Maybe bats leave Hell in a slow and orderly fashion.
— Tierno158

me: all our teeth fall out as children and then they all grow back stronger
alien: okay, i mean…that definitely sounds fake, but…okay.
— cooltrees

When it’s my time, I just want to go in a way that leaves my Wikipedia entry a “Death and Aftermath” section.
— KenJennings

An all-cat Ghostbusters reboot that’s just 90 minutes of them staring intently and occasionally meowing at a blank wall.
— missokistic

Game of Thrones gets a lot less dramatic when you remind yourself Lannisters, Starks, and Greyjoys alike all have to shit in fancy buckets.
— DanaSchwartzzz

In Australia it was called The Passion of the Crikey.
— nattylumpo88

Why would you not name your pet shark Jump?
— happierman

I think that the moment right before you die, you hear your mother calling you inside as the streetlights flicker on
— whorefrost

Actually, I’m leasing a stairway to heaven.
I also craft artisinal bustles, specifically for hedgerows, which have the quality of not alarming passers-by.
— scalzi

i’ve figured out that horror games with grotesque monsters and spooky environments are -9000 scary if you pretend you’re steve irwin on a mission to document the monster(s)
“Lookie there. That’s a six-foot grunt from the basement. A-hm gonna wrassle it.”
— zombiefauns