The Art of Darkness

The Call of the Link Dump

March 6th, 2020 by Cobwebs

Wanderlust and What You Could Become – A lovely, fairy tale-like ‘toon.

Leviathan – Ark of the Apocalypse – Sculpture of a ghostly pirate ship made with found materials.

Rat King Color Wheel – This is a really striking print.

Abandoned Dollhouses – Gorgeously-detailed dollhouses that look like spooky abandoned buildings. (Hat tip to Kitten Herder)

Love is Chill – An excellent illuminated manuscript that you can buy as a print.

Embroidery Tattoos – Lovely tattoos that look like needlepoint. (Hat tip to Bruno)

We’re reassigning the fantasy accents – “Dwarves are from Boston now. Please leave the poor Scots be. They really don’t deserve this.” The whole comment thread is gold.

NAVATE – Art by Lauren K. Cannon. Some lovely fantasy/horror stuff, possibly NSFW for artistic nudity. (Hat tip to pdq)

Why Are You Haunted? – A survey.

17th Century Death Roulette – Spin the wheel to earn yourself an authentic death. I got Rickets. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

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Seen Online

February 18th, 2020 by Cobwebs

Self care isn’t always chocolate & NetFlix. Sometimes, it’s getting out of bed & doing more difficult tasks like summoning a demon to help with the dishes or finding the right number of chicken bones to appease the thing that lives in the attic.
roxiqt

Look

I like to think if I was set upon by a world-class assassin, I would take the situation seriously

but if they made threatening eye contact with me as they licked some of my blood off their exotically curvy knife blade, I’d stop our duel dead to lecture them about tetanus

NotLikeFreddy

The opposite of formaldehyde is casualdejekyll
Browtweaten

airline gate attendant: I understand that your little boy is difficult and hard to keep track of, but no, airline policy strictly forbids checking children in the cargo hold. you’ll have to-

members of the band Kansas: <deep breath>

cavaticat

Demon: (appears)
Cleric: This … isn’t a good time.
Demon:
Entire Congregation:
Demon: Yeah, no, I can see that.
Cleric: Is there … did you leave something at my place last night?
Demon: Fuck’s sake, at least PRETEND to banish me.
Cleric: Oh. Oh yeah! SHOO, NAUGHTY ONE!
boomer_kid

Concept: one of those “ooh, we messed with this creepy old religious site and now we’re all cursed” stories, except it’s set centuries in the future and the site in question is a derelict Church of Scientology building.

Honestly, I just want to see the obligatory wise mentor who explains how they’re all going to die in the second act say “rogue thetans” with a straight face.

prokopetz

Look, sometimes murders of crows will blacken the sky at your coming and ravening wolves are gonna follow in your wake, and you’re just gonna have to deal with that, and everybody else in the Costco is just gonna have to deal too
wodneswynn

me: *wailing dramatically in a long Victorian dress with a lit candelabra down one of the many dimly lit corridors of my gothic mansion at midnight*

my spouse: *turning on the hall light* we fucking talked about this

faeriesfang

Valentine’s Day is *not* the most romantic day of the year; the winter solstice is, because it gives you the most amount of time to spend with your vampire husband before the sun rises.
mageofsolitude

demonic possession is a decent trope but you know what’s even better? demonic cohabitation. just 2 people sharing the same body and both being the world’s worst roommate about it.

the demon sharing a body with me: *looking at my depression meal in horror* we… are NOT eating that
me: oh so you can eat the souls of the innocent but you’re too good for leftover spaghetti huh

*fights the demon living in my body over whose turn it is to answer the phone*

generalgrievousdatingsim

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The Link Dump of Wildfell Hall

February 14th, 2020 by Cobwebs

Skull Makeup Brush Holder – Nicely-detailed resin skull suitable for holding brushes, pens, and similar items.

Ghost Girl – Arrestingly creepy sculpture by Kevin Francis Gray.

Body Parts Valentines – Some nicely punny Valentine’s Day cards.

Fun Things to Do During the Zombie Apocalypse – “1. Pants all the zombies and watch em waddle around ”

A New App Guides Readers Through Chaucer’s ‘Canterbury Tales’ – This is an interesting application of technology.

Steampumpkin – DIY guide to giving cheap plastic pumpkins a steampunk makeover.

Skull Egg Mold – I’ve always thought that molding boiled eggs fell into the same category as fluting mushrooms and ironing bedsheets: Stuff that nobody reasonable has the time for. But these are kind of awesome.

ominous positivity bot – Twitter bot specializing in posts which are positive but vaguely unsettling. “The vampire posing as your Cosmology teacher thinks you are very strong.”

Squash Softies – Use scrap fabric to make cute little pumpkins. Or Halloween tribbles.

Be Mine – A creepy illustration, suitable for Valentine’s Day.

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Fried Green Link Dumps

February 7th, 2020 by Cobwebs

Haunted Mansion Valentines – Some amusing images to clip and share.

FANGS – Sweet little webcomic about a vampire and a werewolf who are dating, done by Sarah Andersen of “Sarah’s Scribbles” fame. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Makeup Wands – Cute set of makeup brushes that look like magic wands.

The Light Witch – A lovely portrait series. (Hat tip to pdq)

Your Sister Adopts the Antichrist – I love this series of ficlets.

Half-Orcs with Doting Parents – A highly entertaining Twitter thread.

Hey There Cthulhu – “A Lovecraftian song.” (Hat tip to xJane)

Your Guide to Not Getting Murdered in a Quaint English Village – “When you see the vicar, run. If you are not dead yet, the vicar is obliged to kill you.”

The Addams vs. The Munsters – I heartily endorse this Twitter thread.

Linnea Quigley’s Horror Workout – The scream queen released a workout video in 1990. It is…a thing. A NSFW thing. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

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Seen Online

January 29th, 2020 by Cobwebs

Warrior: I swear I will have my revenge for the death of my brother.
Elf: You have my bow.
Dwarf: And my axe.
Necromancer: And your brother.
catchymemes

Sorry if I’m not your cup of tea. I’m not even my own cup of tea. I’m barely a cup and I don’t like tea. I’m more like a rusty bucket of haunted bog water. Sorry if I’m not your rusty bucket of haunted bog water.
TragicAllyHere

a vampire giving themselves a pep talk to a mirror that has a crudely drawn picture of themselves that they drew taped to it
farvann

[ creating bats ]
god: well we already made birds
angel:
god:
angel: what if they were goth
god: omg what IF they were goth tho
MNateShyamalan

doctor: describe your average night
me: they wear suits of armor
doctor: no I mean at bedtime
me: they probably take it off
climaxximus

Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed. Our menu options have become moodier, darker. Our menu options have been spending a lot of time in their room lately. We think our menu options might be up to something.
dorsalstream

I wish there wasn’t so much stigma around death. I’m excited for my eventual passing! I want my skull to be cleaned and engraved with something uplifting and bizarre

Someone finding my weird mutant brain shell in an old tin box under a Midwestern bomb shelter in the year 3008: What the fuck

*turning it over to see the words “everything will be okay” carved into the back*

(Softly) what the fuck

teaboot

It takes a village. Who knows what it will take next? Be safe.
NightValeRadio

*demon stands amid your destroyed work space*
Demon: *booming* HOW? How were you able to summon me?!
You (frantically clicking undo) *screaming and crying*: I don’t know. I was just trying to format an outline in Word. You were supposed to be bullet points
MeredithIreland

lawyer: if you can stay a night in this house, it is yours. but beware there’s a terrible cu-
millennial: holy shit home ownership? im in
ghost: *appearing* prepare to die
millennial: omg even better
MNateShyamalan

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The Link Dump Who Would Be King

January 24th, 2020 by Cobwebs

From Dracula to The Historian – A look at five Gothic novels which reflected the anxieties of their age.

EDF – The Necronomicon – A briefing video from the Eldritch Defense Force. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

If you hear weird noises in the night – A short, amusing Tumblr exchange.

The Beauty of Human Decomposition in Japanese Watercolor – Vintage Japanese watercolor makes even decomp look fancy. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

White Snake – Lovely snake skeleton made from lace.

Swords – A D&D-themed webcomic.

Sabrina Makeup Palette – NYX Cosmetics is launching a makeup kit inspired by Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.

Butterfly and Moth Sculptures – Artist Yumi Okita makes lovely oversized moths and butterflies.

Why Mary Shelley Was History’s Greatest Goth Queen – You will never be as goth as Mary Shelley.

Antler Guy – A lovely fic about the adventures of a demon in suburbia.

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A Connecticut Link Dump in King Arthur’s Court

January 17th, 2020 by Cobwebs

Bats – An excellent modification to Lizzo’s “Boys.”

Horror Fiction in the 20th Century – A scholarly tome about the development of the genre. The author talks about it here.

Don’t Date Vampires – This thread makes some valid points.

The Thing That Hides in Your Home – A guide to where in your home The Thing might be lurking.

Fire and Bone – Gorgeously detailed miniature metal animal skulls, suitable for wearing as jewelry or for display. The inestimable Pixel Pixie gifted me with a couple of these and I can attest to their loveliness.

Become a Sealand Noble – The Principality of Sealand sells titles: For a mere $45US you can become a Lord, Lady, Baron or Baroness. Pricier options include Count/Countess, Duke/Duchess, and Sir/Dame (Knighthood).

Vultures – An appreciation thread.

Microorganism Puppets – The tardigrade is kind of cute. The bacteriophage is fucking horrifying.

Greg the Gargoyle – Whimsical little ficlet about an office building with gargoyles.

Artful Ashes – This company swirls cremation remains into decorative glass tchotchkes.

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Seen Online

January 14th, 2020 by Cobwebs

Happy Anagram Day to all who obverse.
JoshMalina

Concept: an exorcist who doesn’t actually have any holy powers, they’re just really socially awkward, and the ghosts become uncomfortable and leave.
prokopetz

Shout out to the clerk at Strand who looked at the cookbook I was buying, looked at the book on poison I was also buying, paused, and asked if I had big weekend plans.
lvanden1

My (35m) best friend (45m) wants me to come enjoy his latest experiment, but I said no. I’m swamped – I have my country’s 500 anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and my rival country to blame for it. AITA?
AlyshondraM

Story: Cats have nine lives, but don’t know where to keep them. Mouse holes? Beneath the couch? Nine is a lot to keep track of. Most desiccate with lost super balls behind the fridge. Mary found one during spring cleaning once. She likes being a cat.
rachelswirsky

Abolish valentines day and replace it with winter halloween
ThyArtIsMemes

i think its fucked up that things are venomous. if a spider wants me dead it should have to eat me like a man
stimman4000

If you’re feeling worried about how little you’ve achieved, remember that Bram Stoker didn’t write Dracula until he was 50, and Dracula didn’t kill anyone until he was dead.
CharlieDinkin

house hunters but literally

presenter: today we’re dealing with two detatched properties and a feral bungalow at the end of a cul-de-sac *cheerfully cocks shotgun* let’s get started!

generalgrievousdatingsim

Hieronymus Bob
(via Pixel Pixie)

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The Link Dump With Two Brains

January 10th, 2020 by Cobwebs

Night Spirit Studio – Etsy shop full of gothic cross-stitch patterns. I especially like the plague doctor.

Boleskine Rocks for Sale – You can own a piece of Aleister Crowley’s house. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Cthulhu Summer – Neil Gaiman answers a Tumblr ask.

Fruit Bat Quarter – The U.S. Mint is producing a quarter with a fruit bat on the back and I believe I will pay for everything with quarters from now on.

Im at a bar right now and a bunch of RPG heroes just walked in – A Twitter thread of greatness.

Pirate, Punk, and Other Skull Motif Knitting Patterns – A roundup. (via xJane)

Humans Mimicking Mermaids – I sort of love the idea that real mermaids would be spooked.

Not a Deer – Discussion about an Appalachian cryptid. “It was a deer in the way that a graveyard is a playground” is an absolutely dynamite line.

Cassius Warrington – As a proud Slytherin,* I am happy to headcanon this discussion of what might have happened if Cedric Diggory hadn’t been the Hogwarts champion in the Triwizard Tournament.

if two people sleep in a bunk bed do they have to share a monster – This Tumblr thread goes places.

*TERFS fuck off.

Posted in Link Dump | 2 Comments »

Seen Online

January 7th, 2020 by Cobwebs

I love how Satanic cults in movies always speak in Latin as if Satan had been around for billions of years, encountered the Romans, and then was like “damn this language is IT y’all hell yeah im writing ALL my contracts with this bad boy”
ckunzelman

ghosts are so funny. they’re people who were just like “actually, fuck dying” and decided to cause problems on purpose for the rest of everyone else’s lives. goals tbh.
generalgrievousdatingsim

Charlie Brown is an adult now. Snoopy is merely a security question.
1followernodad

To kill a French Vampire you need to drive a baguette through its heart. Sounds easy but the process is painstaking.
CatstreyDave

dear santa,
i have been nice all year. please use one of your limited christmas miracles to make vampires real. you will not have to bring me any presents on any subsequent years because i do not plan on remaining on the nice list after you make good on this
garregmach

Of course I have body issues, I can’t explode into a thousand bats.
requiem-on-water

CLERIC: prepare to die, monster. your days of hunting the innocent are over
VAMPIRE: lol no-one “hunts” people anymore
VICTIM (muffled through gag): bite me vladdy
VAMPIRE (cracks riding crop): freely given consent is the cornerstone of safe BDSM. safeword is “garlic”
deathbybadger

My kids asked why we don’t have an Elf on the Shelf, and I used that meme, “You don’t bargain with the fey, and you don’t invite them into the house.” My younger boys laughed, but my 12yo gave me big eyes and said, “Wait. Are you serious?” Now I want to know what he’s let in.
BrigidKemmerer

Sometimes I look at accounts and media that glamorize weddings and I feel like some women only want to get married to wear a pretty dress, and that makes me sad. You can just as easily get to wear pretty dresses by pledging your soul to Black Phillip
MaraWilson

You’d better not shout
You’d better not cry
You’d better watch out
I’m telling you why
The creatures are blind but their hearing is incredibly acute, as is their sense of smell. And they’re hungry. So hungry…
theplaguedoc

lovecraft: so yeah so this monster looks super fucked
reader: oh man how fucked
lovecraft: you know
reader: i truly do not. give me a description???
lovecraft: ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)
ryandroyd

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