The Art of Darkness

The Link Dump in Winter

June 14th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Crystal Visions – Easy DIY ideas for crystal balls. (Hat tip to xJane)

How the Horror Community is Celebrating Pride Month – My favorite bit is the fact that the producers of The Babadook have fully embraced their accidental status as an LGBTQ icon instead of trying to downplay it.

Rat Silicon Mold – Baking mold for making rat-shaped chocolates, cupcakes, and similar items.

Púca Festival – Ireland is planning a new festival which celebrates it as the birthplace of Halloween. (via Spooky Moon)

Zuul Terror Dog Replica – Spirit Halloween is selling a life-size Ghostbusters terror dog prop.

Monster Etiquette – A guidebook for genteel monster behavior. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

The Thoughts of a Spiderweb – There’s evidence that some spiders offload some of their thinking and memories to their webs.

The Shortest Story – “Postcard stories from impossible worlds.” Very short stories (sadly not screen reader-accessible, since they’re images). I like this one and this one.

Scooby Doo Origin Stories – This Tumblr thread provides backstories for the Scooby gang and they’re pretty great.

Monster Foot Tutorial – DIY video for realistic-looking cosplay monster feet. (Hat tip to pdq)

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Seen Online

June 11th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Guess who’s got 7 thumbs and a set of keys to a cadaver lab?

[fire alarm]
Hotel California manager: oh no

I’m goth enough to know that if you hear an out-of-tune piano start playing in an abandoned house, you go into that house.

I have a deep-seated fear of running water. Or any liquid with legs really.

TEMP AGENCY: Okay, so, based on past work experience, where would you say your strengths lies?
OOMPAH LOOMPAH: I’m good at singing after a child dies, if you have anything with that.

I love watching horror movies with a dog. I get scared but they’re just like, “hell yeah, bones”

a baby grand piano implies the existence of sex organs

*stifles a laugh as I put the sleeping Wicked Witch’s hand in a pan of warm water*

Just got back from the mutation lab and boy are my arms legs

Me: *cuts the box in half and spins both sides to show the audience*
[from the back of the wake] “dude”

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 2 Comments »

When the Moon Hits Your Eye Like a Big Pizza Pie That’s a Link Dump

June 7th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Ravens – Pretty photos of birbs, and an amusing punchline.

A Litter of Mimics – These are going in my next D&D campaign.

ArtBrothersGlass – Etsy shop offering lovely stained glass decorations and accessories, including things like bats and human hearts. (Not goth, but I love these astronauts).

Gimli and Legolas – There’s a fan theory that Gimli is an absolute Adonis amongst dwarves and Legolas is butt-ugly by elf standards and this comic and rant are all over that idea.

Horror-Themed Breakfast Cereals – I wasn’t going to post these parody cereals and then I hit “Fiber the 13th.”

Candy Corn Chocolate Chip Cookie Cake – This is lovely and Halloween-y and you should probably take a shot of insulin before even looking at the pictures.

Mossbadger – Offers limited edition garments and textiles like this awesome Garden Bat skirt.

CurseChain – An amusing Twitter thread.

These Colorful Piñatas Bring Medieval Monsters to Life – I assume that if you break one of these open, ichor pours out.

Epitaph – This translated ancient epitaph is incredibly poignant.

Posted in Link Dump | 2 Comments »

A Little Night Link Dump

May 31st, 2019 by Cobwebs

Abecedarian: Halloween – This site has tons of cool vintage artwork and photos. You can also find things tagged Grim Reaper, Bats, Witches, and lots more.

Modern Witch Tarot – Limited edition tarot deck with lovely artwork.

Lady Crafthole’s Cabinet of Crochet Curiosities – Crochet patterns for things like the Willendorf Venus and the Uffington White Horse.

Necromancer that doesn’t know they’re a necromancer and thinks they’re just a really good emt – Somebody wrote a short story in response to this and it’s pretty great. (Hat tip to pdq)

Ooze, Giant Shark Bowl – This D&D thread with a custom character is delightful.

Hammerhead Mermaid – The #MerMay hashtag on Twitter has tons of great art, but I especially like this creepy shark-maid.

How to Pattern a Plush Beetle – Video tutorial, including pattern, for a big huggable stag beetle.

Live-Tweeting The Toll – I may have to pick up Cherie Priest’s new horror novel entirely on the strength of this thread.

Hand X-Ray Cross-Stitch Pattern – Good-looking pattern for a bony hand. I like their I’m so hip, I’m an acetabulum pattern too.

Norse Goddesses – The artist who gave us pinup posters of Norse gods (Dat Ás) and Greek gods (Oh My Gods) gives us some extremely-badass-and-not-even-faintly-sexualized Norse goddesses.

Posted in Link Dump | 2 Comments »

Seen Online

May 28th, 2019 by Cobwebs

let me be clear, when you roll a 20 to seduce the monster, that is not you being so sexy that the monster becomes into you. that is you being so lucky that the monster’s first boyfriend looked a lot like you and they still have a lot of stuff to work out.

breast augmentation just means they make them bigger or smaller, it’s never anything cool like a robot eye or a poison dart launcher installed right in the boob

Baba Yaga
Scary Yaga
Sporty Yaga
Ginger Yaga
Posh Yaga

Kids putting their teeth under their pillows is the most occultist shit in the world. Yes, child, put the discarded bone under your pillow. if you are lucky the tiny demon will come and make her purchase. Sell your bones for riches, my child, your youth will be spent soon.

Supervillains announcing their plans is actually a union thing so they can’t be sued for damages someone else may commit at the same time

Spiders are goth sewing machines.

son: daddy, do you believe in the Boogie Man?
me: I used to, but not anymore
[from under the bed]: I forgot to pick you up from the airport ONE TIME!

There’s a Wikipedia article of “list of body parts named after people” and it’s great. Awards:
* Most Likely to be a Death Metal Band: Crypts of Lieberkühn
* Most Unfortunate Naming Choice: Sphincter of Oddi
* What Is This, Some Kind Of D&D Thing: Zonule of Zinn
* Hottest Medical Eponym: Apley grind test
* Most Likely To Be What Some Frat Bro Calls His Genitals: Bodansky unit
* Probably Secretly Some Gross Traditional British Food: Clutton’s joints

me criticizing fantasy settings in 2007: lmao none of this geography makes sense. and look at these names. this one has four apostrophes in it

me criticizing fantasy settings in 2017: has no one…has no one considered the matter of fishing rights


Posted in Funny Peculiar | 2 Comments »

Life is Just a Bowl of Link Dumps

May 24th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Glamourie – Book of knitting patterns for fanciful clothing. You can see photos of some of the patterns here.

Genderswapped Lord of the Rings – I love these speculative casting choices.

The Other Arachnids – A very cool roundup of non-spider arachnids.

Good Boy Stats – This Twitter thread of D&D monsters and whether or not they’re “good boys” is awesome, but @bryancamp’s comment “They’re all good boys, Mordenkainen.” is what really sent me over the edge.

Hen Wives, Spinsters, and Lolly Willowes – A look at the more domestic Wise Women.

Chicken Scratch – Custom drawings and calligraphy, including props for LARPing.

Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank – A short but amusing Twitter thread.

Mermaid Horror Stories – I can definitely see mermaids gathered around whatever the undersea equivalent of a campfire is, scaring each other with these.

Ashes to Art – Artist Bea Haines paints with human ashes.

Cute Creature – Great response to the writing prompt, “A creature designed to be ‘cute’, created by a god that does not fully understand what ‘cute’ looks like to humans.”

Posted in Link Dump | 2 Comments »

Mary Had a Little Link Dump

May 17th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Calavera Flatware – Silverware with a lovely skull design. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Any Thoughts on Elf Sexuality – The answer to this Tumblr Ask is now absolutely my headcanon.

Wingspan – Super cool knitting pattern for a shawl that looks like wings.

House Sitting for Ghosts – A small RPG with a cute premise.

Little Fears – This thread about an RPG campaign sounds really intriguing.

No Spoons Left – I don’t know the original source for this embroidery pattern, but the lines are simple enough that it’d be possible to reproduce it just from the photo.

Lisa Frankenstein – A pleasantly punny T-shirt.

Stress Tardigrade – Like a stress ball, but tardigrade-ier.

Drklght Clothing – Gothy T-shirts and accessories, including a small Disney section that gives no indication of being licensed so get it before the Mouse drops the hammer. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

The Enduring Legacy of Bunnicula – How the book came to be written, and why its legacy endures.

Posted in Link Dump | 5 Comments »

Sing a Song of Link Dumps

May 10th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Haunted Dollhouse – This eBay find is super cute. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Nice Prophecies – A tie-in Twitter account for the upcoming Good Omens miniseries.

Clown Monster Hunters – I would watch this series.

If you are reading this, aliens are not real – Neat little bit of microfiction.

Heavy Metal Kitties – Drawings of cats in T-shirts for metal bands like “Rage Against the Meowchine” and “Black Tabby.”

The Snake Artist – Artist Bill Flowers reinterprets famous paintings with snakes like The Birth of Venus and The Last Supper and A Sunday on La Grande Jatte. He’s also a “venomous snake wrangler.” And he’s Australian, which I feel like explains a lot.

Preserving a Loved One’s Tattoos After Death – Profile of a company which will remove and preserve tattooed skin so it can be framed or otherwise displayed.

Macabre Mansion – Lovingly detailed Poe-themed jigsaw puzzle.

Things from Paxton Gate – Cool photos and commentary from a shop that specializes in “natural curios” and “scientific novelties.”

The Addams Family Are Good People – I love this Tumblr thread.

Posted in Link Dump | 2 Comments »

Seen Online

May 7th, 2019 by Cobwebs

[an awkward minute passes as Death struggles to pick up change from the countertop]
Death: (embarrassed) ha ha slippery coins
Drugstore Clerk: nah man it’s cuz you got them bone hands

Your skeleton is just a gift that time slowly unwraps.

My son has reached an age where he’s becoming curious about the human body, so I think I’m gonna have to drag it out of the crawlspace and bury it behind the shed.

The worst part about insomnia is having to eat spiders while conscious

My outgoing message on my voicemail is 40 seconds of my dog licking himself. If you want to leave me a voicemail you’re gonna work for it.

[getting ready for plans I shouldn’t have made]
ME: *standing in shower opening and closing shower curtain* here, killer killer killer

“I see my assassins failed.”
-how I’m going to greet people from now on

if a ghost picks a fight with you keep your elbows tucked in aim for the soft spots and remember someone already killed that motherfucker once

i don’t go in bouncy castles because i’m afraid of bouncy dracula

When God closes a door, he opens a window, and that’s how all the angel squirrels got in here.

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 2 Comments »

Valley of the Link Dumps

May 3rd, 2019 by Cobwebs

Rootin’, tootin’, toil n’ shootin’ – This response to “cowboys are witches” is pretty great.

Nightmare Fuel – A newsletter about scary books.

Fashion History – An entertaining Twitter thread.

Bargain – A sweet, demonic short story by Sarah Gailey. There’s also a sequel, Rescue.

A haunted doll mistaking a creepy android to be a bigger, stronger, haunted doll… – I would watch this movie.

How to Be a Grave Digger – A look at the old-fashioned way to dig graves. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Simon Pegg to Adapt Rivers of London – Simon Pegg & Nick Frost’s production company Stolen Picture is adapting Ben Aaronovitch’s “epic fantasy drama” for TV.

Boris Groh – Artist who draws scenes full of wonderfully creepy monsters who are mostly…sort of sheepish and sweet. They can’t help that they look horrifying; they’re just awkward and want to be friends.

Wizards have the same trust in magic that software designers have in software – This post and the accompanying comments are my new headcanon.

DIY Bat Bow Tie – Instructions for making a bat-shaped bow tie.

Posted in Link Dump | 1 Comment »

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