The winner, Grand Champion Division, for Knitted Thing I Would Never Even Think of Making into a Knitted Thing, goes to the Anticraft for their knitted teratoma.

They even include instructions for making the random body parts–such as teeth and eyeballs–that are occasionally found inside of a real teratoma. Also listed are several songs appropriate for singing to one’s knitted teratoma. Like you do.

I’m a teratoma, short and stout;
Here is my handle, here is my snout;
When I get all steamed up and I shout,
Poke a finger in and pull stuff out!

I happen to sport a very large scar received from the removal of a teratoma.* If I’d had this pattern then, I’d have been tempted to make one as a gift for my doctor. Now all I can do is sit slack-jawed with amazement.

Link (via William the Coroner)


*The strangest look I have ever received from anybody came from my surgeon, when she explained the procedure and asked me if I had any questions. I said, “If this thing has teeth, can I have them?” Her reaction indicated that she had never been asked that question before, ever. I was serious, though. Wouldn’t that be a great icebreaker at cocktail parties? “Hi, I’m Cobwebs. You’ll never believe where these teeth came from.” But I digress.