The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

April 27th, 2020 by Cobwebs

Thesis: vampires are so melodramatic as a form of behavioural infosec. While their bewildering collections of odd mannerisms make it easy to clock them as vampires, they also make it extremely difficult to tell which of those mannerisms stem from some esoteric weakness or strange limitation on their vampire powers, and which are just them being extra.
prokopetz

You are only called Doctor if you are from the doctorate region of academia, otherwise it’s just sparkling nerd.
Constababble

Werewolf: *transforming* You have to go, now! I don’t want you to see me like this…
Human s/o: Don’t push me away! I’m not afraid of you!!
Werewolf: No no I’m just really dumb as a wolf and I don’t want you to see me bark at a mirror for two hours
mydearestmonster

SARUMAN (kneeling before a Palantir): What is thy will, Sauron, lord of Middle-Earth?
BURNING EYE: BUILD ME AN ARMY WORTHY OF-
MR. SNEEBLES: mew
BURNING EYE: WHAT IS THAT
SARUMAN: Forgive Mr. Sneebles, lord! I’ll move him.
BURNING EYE: NO, NO. I TOTALLY WANT TO SEE THE CAT
scottlynch78

“Open Mike Night” sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I’d been invited to an autopsy.
Diversion50

Advice podcast in a fantasy setting with questions like “I love my werewolf girlfriend but she has a fierce territorial dispute with the neighbour’s St Bernard. How can I let my girlfriend know I’m on her side and I love her but also let her know that I think she shouldn’t be arguing with a literal puppy without upsetting her”
dajo42

ME *traps wasp under a cup*
MAGICIAN GHOST WHO HAUNTS ME: *appears & sets down 2 more cups*
ME: no
MAGICIAN GHOST: *starts to shuffle them*
iamspacegirl

a “horror” movie about a demon baby, but the parents are chill with it and treat them normally.

“There’s a circle of fire on the front lawn” “Looks like it’s somebody’s naptime”

“Hon, the baby’s on the ceiling again.” “Hold on, i’ll get the broom”

“The baby’s speaking in strange tongues” “Raising children bilingually has so many benefits”

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

Of course I have body issues, I can’t turn into a fucking wolf.
DothTheDoth

Don’t let anyone tell you that collecting baseball cards or golf balls or stamps or wine corks is somehow more valid or acceptably grownup than collecting plush owls or swords or animal bones found in the woods or the souls of the dead. It’s not.
MageOfSolitude

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