That Holiday is coming up soon, and Vroman’s Bookstore in Pasadena has the cure:

Valentine’s Day does not have to be the most dreaded holiday of your year anymore. Stop by after 7pm and join us for our Anti-Valentine’s Day party. Make your own voodoo doll, swap stories of dates gone wrong, and enjoy a little food and drink!

This would also be a fun party theme to try at home: Supply your guests with the materials to create their own voodoo doll pincushion and let them decorate as desired.

The photo above is Valentine, the patron saint of “romance-resisting, Hallmark-hating, Cupid-cursing folks everywhere.” He was originally featured on a site called IndieSpotting, which sadly seems to be as dead as chivalry, but fortunately WonderHowTo has a materials list and a copy of the original pattern. There aren’t any instructions, but the photo makes it reasonably clear how it should all go together: Sew buttons on one of the body sections and then add a stitched mouth and a few “scars.” Stitch the two heart pieces in place, then blanket-stitch the two body sections together and stuff with fiberfill. If you’ve never worked with felt before, Lit’l Brown Bird’s Ideas has instructions for basic hand stitching, and you can find lots of tutorials by searching “DIY felt toys” (look at this adorable felt clam!)

Serve conversation heart sugar cookies with messages like “Drop Dead” or “Meh.” Make Stupid Cupid cocktails with extra bitters. Play a party mixtape like I Hate Valentine’s Day or have a movie marathon featuring Fatal Attraction, What Lies Beneath, and My Bloody Valentine.

If you want to be a little more ambitious and throw a dinner party, start with a salad featuring chopped hearts of palm and artichoke hearts. The main course could be jerked chicken or back-stabbing shish kebab (for extra points, shape your favorite meatball recipe into little hearts, bake or fry as usual, then serve on skewers as “shots through the heart.”) Finish up with chocolate skulls (linking more for the shape rather than the recipe, since I’m still not sure how I feel about chocolate-covered bacon).

Send your guests home with tainted love soap or a broken heart pendant. Much more satisfying than pink rosebuds and lace.