The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

November 25th, 2014 by Cobwebs

I like how the first instruction of “stop drop and roll” is “stop.” Like you might have just kept doing what you were doing, but in flames
joshbupkes

raccoons are just dogs that have learned witchcraft
mallelis

periods help you learn how to get blood off of things which is probably why you hear more stories of men caught with murder
peachvenom

For $5 I will go to the funeral of someone you hate and start a slow clap.
heymonroe

if you’re ever feeling lazy just remember that the ancient greeks believed their gods lived on top of a very climbable hill but no one even bothered to check
partybarackisinthehousetonight

Your hair turns white when you get old for evolutionary reasons. Predators leave you alone if they think you’re a wizard
Bagyants

A banjo is just a guitar that wants to show you a dead body.
longwall26

what if the coins you find randomly at the bottom of drawers and in between couch cushions are actually from spiders trying to pay rent
starfleetinginterest

I’m guessing the ‘element of surprise’ is probably arsenic
Sickayduh

I also want a vampire movie where everyone hasn’t grown weary of LIFE after a measly 300 years, vampires thrilled by toothbrushes & planes
Like Spikes monologue in season 3 but they feel that way all the time and go to museums and love 3D movies
mallelis

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 3 Comments »

3 Responses

  1. Pixel Pixie Says:

    You know, with the amount of drilling we had to do in kindergarten for stop, drop, and roll, I expected to catch on fire far more than I have (only once).

  2. Laurie Brown Says:

    Love the one about spiders paying rent. As many spiders as we have around here, I should be rich. We’ve got a bunch of freeloaders.

  3. xJane Says:

    Aww, rent-paying spiders! <3 Also yes: this is 100% why more men get caught for murder.

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