If I’m ever being followed in a car, I’m gonna go to a fast food drive-thru and test their commitment.
— rShowerThoughts

When Frankenstein Jr. was kidnapped, his father cunningly just waited for the kidnappers to send him all the bits.
— OhLookBirdies

There’s a foster home for body parts in my neighbourhood and it’s raising a lot of eyebrows.
— DurtMcHurtt

A baby werewolf would be great, as one day a month, your baby would turn into a puppy!
— ShowerThoughts

People always slam elevator music and that’s very hurtful to those of us who have spent years learning to play the elevator.
— Tmoney68

Late at night leave some broken, muddy planks outside an undertakers with a note: “Your puny coffins cannot hold me. I shall return.”
— thewritertype

If you’re about to be turned into stone by Medusa, strike a hilarious pose and at least lighten things up for the next guy.
— badbanana

I get home and realize where my house stood a shark now sits dressed as a house with its mouth open
Shark:[nervously makes house noises]
— upsidedowntrash

If the movie “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids” took place in Australia, those kids would have died real fucking quick.
— rShowerThoughts

“The Monster Mash” is my favorite song about a scientist making excuses to his wife for coming home late and smelling of monster.
— rolldiggity