The Art of Darkness

Ghost Singles

October 9th, 2013 by Cobwebs

Ghost SinglesLong, long ago, in the early days of the World Wide Web, setting up a website was: a) Difficult and b) Expensive. Today it is neither, and although that means that any tinfoil-hat-wearing yahoo can set up a site claiming that the Royal Family is actually a bunch of lizard people from Zeta Reticuli, it also means that anybody with a silly idea like a dating service for ghosts can run with it. I think the tradeoff is worth it.

Ghost Singles is a site where girl ghosts can meet boy ghosts in hopes of becoming soulmates (:::rimshot:::). And they play it totally straight. From the privacy statement (“We understand that just because you float around in nothing but your nightgown night after night doesn’t mean you want anything less than total privacy.”) to contact information that includes “Gypsy” (“Wispy smoke followed by three swirls (crystal ball), or tea leaves in the shape of a goat”), the site never breaks character. Here’s part of their “Dating Tips” page:

Etiquette

By now you’ve learned that your fellow phantoms come from many eras; some may be hundreds of years old, or more! This means that cultural standards will vary widely; what may have been taboo in your generation might be the norm in the one a few generations from now.

It would be impossible to list the details of every culture throughout all time, but there are some behaviors that are universally approved — and others that are universally disliked. Here’s a quick primer.

  • Ask questions. Get to know your date. How did he or she die? What was it like to stand over their own lifeless corpse? Did they see a light at the end of a tunnel, and if so, why didn’t they go towards it? You may find you have a lot in common.
  • Compliment your date. Are they looking ghastly? Particularly eldritch? Be sure to let them know!
  • Don’t kiss on the first date. Don’t kiss ever, in fact, because your faces just pass through each other, and it’s really weird for both parties.
  • Don’t be offended if they suddenly disappear. You should know as well as anyone that existence in this twilight realm can be inconsistent. If your date vanishes, don’t be too quick to judge.

Unlike other parody dating sites which are mainly fronts for real dating services, this is apparently done entirely for the hell of it. (The creator, incidentally, appears to be Randy Tayler, whose site is linked from the bottom of the home page.) It’s nice to see this sort of untrammeled silliness.

(Hat tip to pdq)

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

One Response

  1. xJane Says:

    Shows how much you know. They’re from Betelgeuse, duh.

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