The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

October 14th, 2014 by Cobwebs

When clowns first attacked these shores nobody took it seriously. It’s just one boat, how many could there be, they said.
ceejoyner

“DADDY DADDY there’s a monster under the bed!”
*jumps up*
WHICH BED?
“mine”
OH THANK GOD. You’re on your own kid. Here’s a knife. Good luck.
EndhooS

If I was invisible, I’d find bad mimes and silently beat them to death. Just to give them one final, fantastic performance.
rolldiggity

Terrible night. Dreamt something bit me on the neck. Got up to check, but the mirror wasn’t working.
MooseAllain

A graveyard full of blank gravestones and a can of permanent markers by the gate.
NightValeRadio

Wait — did Venkman just HAPPEN to have 300ccs of Thorazine on him when he went on his date with Dana? What was he planning?
pattonoswalt

Math problem. I have three apples and am traveling towards you at 17mph. It’s not really a problem, more of a warning. Apple time, bitches.
vladchoc

Write the name of someone you hate on your body everyday in permanent marker, so no matter how you die they’ll become a suspect.
markleggett

technically any building is a mausoleum if you die in it and they don’t find your body
shutupmikeginn

12yo: Can we go to a haunted house this year?
Me: What’s wrong with the one we live in?
12yo: WHAT?!
Me: Goodnight, son.
TheMichaelRock

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 2 Comments »

2 Responses

  1. Kathy White Says:

    shutupmikeginn gave me pause. He’s absolutely right. I just need to find a really good hiding place where nobody will smell my rotting corpse in the Royal Ontario Museum. Then die.

  2. xJane Says:

    Haha, Kathy, I had the same thought: “Sounds like a challenge to me!

    That first one, though. Hilarious for extremely white-European values of “clown”.

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