Seen Online
me: *gets down on one knee*
girlfriend: omg, it’s finally happening
me: *falls over*
girlfriend: the poison is kicking in
— coryrichardson_
Our dog Paddy brought our cat Felix into the house this evening and lovingly placed him in front of the fire. Yes, that was such a sweet thing to do…except for the fact that Felix was buried on Tuesday. Hence I am on the wine.
— ctallcailin
There’s a door that only ever appears when it rains. It’s only in one spot at any given time in the world. You’ll think your mind is playing tricks on you—it isn’t. It’s real. Find it.
Find me.
— thenewfiction
If someone is effortlessly happy in the morning, that’s a demon. You’re talking to a demon.
— DothTheDoth
Hello, children, and welcome to Hogwarts.
Let us begin by asking a dead guy’s talking hat how many of you are evil.
— jelenawoehr
I want a “Big Brother”-style show featuring famous historical mad scientists, just so I can have the scene where Victor Frankenstein looks at the camera and says “I’m not here to make… FRIENDS.”
— scalzi
When there’s an earthquake, coffins become huge underground maracas.
— Showerthoughts
There was a storm brewing in the teacup. A tiny kraken, once desiccated in a magic war, woke among the leaves.
Honey calmed it, though.
— MicroSFF
Give me a supervillain whose origin story begins with them as a cashier until they eventually snap, you cowards.
— giggleboxx3000
Hey gang, Ozymandias here! Thanks as always for looking on my works, and if you liked what you saw don’t forget to click “Despair!”
— BrennanLM
Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »
February 16th, 2018 at 4:15 am
I saw that cat tweet and simultaneously laughed/winced. I guess the poor dog just wanted his best friend back!