The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

October 12th, 2016 by Cobwebs

If you’re not carrying around matchbooks from places you’ve been recently I don’t know why you don’t want your murder to be solved
AndyRichter

tie a yellow ribbon ’round the old oak tree – quick – bind it with the old magics before it wakes and turns to us again
mallelis

I saw a blind guy with a full sleeve tattoo and it made me wonder if he’d always been blind. Because that’s a lot of trust.
mimismartypants

Pro tip: “Foolish mortals” is a gender-neutral form of address.
Black_Isis

Now hang on–How are all these bats *getting into* hell in the first place?
dessadarling

Because telescopes work using mirrors, we will never know if space is full of space vampires. #Showerthoughts
rShowerThoughts

Google should do a thing where if you type in “clown sighting” the first result is always “BEHIND YOU” in blood-red.
pattonoswalt

*birds dress Cinderella for school*
*gets to school, goes into bathroom*
*buncha rabid squirrels gather and re-dress her in goth shit*
_ElvishPresley_

Alright kid I’m gonna kill your whole family and leave you the sole survivor but don’t like, dedicate yourself to revenge about it
[10 years later while hanging off the side of a bridge on fire, about to fall to my doom] man what did I say about this
iscoff

THIS PUB SELLS A BEER CALLED DORIAN GRAY. IT DOES NOT SELL THIS BEER IN PITCHERS. I CANNOT GET A PITCHER OF DORIAN GRAY.
applebamos

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 2 Comments »

2 Responses

  1. Mim Says:

    Heh, I saw the pitcher one on Twitter. That made I larf…

  2. Laurie Brown Says:

    Because telescopes work using mirrors, we will never know if space is full of space vampires.

    Ah, I miss usenet. This would make a great sig line.

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