The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

January 25th, 2012 by Cobwebs

I don’t go to the mailbox because that’s where the Responsibility Monster lives.
Hadzilla

If someone catches you staring blankly into space & asks you what you’re looking at, shush them & whisper “ghost porn.”
IamEnidColeslaw

It’d be fun to release a gorilla in a gorilla suit at the mall and see the look on security’s face when they pull off that first mask.
DearAnyone

Mine’s the USS Everyone Gets Home Safe. RT @scottEweinberg: Prometheus. Icarus. Daedalus. Parsimonious. #badnamesforspaceships
The No Aliens Allowed. The Nobody Dies. The Sunshine Unicorn. The Punch and Pie. #myscifispaceship
cleolinda (More collected here)

Correct me if I’m wrong, but babies are the only parasites people keep and raise as pets after removing them from their bodies, right?
BadAdviceNurse

Marsha is a beautiful name for a supervillainess with an army of frogs.
sween

Tried to donate blood today but they had too many questions about where I got it.
badbanana

Sometimes I fear that none of my work matters and I’m actually in this office so aliens can feed me coffee and harvest my pee.
tehawesome

Those first two guys who thought Superman was a bird or a plane… ? What the fuck were they so excited about?
shariv67

If I was a cab driver, I’d whisper “I could have kept you” to passengers before they got out.
sucittaM

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 3 Comments »

3 Responses

  1. Sisifo Says:

    I love every one of these, but the, “I could have kept you,” killed me. Best. Line. Ever.

  2. pensive Says:

    oh my god you find the funny! love love love!

    tag, you’re it. now answer my questions, beotch. (read them on my blog)

  3. xJane Says:

    Sitting here nursing the cold I caught from my good friend’s little disease vector, this hit home particularly hard:

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but babies are the only parasites people keep and raise as pets after removing them from their bodies, right?
    – BadAdviceNurse

    Even if her only two teeth are her eye teeth, making her the world’s cutest vampire.

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