The Art of Darkness

The Zombible

June 29th, 2016 by Cobwebs

Zombible LogoThere are things in the wilds of the intarwebs that make you quizzically cock your head to one side like a dog hearing a high-pitched whistle, and this is one of them.

The Zombible (“Matthew, Mark, Luke, and Zombies”) dares to ask the question, “How might the Gospels have been different if Jesus had come to Earth not to save mankind from sin, but from zombies?” And then it rewrites the contents of the four gospels by way of an answer.

It’s subtle; the prose uses the King James style of writing, and if you just skim it you might not notice anything amiss. But if you read a bit more closely, you notice things like this part of the Parable of the Prodigal Son:

7 And when he came to himself, he thought, How many hired servants has my father spare, and I moan with hunger! 8 I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Brains, 9 and call upon his hired servants.

10 And he arose, and shambled to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell, and ran, and kissed him.

11 And the son said unto him, Brains.

The authors state that this is their first work, so they may intend to rewrite the entire New Testament to reflect Jesus’ new mission. It’d be amusing to quote a verse here and there, insisting that they’re legitimate.

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 4 Comments »

4 Responses

  1. Pixel Pixie Says:

    This certainly puts a new spin on Lazarus.

  2. Devries Says:

    I am presently working on writing a novel which Mary Magdalene is a 300 year old vampire.

  3. Devries Says:

    By the way zombies first started saying “Brains…” in the movie “Return Of The Living Dead” which George Romero helped to direct although he is not credited for it, and based it on a rejected script for night Of The Living Dead 2. Romero did not want to be directly connected to this movie out of fear that his planned movie projects of future Living Dead movies might be deemed as other comedies that Return is meant to be. The Return Of the Living Dead movies are all worth watching but the first two are the best of the series.

  4. Devries Says:

    There is a Jesus Vs Zombie hord sequence in the movie “Zombie World” that is very funny

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