, Mistress of the Dark” will be held on Halloween, 2021. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Sex Appeal Rankings for Supernatural Creatures – A thread of greatness.

Rob Zombie Set to Helm The Munsters Film for Universal – This could either be a lot of fun or Tim-Burton’s-Dark Shadows levels of bad. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

The Ghost Writer’s Antique Bookstore – Cute addition to the Lemax “Spooky Town” collection.

Neglected Murderesses – Norman Reedus is planning to develop the Gorey book into a series for AMC. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Cheshire Cat Tattoo – This black light tattoo is perfect.

Gratitude to Pixel Pixie for once again supplying half of these links.

Campaigns and Companions – A delightful book of D&D illustrations featuring animals.

The Edible Museum – Anatomically accurate human hearts, brains, and fingers, plus toads and beetles and other delights, all made of chocolate. ((Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Trivial Pursuit: Horror Edition – This version of the game features questions about classic horror movies and books.

MacFizzet Hall – A lovingly-detailed Edward Gorey-themed dollhouse. ((Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Adopte ton Pouple – Etsy shop full of tentacular goodness. I especially love the octopus fishnet stockings.

Escape the Mütter – Virtual escape room inside the Mütter Museum. ((Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

We, the Girls Who Did Not Make It – A ghost story. CW for allusions to torture and rape.

SunSpots by Adria – Etsy shop featuring “strange and unusual” stained glass suncatchers. ((Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Statler the Bat – This 33-year-old fruit bat is living his best life.

Man Builds a Skeleton Guitar Made from the Remains of his Deceased Uncle – Although this is probably a hoax, the guitar is still super cool. A similar one made with a plastic skeleton would be a great prop. ((Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Inside you are two wolves. In front of you is a very upset wolf pack
— AbbieEvansXO

Dermatologists HATE Her! Meet The Woman Who Has Dedicated Her Life To Harassing As Many Dermatologists As Humanly Possible
— SarahSaudaripam

i want to hear vampires argue about dracula. i want to hear one be like “he got handed everything with that stoker book. there are so many better vampires” and another one shake their head like “no way, dracula changed the game. you cant pretend he didnt”
— hunktears

why is it called creepypasta and not fettuccine afraido
— blainecapatch

Another wooden ball!!! Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?? I have like 12 already
— mariana057

Man, how hot do you think Freud’s mom was?
— RachelMComedy

[my funeral service]
my widow: he will surely be remembered for being such a terrible liar who faked his own death several times..aaand there he is at the back in the stupid big hat. i’d like to apologise to everyone here once again
— mrjohndarby

So when other people wear a mask, stay inside a lot, and start giving singing lessons on the side, they’re “dealing with a global pandemic.” But when I, the Phantom of the Opera,
— SparkNotes

*during a meeting*
Colleague 1: what animals make you think floaty and calming?
Colleague 2: Ooh, rabbits, little birds, butterflies…
Me: those spiders that make sails out of webbing so they can hang glide.
— ShinraAlpha

Who dies surrounded by friends. Hey Mike come over I’m dying
— harriweinreb

(Special thanks to Pixel Pixie for supplying fully half of the links in this list.)

The Addams Family renting out rooms in their huge mansion cheaply to broke college students. – This whole thread is delightful.

Ramses and the Pharaohs Gold – Egypt has approved a Pharaonic exhibition for five cities in the U.S. and Europe. Road trip! (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Ancient Baking – Seamus Blackley posts frequent Twitter threads about baking bread using ancient techniques and period-appropriate ingredients.

Haunted Mansion Snow Village – Department 56 has a lovely miniature house based on the Disneyland mansion as part of its Halloween collection. They also have a neat Addams Family collection. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Virtual Visits – List of museums, historic landmarks, and other places to visit online.

Memento Mori D20 – D20 dice made from real human bone. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Dog Sheet Ghost – This little wooden carving of a Very Good Dead Dog is just adorable.

How Lovecraft Pronounced Cthulhu – An interesting bit of linguistic sleuthing. Also, this is yet another thing that I’m going to blithely ignore Lovecraft about. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Crocheted Isopod – The cuddliest li’l wood louse you ever saw.

MacFizzet Hall – Amazing dollhouse based on works by Edward Gorey. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Sometimes you’re the mad scientest, sometimes you’re the slightly irritated scienter.
— KellyDMcC

A storm is approaching, and I’m about to do one of my favourite things: go out in the middle of the night and leave several fish on top of my neighbour’s car.
— thewritertype

Arthur Conan Doyle: I have invented the greatest detective of all time
Agatha Christie: hold my tea
Doyle: … why does this tea taste funny
— SketchesbyBoze

She had legs that just would not quit. We tried to force quit them via the Task Manager, but Windows was not responding.
— AlexandraErin

I like going to the cemetery early in the morning because, if you’re calm and patient, the skeletons will approach and even eat right out of your hand.
— dorsalstream

The Skarsgårds are goth Hemsworths
— Kendragarden

When in doubt, let nature guide you.
Specifically, cactuses.
Stay hydrated.
Shelter owls.
Stab your predators.
— CryptoNature

DoorDash but instead of food, spiders.
— NightValeRadio

The sad irony is, if Jack Torrance had just written down what was happening to him, he would have written The Shining, a very successful book.
— TNeenan

We’ve been through the wringer and it’s okay to feel emotionally compromised. Take time to pause. Relax. Breathe. Go outside, even in the cold, look at birds. Watch them flit. Listen to chirps and songs. Sing back. Sing their secret song. Let them in. Wow now you’re made of birds
— ChuckWendig

Credit

Letters to Satan Claus – KBSpangler live-tweeted this completely bonkers send-up of Hallmark Christmas movies.

Bird Lamps – These lamps resembling ravens playing with lightbulbs are great. I believe that there are also mice and other creatures, but the website was apparently designed by a Yorkie on crack and I didn’t hang around to be sure.

Praying Mantis Crochet Pattern – Pattern for a surprisingly detailed mantis.

Rest in Pieces – An “oddity shop,” heavy on the animal bits. This shop was brought to my attention by the inimitable Pixel Pixie, who sent me a link to the buffalo scrotum. (When I asked what I was supposed to do with this information, the response was, “Get two. Make earrings.”)

Nick Cave Says No One Has Bought His Erotic Wallpaper – The fact that this headline doesn’t even break the top 100 weird headlines for the year says a lot about 2020.

Please link me to a SCARY/BATSHIT/WILD long-form article – This thread has some great recommendations.

Little Dragon Puppet – Video tutorial for a cute little dragon which sits on your hand.

Finding Fiends – Entertaining webtoon about a guy who does a YouTube show about cryptids and his roommate, The Mothman. There are additional entries on the artist’s Tumblr, like this one.

Yip Yips – Free crochet and knit patterns for the Yip Yip muppets.

Collector’s Item – Peter Lorre and Vincent Price did a pilot for a TV series about two crime-solving antique dealers. Part 2 | Part 3 (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

live your life in such a way that the Puritans would pass a law forbidding you from entering New England
— SketchesbyBoze

Son: daddy, will Santa be allowed to come this year?
Me: Afraid not, kiddo
Daughter: *dismantling bear trap* so we wait til next year?
Me: no… *loading crossbow* …we take the fight to him
— HansGrubertron

me after killing a werewolf: more like werewolf {but this time i pronounce it were, like the second person singular past, plural past, and past subjunctive of be}
— drankturpentine

i no longer contain multitudes. there has been a breach. repeat, there has been a breach.
— thesravaka

police officer: there’s a dead body in your basement
schrödinger: [sighing] well there is now
— kieransofar

The McRib implies the existence of the McSkull.
— ZipperMouth_

Jesus: *picks up bread* this is my body
Jesus: *picks up wine* this is my blood
Jesus: *picks up eggplant* i think we allll know what this is lol yea
— IvoryGazelle

The Anti-Christ came to my Christmas party & turned all the wine into water. HATE that guy.
— JohnFugelsang

Could someone else please follow my dreams for a while? I just really need to sit down.
— dorsalstream

every woman you know has witnessed things she would rather not talk about: the girl whose face she stole and then trapped in a mirror, the untimely deaths of her three husbands, the fallen star whose heart she consumes to stay young
— SketchesbyBoze

it’s always “this doll is haunted and is ominously shattering the china” and never “how can I provide adequate enrichment for my haunted doll so she doesn’t destroy stuff out of boredom”

responsible haunted doll ownership means aknowledging your doll’s need for interaction and play time! make sure to give her plenty of stuff to look at with her rolling eyes and shatter-proof things to knock over.

remember that knocking picture frames off walls, inverting crosses, and leaving long and disturbing claw marks in your wallpaper is natural haunted doll behaviour and should be managed in a way which is healthy for both you and your doll!

Your Doll’s Not Evil, She’s Just Bored

— shakespork