There’s a Short Story in Here Somewhere
Part of my blog analytics are search terms that bring people to this site, and occasionally I’ll browse through them and wonder about the motivation behind searches for “bed cthulhu” or “facehugger sex toy” (and also wonder whether the same person searched for both terms; they seem somehow squickily related). This one turned up the other day:
accidentally bought christmas wraith
The logical explanation, of course, is that somebody just misspelled “wreath” and wound up here entirely by accident. In this case, however, I am choosing to ignore logic in favor of the much more appealing image of somebody frantically googling for help whilst a holly-trimmed ghoul swooshes around their head.
You can almost hear the letter of complaint being written. “To whom it may concern: What I assumed was a typo on your order form….”
Hee.
Posted in Whatever | 5 Comments »
April 9th, 2015 at 8:36 am
Dear Customer:
I am sorry to inform you that sales of Chritmas Wraiths are final. We are sorry to hear that you are unhappy with your purchase but would suggest that you give your wraith a chance as many of our customers are repeat buyers. Please take the time to read over the accompanying instructions for care and use. Christmas wraiths make wonderful companions for the sick and housebound who enjoy listening to them sing carols in their distinctive high-pitched voice and many find their consumption of stale fruitcake both amusing and practical, ( didn’t you always wonder where all those fruitcakes ended up? )and how could Christmas dinner be complete without your own wraith repeating endlessly all the stories of your childhood mis-adventures as related to it by one of your maiden aunts. We here at Wraithco are very proud of our wraiths and believe that in time you will wonder how you ever enjoyed the holiday season without one. We also offer Thanksgiving Demons, both American and Canadian versions, and we will soon sell Wedding Goblins, for that special day! If you have any further questions please feel free to write us.
Sincerely yours,
Customer Service
Wraithco
Arkham,MA
April 9th, 2015 at 10:46 am
The first thing I thought of was opening the box labelled “Christmas Wreathe, Genuine Blue Spruce” from L.L. Bean and finding a ring wraith inside.
Ho-Ho-Ho Hobbit.
April 10th, 2015 at 7:37 am
That would make quite the awesome addition to a Trick ‘r Treat-like holiday movie!
April 12th, 2015 at 6:01 am
Well, I think we all have our Christmas craft inspiration for this year.
April 14th, 2015 at 12:40 pm
Cookie wins.