The Art of Darkness

Better New Year’s Resolutions

December 29th, 2011 by Cobwebs

You know what’s wrong with New Year’s Resolutions? Other than the fact that we’re choosing a completely arbitrary division of time to determine when we should try to improve our lives? They’re boring. Lose weight? Boring. Save money? Boring. Get more sleep? Bo-ring.*

I’m thinking that in addition to these sorts of meat-and-potatoes resolutions, everybody needs to make a really fun, frivolous one. Something that isn’t too expensive or time-consuming that perhaps you’ve thought about doing but never attempted because it would be out of character for you, or you don’t know how to get started, or you’re worried about what the neighbors would think, or you just can’t muster the motivation, or [fill in your favorite excuse here].

So here’s what I want you to do: Come up with something within your time and budget constraints that you’d really like to do, and resolve to do that thing this year. Think less “long-term self-improvement” and more “this sounds like fun.” Research the perfect design for a tattoo you’ve always wanted. Dye your hair some outrageous shade. Plan and throw a really good Halloween party. Add at least one spooky accent to a decorating scheme. Plant an herb garden and use miniature tombstones as plant markers. You get the idea.

My goal is to learn to play the ukulele. What’s yours?


*Note that I didn’t say these things weren’t necessary. I said they were boring.

Posted in Whatever | 6 Comments »

6 Responses

  1. Bruno Says:

    Good luck with the ukulele! :-)

    I’m quite fond of the “hell, why not” mentality. It got me the first 3 sessions of my first tattoo this year (another 3 sessions to go). It also got me to throw a Día de Los Muertos themed Halloween party. So that makes me halfway through your list of suggestions. Hair, herb garden, brace yourselves!

  2. Greasycog Says:

    The Mrs. and I are already celebrating “Talk Like A Pirate Day” with the kids so this year we intend to create, decorate and celebrate a day for each of the themes of “Spy” and “Robot” (along with other potential theme days).

  3. pensive Says:

    I’m with Bruno on this one. “Hell, why not?” is second nature around here. Tattoos? Check. Hair dye? Check. Party? Check. Herb garden is already in a witchy sort of theme, but tombstones might be pretty…

    I think what I’ll resolve to do is worry MORE about what the neighbors would think. Now THAT would be completely out of character. And since we have a convicted pedophile and a woman who got fired from her job in a high school for sexting with students as neighbors… it could also be interesting.

  4. Sisifo Says:

    I’m going for the tombstones as plant markers. I have a knack for killing anything green, so if they all die it can all be a part of my elaborate scheme of making the yard look especially spooky. “Here lyes y’ remains of Thyme and Rosemary.” Yep. It’ll look great.

  5. Jessica Says:

    In 2012, I want to find someone to apprentice me. I’ve always wanted to stab people, and piercing just seems to fit. Plus, I’m not totally retarded when it comes to this subject.

    And if that fails, I’m thinking about learning to play the violin.

  6. xJane Says:

    I am in love with some of these resolutions! I resolve to make it to at least one con this year and up the incidence of me appearing in full steampunk gear.

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