The Art of Darkness

Link Dump Written in a Country Churchyard

August 16th, 2019 by Cobwebs

The World’s Greatest Villain – I would definitely read a comic book series based on this response to a writing prompt.

Horror Movie Daycare – This short from College Humor is an oldie but a goodie.

a hypothetical d&d party – What happens after the fairytales end.

Knitted Brain – This anatomically correct human brain knitted by a psychiatrist is amazing.

Skeleton – A pleasantly creepy story by Ray Bradbury.

hamlet, act 1, sc. 5 – This made me cackle.

The Cremation of Sam McGee – An entertainingly dramatic reading of the Robert W. Service poem.

Ask Your Father – Amusing webtoon.

Monsters of the Month – Illustrations of various weird little monsters. I especially like the Scorpkin.

Swedish Funeral Candy – I think we should bring back the concept of “funeral favors” immediately.

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The Link Dump of the Ancient Mariner

August 9th, 2019 by Cobwebs

The Six Types of Middle-Earth Names – “this is what the fanbase means when we say tolkien was a creative genius with language”

We Aren’t the Doc Brown Species – I completely approve of this take on how aliens would view humans.

Fae Harry Potter – I really like this headcanon about how the Hogwarts houses came into being.

Fungus Cross-Stitch – This message is both terrifying and awesome.

True Facts About the Fruit Bat – One of zefrank’s excellently-researched documentaries. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Vampire and Friend – This little ‘toon is delightful.

Dark Mori – There’s a variant on Mori Girl fashion centered around dark colors. As someone in this Twitter thread commented, it’s essentially ComfortGoth.

Recipes with Stories – This short Twitter thread and responses are entertaining.

For He Can Creep – “A dark fantasy about Jeoffry, a cat who fights demons, a poet, who is Jeoffry’s human confined to an insane asylum, and Satan, who schemes to end the world.”

@calkearns – This artist draws wonderfully demonic versions of cartoon animals like Snoopy.

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The Link Dump of J. Alfred Prufrock

August 2nd, 2019 by Cobwebs

Monster Standup Comedy – Amusing webtoon.

Cowgoth – I am here for this new subculture.

Florida Gothic – A collection of nicely creepy ficlets. Sequels are here and here

Crowley Brown – A Good Omens take on this Peanuts cartoon. There’s a followup here.

A Cleric Who is the Team Mom – I need this in my next D&D campaign.

Storiarts – Clothing and accessories featuring the work of famous authors, including H.P. Lovecraft, Shakespeare, and Bram Stoker. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

New Wizard: Baboonist – A splendid idea for a new D&D character class. (As submitterator extraordinaire Bruno phrased it, “Like a necromancer, but tropical.”)

Gender of the Day – Novelty Twitter account which “lets us outsource our feelings about gender to a bot, which I think should free up a lot of mental space for other things.” Today’s gender is a gleeful, skeletal naga.

Vulture Appreciation – Everyone should love these guys.

Prank Candles – Scented candles which smell nice until they burn for a while, then turn unexpectedly stinky.

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A Link Dump From Nowhere

July 26th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Making Manuscripts – The British Library’s YouTube channel has a series of videos detailing traditional methods of making writing-related items such as oak gall ink, vellum, and quills. (via tywkiwdbi)

Junk Journals – Interesting DIY for making “goblin” journals. (Edit: The fabulous pdq noted that the original link had gone south; updated to the Wayback Machine’s capture.)

MadmanOddities – Etsy shop full of weird, creepy sculptures. Check out the Siren Head sculpture by the same artist. (Hat tip to Bruno)

Pumpkin Spice Latte Cupcakes – Just in case you can’t wait until autumn.

Women of Harry Potter – Great series of shorts that dig into the fictional backstories of various women in the Harry Potter books.

Wild Violet Cross Stitch – Lots of cute cross-stitch patterns, many with gothy themes.

“Haunted” Houses – Photos of gorgeous abandoned buildings. Someday I want to set up a consortium of like-minded goths to buy a place like this, restore it so it’s structurally sound but still decayed-looking, and turn it into a B&B. (Hat tip to pdq)

Spirellity – Custom plushies of things like slugs and toads, some cute sewing patterns, and assorted artwork.

Cuddle Bugs – These drawings of people and their giant insect pets are super cute.

Sexy Vampires – An amusing Key & Peele sketch. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

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Seen Online

July 23rd, 2019 by Cobwebs

There are two wolves inside you. One is Virginia Woolf. The other is Beowulf. You are an Introduction to English Literature syllabus.

Me: my dad left to get cigarettes 20 years ago
My dad: [opening door] I was doing side quests

my body is less of a “temple” and more of a rotting 19th century mansion rumored to be haunted by several wicked and vengeful spirits

Ladyhawke, except instead of being a hawk, Michelle Pfeiffer is a furious goose.
hayBEARS (The rest of the thread is pretty great too.)

Have found myself going “oh, there’s a nice piece of furniture” while watching What We Do In The Shadows and also Only Lovers Left Alive recently and I’m slowly coming to the realization that I have the interior decorating sense of a set dresser shopping for a vampire house

principal: we called your dad
me: fuck
principal: he didn’t answer
me: oh nice
principal: so we called your grandpa
me: but he’s been dead for years
principal: too bad
me: what’d he say
principal: grandpa’s comin
me: what
*a chill wind blows*
principal: grandpa’s comin

So I bought lemonade from these little girls’ lemonade stand and as I was leaving one of them yelled “You’re welcome for the lemonade and good luck fighting the dragon!” so now I’m slightly concerned about how the rest of my day is going to go

Food Network Gothic
• You must beat Bobby Flay. He could be anywhere. Under your bed, in your car, standing right behind your door. He’s biding his time. But when he reveals himself, you Must. Beat. Him.
• The Wontons, long forgotten, haunt your every waking moment. Sometimes you wake up at night to the faint sound of bubbling oil.
• Nobody really leaves Flavor Town.
• Iron Chef. Titanium Chef. Diamond Chef. Carbon Fiber Chef.
• In every dark space, you see the glowing outline of Alton Brown’s grin. You can’t tell what his intentions are.
• The Chairman somersaults through your dreams, cackling.

Concept: with the trend toward smaller family sizes in the modern era, certain prognostically significant genealogical configurations have gone from rare to practically nonexistent, to the point that incumbent destinies are increasingly obliged to take what they can get. So it is that our intrepid protagonist, as the only seventh daughter of a seventh daughter for several thousand miles in any direction, finds herself the simultaneous Chosen One of four unrelated and seemingly mutually exclusive prophesies.

[using Ouija board]
“yo Chad, can you hear us?”
“this is gonna take a while, Chad died in 1999.”

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

A Link Dump of Mars

July 19th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Embroidered Monster Waistcoat – These twee little monsters could be similarly embroidered on other articles of clothing.

Live-Action Warhammer 40K TV Series – Frank Spotnitz, who adapted The Man in the High Castle for TV, is helming a live-action TV show based around the character of Gregor Eisenhorn.

Monstrum – YouTube series by PBS which explores monsters, myths, and legends. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

We Sang You As Ours – Intriguing short story about an eldritch mermaid’s coming of age.

Bat Garter Belt – Cute li’l googly-eyed stocking suspenders.

Caverna do Dragão – This Brazilian Renault ad brings the mid-80s cartoon Dungeons & Dragons to life, and it is sort of brilliant. (Hat tip to Bruno, who also mentioned the MeFi comment, “Generally I expect product placements in movies, not the other way around.”)

Cement Orb – DIY for a neat garden feature that looks like an ancient artifact.

Enchanted Knitting Needles – An interesting writing prompt and response.

Witch Babies – I like this explanation of where new witches come from.

Herb Graveyard – Not everyone has access to a laser cutter, but something similar to these cute li’l tombstone plant markers could be made by hand.

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A Link Dump Upon the Deep

July 12th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Mouse Amigurumi – Free crochet pattern for ridiculously cute tiny mice. Beware the thicket of “click here, no really” ad links. (via Spooky Moon)

Dracula – An amusing Tumblr thread.

Magical Moles’ Feet – Interesting article on the use of mole paws as magical amulets.

Dead and Rad – A roundup of War and Peas’ “Reaper” cartoons.

Lost Media Archive: Saint-Saëns – Danse Macabre Halloween Film Strip – Those of us of a certain age will remember watching “filmstrips” in elementary school. This one is nostalgically spooky. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Gothic Halloween Nail Art – It even glows in the dark!

Amos and the Water Serpent – Illustrated story inspired by The Circus of Dr. Lao. (Also, if you haven’t read The Circus of Dr. Lao you definitely should go do that.)

Coexisting With The Fair Folk Who Have Taken Up Residence In/Around/Beneath Your University: A How-To Guide – Great ‘toon.

Goth at 40 – Article and MeFi commentary on “The enduring appeal of bleakness and black lipstick.” (Hat tip to Bruno)

How My Little Toddler Girl Conquered a Haunted Funhouse – This is hilarious.

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Link Dump to the Stars

July 5th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Sandman TV Series a Go at Netflix – Netflix will be adapting Neil Gaiman’s “Sandman” work.

Frankenstein’s (Monster’s) Anatomy – An amusing Tumblr thread.

The Executioners Who Inherited Their Jobs – Interesting article about a family affair. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

#SixWordHorror – A thread of six-word horror stories.

Peaches the Mouse – Free tutorial for making a cute stuffed mousie friend.

Tooth Fairies – I love this artwork.

Heroic Bimbofication – This series of ‘toons about Greek heroes is marvelous.

Magic for Liars – A fantasy/detective noir novel by the excellent Sarah Gailey.

Anatomy Swimsuit – This swimsuit printed with internal organs is fantastic.

Halloween Party Invitation – This would be hard to scale up for a big party, but for a small gathering it’s a brilliant idea.

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Good Link Dumps

June 28th, 2019 by Cobwebs

Hogwarts Express – This DIY makeover for a child’s bedroom is really clever.

How to Bang your Monster – “A place for monsters/aliens and the people who love to bang them.” (NSFW)

Preya Mask – Crotchet pattern for an insanely detailed “Predator” balaclava.

Paranormal Home Inspectors – I love both the fictional concept and the fact that there’s an actual damn show.

Horror Vanguard – A goth podcast of “leftist politics and horror films.” (Hat tip to Bruno)

Malicious Women Candle Co. – Candles with names like “My Favorite Season Is The Fall Of The Patriarchy” and “Bitches Get Shit Done.” Burn the patriarchy.

Cosplay in America – Tumblr devoted to cosplay culture in the U.S. I sort of love this Lucy and Ethel duo.

The Casebooks Project – “In the decades around 1600, the astrologers Simon Forman and Richard Napier produced one of the largest surviving sets of medical records in history. The Casebooks Project, a team of scholars at the University of Cambridge, has transformed this paper archive into a digital archive.” (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Queen of the Seas – Gorgeous sculpture of a tentacular mermaid.

Plush Mayhem – Etsy shop full of adorable plush critters like nudibranchs and bats.

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The Link Dump of Sleepy Hollow

June 21st, 2019 by Cobwebs

Rock Eye Peepers – Cute DIY project for garden ornaments that look like rocks giving you the side-eye.

Realistic Harry Potter – An excellent Twitter thread about more plausible reactions to some of the plot points in Harry Potter.

Temples Are Built for Gods – A very sweet response to a writing prompt.

Insect Penis Dildos – This artist makes 3D printed dildos shaped like various insect penises. I don’t even know where to begin with this. (NSFW, obvs.)

Spider Cup – Ceramic mug with a spider in the bottom. The same company has several other designs, including dragons.

Dioramas of Death – A Tokyo woman who works for a cleaning company makes models of rooms where people have died alone.

Dugite Scarf – Free knitting pattern for a snuggly li’l snake scarf.

Goreytelling – A series of short animations based on previously unpublished audio recordings of Edward Gorey. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Person-Eating Puppet Couch – If you’ve got an old sofa you don’t know what to do with, you could turn it into an amazing haunted house prop.

Attack-o’-Lantern – Great idea for pumpkin carving.

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