The Art of Darkness


May 28th, 2012 by Cobwebs

blk.I was just going to stick this in a link dump, but the product description is so wonderfully coy that it makes me giggle.

Blk is spring water, “naturally” dyed black by “fulvic minerals:”

Blk Beverages Black Spring Water’s proprietary blend of Fulvic Minerals (a derivative of plant matter) are mined from a 70 million year old source deep within the earth. Naturally black in color, Blk Beverages Spring Water’s formula binds to the molecules of Blk Beverages pure Canadian Spring Water turning it naturally black, with no artificial dyes, coloring, or additives. Fulvic Minerals are critical in growth of plant life, helping the transportation and absorption of nutrients.

The strangely-vague “derivative of plant matter” and fact that it’s naturally black rang a faint bell, and a quick check reveals that “fulvic” is essentially another name for “humic,” and that’s peat moss. It’s rotting plant material. Yum!

It’s apparently not harmful, and indeed is occasionally used as a nutritional supplement. I’m just amused at the way all of their marketing literature carefully omits any mention of what the stuff really is.

Anyway, if you’re so frickin’ goth that you want the very water you drink to be black, it’s available on Amazon. Stick a few in the cooler at your next party and watch your guests’ reactions.

(via Neatorama)

Posted in Needful Things | 4 Comments »

4 Responses

  1. xJane Says:

    Sounds like a great ingredient in gothy drinks (especially the virgin ones). Or just use it to make up OJ/lemonade from concentrate.

  2. Kitten Says:

    Just FYI….. it is quite possibly THE most disgusting thing to drink on the planet.

    I work in a grocery store in inventory control, and all new items pretty much go through my department to get crammed onto the shelf…. somewhere. This crap arrived, and, of course, my boss and I thought it would be such a great idea to try a bottle. It’s not bad as you sip it, but it leaves an absolutely god awful after taste.

    Pass on it. Trust me. Sooooo gross.

  3. Sisifo Says:

    This would be fun to have a few bottles of in the fridge next to some True Blood at the next get together. Wonder how hot chocolate would taste if I used this. Hmmm…

  4. cookie Says:

    I’m sure that it will taste like you’ve been sipping at a puddle in the backyard BUT as fulvic acid is a natural chelator it does have true health benefits as it will rid your body of toxic metals; mercury ( think silver fillings ), lead ( car exhaust ), aluminum ( cooking foil and pots )and barium, boron, and a few others that escape me now but the common denominator is that they are all harmful. If one wishes a less distasteful version or wants to make their own BLK, fulvic acid is sold in most health food stores in gel caps. Just as an aside, it is the fulvic acid water in peat bogs that preserves the occasional pre-historic corpse that pops up in the news from time to time so I suppose if one wished to appear a fresh juicey corpse a few centuries from now then stock up on BLK and invest in a large water-proof container for your surviving kinfolk to inter you in once you shuffle off this mortal coil. Bottoms up!

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