The Art of Darkness

Secret Santa Can Suck It: My Gift

December 13th, 2012 by Cobwebs

The matches for our Secret Santa Can Suck It exchange have been made and sent to their assignees. After everyone posts about their “gift,” I’ll list all of the entries to peruse. To kick things off, here’s mine.

My giftee is Pensive Pumpkin. Rivaling her love of spooky things is her love of running, so my gift is a spooky running package.

We’ll start with a new workout wardrobe, with skulls featuring prominently:


Goth Workout Clothes

Next, a new iPhone…


iPhone


…loaded with helpful workout apps, including Zombies, Run!.

After that, an extended trip to Europe to participate in the marathons of her choice and spend her downtime visiting gothy locales like cemeteries and catacombs and castles.

Finally, she needs a personal trainer and workout buddy, and really the best possible choice would be Alan Rickman, whose bona fides are easily seen in clips like this and this (both NSFW). He’ll be available as necessary for morale-boosting and soothing massages.

Alan Rickman

Happy Holidays, Pensive! I hope you enjoy my “gift!”

Posted in Whatever | 3 Comments »

3 Responses

  1. pensive Says:

    I can really think of nothing on Earth (save the avoidance of WWIII) that would make me happier than this. I’ve always been rather invisible, but apparently I’ve evolved into transparency- because you read my mind and hit that nail right on the head. THANK YOU!!!

  2. pensive Says:

    and can I just say that whomever put together that second video kind of scares me? whoa, nelly. calm down. LOL

  3. xJane Says:

    All you really needed to get her, you know, was Alan Rickman porn. The rest is just gravy. (But now she’ll be easier to find when I see runners in her area, tee hee.)

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