The Art of Darkness


March 26th, 2014 by Cobwebs

FlapThulhuWhen Flappy Bird hit the scene, developer madgarden realized that it was sorely lacking in lurking horrors. The remedy for that was FlapThulhu, featuring the most adorable little 8-bit Old One that you’ve ever seen.

Flap through the horrible gates of R’lyeh and unleash the Madness to open a portal to the eldritch dimension… or will the madness take you?

It’s available for name-your-own-price download at Itch (currently only for Windows, but Mac and Linux are in the works). It’s also just been made available in the Apple Store.

The same developer has a couple of other interesting games, including Eggnog, described as a “local multiplayer stabbing game,” which may be one of my favorite game descriptions of all time; and Saucelifter, in which you pilot a UFO in hopes of saving your stranded crewmates from the aggressive Earth military.

FlapThulhu. Sooo cute.

(via BoingBoing)

Posted in Needful Things | 1 Comment »

Seen Online

March 25th, 2014 by Cobwebs

Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough
Lit Pimp Queen

Seven Deadly Sins (updated): PWN’D, NOM, FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU, WANT, WANT, WANT, and meh.

“You’re not the person I fell in love with!” is a fun thing to say to anyone who isn’t the person you fell in love with.

A good way to make a car dealer uncomfortable is to say, “Tell me if you can hear this,” and then get in the trunk and start screaming.

I make sure people who claim they don’t have time for my nonsense remember they weren’t doing much when I found them so actually, they do.

Roses are black
Violets are white
I’m a dog

SCIENCE FACT: Your throat hurts when you’re sick because your white blood cells have brought out tiny swords and are dueling with the germs.

It’s weird how after they couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together the King’s men were like “Let’s give the horses a shot at it”

I’m not a cyber-bully but I did change my WiFi network name to “I CAN SEE WHAT YOU ARE GOOGLING STEVE”. Sleep well neighbor. Sleep well.

Yesterday: Used poor grammar on multiple occasions.
Today: Hiding from grammar zombies in the attic.

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 2 Comments »

Rootless Heart

March 24th, 2014 by Cobwebs

This stop-motion animation by Toshiko Hata won the 2012 Jury’s Choice for Short Film at the 2012 Puchon Inter­na­tional Fan­tas­tic Film Fes­ti­val. It is creepy in the way that only Japanese films seem to be able to pull off.

(via Cat)

Posted in Whatever | 1 Comment »

House of 1000 Link Dumps

March 21st, 2014 by Cobwebs

Fairy Hunter – This awesome artwork from Davesrightmind depicts one of the natural predators of fairies.

Head in a Jar – Easy, striking kid’s costume, which appears to be inspired by this how-to guide. xJane, who sent the link, plans to make a Marie Antoinette version for herself.

Horror Fiction – A good roundup of vintage-y, free, fiction.

Creepy Skull Slouch Hat – Crochet pattern for a hat full of li’l skulls.

Steampunk “Thing” – Lovely sculpture which reimagines the Addams Family “Thing” as a clockwork hand.

8 Hilariously Nonthreatening Monsters from Japanese Folklore – A list of creatures who are somewhat less horrifying than ghostly long-haired little girls.

Armor Corsets – Although these look like they’d be rather ouchy to sit down in, they’re undeniably lovely.

Freya Jobbins – Artist who makes sculptures out of doll parts. A little NSFW; really damn creepy.

Colorized History – There’s a whole subReddit devoted to colorizing old photos. LEAP provides a small sample.

Skull Cake – Easy way to make understated skull-and-crossbones designs in icing. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Posted in Link Dump | 5 Comments »

DIY Steampunk Medals

March 20th, 2014 by Cobwebs

MedalsA lot of steampunk costumes have a military bent, making a chestful of medals de rigeur. They’re a popular DIY item, so tutorials are abundant, but most of the ones I’ve seen either start with a premade ribbon (which limits your decorative options) or require you to go through way too many steps to achieve the desired effect. I’ve done a (hopefully simpler) take on the technique. I gothed things up a bit with my choice of pendants, so you can wear these and sneer, “That’s Admiral Frankenstein to you.”

These go together really fast, so after you fill your uniform with them, you can make extras for personalized party favors or just to award randomly to friends and co-workers (“For meritorious service in clearing the copier jam, I present you this medal of honor”).

All the gory details are right here.

Posted in Doom It Yourself | 3 Comments »

Meet the Meat

March 19th, 2014 by Cobwebs

Dinosaur MeatTwo odd “meaty” things have come across my purview lately, which is my cue to pretend they’re related and try to hang a post on them.

The first was a wonderful refrigerator ad campaign done in Germany. Bosch’s “VitaFresh” technology promises to keep food fresher longer, so they placed packages of “fresh dinosaur meat” in supermarkets to hyperbolically illustrate how long they could keep food fresh.

I adore this kind of fake-artifact thing; the packaged “meat” puts me in mind very much of the products sold in 826 stores. It wouldn’t be terribly difficult to create something similar out of carved styrofoam and/or polymer clay, and they’d make awesome decorations at a time travel-themed party.

The other meat-related thing is BiteLabs, an organization which purports to grow meat from “celebrity tissue samples” and use it to make artisanal salami.

We start with top-quality ingredients, and time-honored recipes for the creation of fine cured meats. We mix celebrity and animal meats, grown in house through a proprietary culturing process, into curated salami blends. Starting with biopsied myoblast cells, we grow our healthy, rich, meats in Bite Labs’ own bioreactors.

Our process yields high-quality, luxury protein, in a sustainable manner that eliminates the environmental and ethical concerns associated with traditional livestock production.

Much like the Bonsai Kittens of old they play it completely straight, with blurbs touting their “vision” for a healthier planet and a request that fans urge their favorite celebrity to contribute cells. There’s even a wish list of celebrities they particularly want to incorporate in their sausages, along with a description of what each product would taste like. The Ellen Degeneres salami, for instance: “As a salami, we see Ellen Salami composition blended with ostrich. Black pepper and garlic with a playful kick of mustard give the Ellen salami a highly approachable and well-rounded flavor. A hint of brandy and shallots will finish off the Ellen salami in exquisite fashion.”

It’s an amusing trip down the rabbit hole, and it’d be fun to see how many friends you could convince that it was legitimate. Even better, serve salami at your next party and then provide a printed “fact sheet” about which celebrity sausage your friends had just eaten. (Shadow Manor takes no responsibility for lost friendships or punches in the nose which may result from this suggestion.)

Posted in Paint It Black | 2 Comments »

Caption This

March 18th, 2014 by Cobwebs

I’m feeling silly today, so I’m going to resurrect a feature from the old SF site I used to maintain. Each month we posted a screen grab from a cheesy movie and invited readers to write their own captions. One of my favorites was this shot from Dark City:

Dark City

For which Shadow Jack submitted this:

As Freddy stumped wearily through the door after another fruitless day of job-searching, Jennifer couldn’t help wondering, once again, what her life might have been like if only she had married the Goblin King instead.

Get the idea? Want to play along? Submit your own caption in the comments!

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 4 Comments »

Pluto and the Vessel

March 17th, 2014 by Cobwebs

Harrison Browning’s creepy stop-motion short Pluto and the Vessel is “both homage to early science fiction horror tropes and as a personal contemplation on the impossible differentiation between containers and their contents.”

Posted in Whatever | No Comments »

Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Link Dump

March 14th, 2014 by Cobwebs

MYX – Lampshades made of fibrous substrate upon which you grow mushrooms. Well, it’s…original. (Hat tip to Cookie)

Lestat Returns – Anne Rice has announced a new vampire novel, Prince Lestat.

Deep Dark Fears – A growing collection of cartoons providing a whole bunch of new things to worry about.

Star Wars Tarot – A fun, fan-made deck. I love these Star Trek Tarot prints, too.

Dragon Faucet – Attractive antique brass faucet fixture.

Old School Creepy – SubReddit of creepy vintage photos.

NMBC Mayor Lamp – Great repaint of a thrift-store lamp.

Something Wicked This Way Comes to be Remade – Nooooooo……

Victorian/Gothic Mansion with Spaceship Attic – Something something best of both worlds something.

Nicki Hitz Edson – Artist who makes amazing crocheted masks. Her Medusa and dragon are my favorites.

Posted in Link Dump | 2 Comments »

Miniature Dead Things

March 13th, 2014 by Cobwebs

Dead Leprechaun

Just in time for St. Patrick’s Day, look at this cute li’l guy.

This mummified leprechaun, complete with remnants of ginger hair and clutching a gold coin, is one of several miniature gaffs made by Lynne of Footsteps in the Wind. She’s also got miniature skeletal mermaids and demons.

These guys are kindred spirits to my mummified fairy, and I’m kicking myself for not thinking of this idea. You could put together a whole collection of mummified supernatural fauna.

The mermaid rather puts me in mind of a fossil, and an interesting display idea might be to present it as such: Glue it to a flat piece of shale (available in the outdoor department of many hardware stores), blend the edges into the stone with polymer clay or papier-mache, and spray-paint to make it look like it’s been carefully chipped out of the matrix.

You could use tattered miniature clothing and accessories to create mummified gnomes, imps, tooth fairies, pixies, and many others. Display individual specimens in shadowboxes or bell jars, or fill a curio cabinet with a whole collection. If you’re feeling particularly macabre, you could display them as though they were live specimens who had died of neglect–a mermaid in an empty goldfish bowl, or a gnome in a jar with the scrawled note, “Air holes….”

Posted in Needful Things | 3 Comments »

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