The Art of Darkness

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April 29th, 2014 by Cobwebs

There’s a really great article about you in tomorrow’s paper. Nice photo of you on the front page too. Wish you’d be able to see it.
NightValeRadio

I am rubber and you are glue. We used to be people, but we angered a witch.
donni

If your grave doesn’t say “rest in peace” on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war
dril

The most powerful man in the forest is the lumberjack who decides which trees become guitars and which trees become toilet paper.
markhoppus

Next time your roommate texts you to keep it down respond with “I’m not home right now…” just to give them some perspective.
madamezooble

Accidentally fell asleep smoking an e-cigarette and when I woke up my whole house was on the internet.
JermHimselfish

A big difference between childhood and adulthood is how much time you spend telling ladybugs their house is on fire.
rolldiggity

For fun, you look through the wrong end of the binoculars. Very far away, it seems, there is a man reaching for something with gloved hands.
NightValeRadio

Willy Wonka is the best movie about cheering on child murder
briangaar

I want to defend a penguin in court just so I can say, “Your Honor. My client is clearly not a flight risk.”
trevso_electric

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

One Response

  1. xJane Says:

    I have told exactly zero ladybugs that their house is on fire and now I feel as though I’ve wasted my childhood. Or possibly my adulthood, I’m unclear.

    It is also one of my goals in life to pick up the phone (or call someone) and say, without irony, “Is this line secure?” I will accept a secure Skype chat. Or maybe I should just start answering all my calls that way. That’ll teach the NRA to call me. And possibly teach the NSA to start tracking me…

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