The Art of Darkness

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September 27th, 2011 by Cobwebs

Soulmate sounds like something Satan puts in his coffee.

If you never break eye contact, I assume you want to wear my skin.

There aren’t any girl magicians because we burned them all.

Just because God doesn’t answer your prayers it doesn’t mean he’s not listening. It probably just means you’re boring. Maybe try incorporating car chases into your prayers. Or something with vampires. Vampires are really hot right now.
The Bloggess

Don’t commit suicide alone. That’s selfish! Make people pay money toward the national debt to see you fight a rhinoceros with a banana.

No one talks about how Hogwarts is a VOCATIONAL SCHOOL

There’s a Marilyn Manson video directed by Shia LaBeouf. That’s the joke. That’s it right there.

Two of the heads melted at the end of Raiders, while one exploded. Why? Something to do with diet?

“Love is patient, love is kind, love is…CALLING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!” – The Spooky Bible

I used to sneak into my stepkids rooms and tell them I was murdered years ago and I needed them to find my killer. They’d cry SO much! Cute!

Cauliflower is Broccoli’s deformed sibling that grew up chained to a post in the backyard.

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