The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

August 31st, 2011 by Cobwebs

After divorce, don’t burn the wedding dress. Wear it on a first date, then suggest a walk to the graveyard to “pick up the flowers.”
emirkr

Hey actors in future horror movies: he’s right behind you.
JordyHamrick

If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say,”Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot”, you are wasting everybody’s time.
reddit

holy shit i’m filled with blood
robdelaney

Never underestimate a person inching toward a goal out of pure, unadulterated spite.
TheThryll

so basically the play opens with hamlet being real snippy to his stepdad
and then his pal Horatio
whose job is to stoke Hamlet’s retard fires with plenty of idiot coal
shows up all like HEY HAMLET COME HERE I SAW THE GHOST OF YOUR DAD
and hamlet is like BULLSHIT LEMME SEE
OH SHIT THAT’S TOTALLY MY DAD’S GHOST OVER THERE
HE’S TELLING ME TO KILL MY UNCLE
GOOD THING I ALWAYS LISTEN WHEN GHOSTS TELL ME TO KILL PEOPLE
guys when was the last time a ghost told you to do something constructive
like run the dishwasher or do yoga
i feel like ghosts only ever give bad advice
Myths RETOLD

Screw peace on earth, if I had one wish it’d be for Christopher Walken to come to my house, tuck me in and tell me a bedtime story.
Jason_maybe

Emo hipsters cut themselves with a really obscure knife you probably haven’t heard of yet.
donni

Just once I’d like to see a girl dressed in leopard print bite the head off a girl dressed in zebra print.
lianamaeby

I’m calling it now, Justin Bieber will star in a Back To The Future reboot where in he travels all the way back to the late 1980’s.
Line of dialogue from Bieber’s Back to The Future: “Kurt. Kurt. It’s Marvin- Your cousin, Marvin. Marvin COBAIN…. ”
MoorishDignity

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 3 Comments »

3 Responses

  1. xJane Says:

    ::goes to buy parrot::

    Also this. (Just the prologue—I did not, in fact, know that was illegal.)

  2. LimeyFish Says:

    If, however, you have a pet carrot, you’re pretty much wasting your time teaching it anything.

  3. Lunar Says:

    Can that last one count since the Simpsons did something similar with Homer’s grunge band? lol

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