The Art of Darkness

Brace Yourselves

December 26th, 2011 by Cobwebs

This isn’t goth, but you better believe it qualifies as horror.

The Star Wars Holiday Special has been spoken of in hushed tones in geek circles since its release. It was a naked cash grab by George Lucas trying to capitalize on the success of Star Wars, and it was so bad it damn near scuttled the movie franchise. No really. As Rob over on Topless Robot, where I found this turkey, put it:

The Star Wars Holiday Special is an atrocity against god and man. You think it’s going to be so bad it’s good, but it’s not — it’s so bad that nothing in life ever seems quite as good again.

He’s not kidding, you guys. Bea Arthur runs the Mos Eisley Cantina (and sings!). Diahann Carroll is a virtual reality sex slave for Wookiees. Han Solo is oddly huggy. Leia is clearly drugged out of her mind. It’s…special.

And here’s the whole damn thing, complete with commercials from 1978. You are welcome.

(via Topless Robot)

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 4 Comments »

4 Responses

  1. Burning Prairie Says:

    I couldn’t get past the horrible matte painting of Chewbacca’s house. I didn’t want yet another precious childhood memory dashed by Lucas’ questionable taste. I know, why doesn’t he turn one of the best, most menacing movie villains into a whiny teenager who turned bad just to rebel against his father-figure and because “it’s not fair, wah!” Oh yeah, he already did that.

  2. Janice Says:

    Mercifully, I’ve forgotten a lot about the hideous, mind-sucking 70’s and 80’s. Oh, why fool myself, every decade of last century was miserable in its own special way. But this particular holiday “special” reminded me why we (and everyone who starred in this special) did drugs at every opportunity throughout those two decades.

  3. Janice Says:

    Okay, I take that back. I have no idea of what any of the actors may have been doing during that shoot. I’m just saying that the program would be much better with codeine. Say, wasn’t that Corex in the medicine cabinet commercial?

  4. joasakura Says:

    I spent an HOUR going back and forth from this post going “do I want to watch this again? I remember this from being a kid. It’s vague, but it left me with an indelible sense of WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH?” even then.

    I eventually opted to NOT watch it, because I ended up not being drunk enough to cushion the mental trauma.

    …maybe for some birthday masochism… >.>;;

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