The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

May 22nd, 2018 by Cobwebs

Practice self-care like spiders, hang out in dark places & spend all day preparing a murder net.
DothTheDoth

Here’s a little tip for productivity: Keep your hands in your pockets. Something comes up, you need your hands, boom. There they are.
duchessgoldblat

Stephen King: what if there was an *evil* clown
Mary Shelley: what if a corpse came to life
Edgar Allan Poe: oh no a bird!!!
SketchesbyBoze

I’d be fine with a ghost in the house if the object it moved around was the vacuum.
LizHackett

as a child i thought i’d have to deal with the bermuda triangle a lot more than i have in my adult life
boy_from_school

i appreciate that Montresor doesn’t explain shit to the reader about why he’s bricking a dude up behind a wall, just “because fuck this dude, how bout that”
ryandroyd

Always wear your opera gloves when you attend the opera. Also wear your opera goggles. Know the location of the opera safety shower station. Now you are ready to handle that dangerous and corrosive material, the opera
rajandelman

> I propose a hunt, gentlemen. Our quarry: the most ~*dangerous game*~
>> Man?
> What? No, what the fuck, I meant knife-tigers
>> Oh I thought,,
> The fuck, Chauncey ಠ_ಠ
gaileyfrey

Mad respect for the skeletons at the beginning of every major dungeon out there. They know they aren’t boss level bad guys but they still clatter up to you with their swords out like they’re gonna bop you just as hard, true dedication right there
SamuraiCorndog

if, like a dead child ghost in a Scandinavian horror movie, your soul is ever trapped between realms bc your body has not been found, I WILL help find it, but please don’t be scary about it??? just be chill and not pop up suddenly to scream wordlessly at me

write it on my bathroom mirror in steam like “nicole please find my body/solve my murder so I can move over, this is Sigrid Samisdottir, also you look pretty today” and I will absolutely do my level best to free you

I know you are embittered and obsessed and acting out, and the last thing I want is to tone-police a dead ghost child, but honestly I have not the constitution for wordless screaming and cold little dead hands on the back of my neck.

Nicole_Cliffe

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 2 Comments »

2 Responses

  1. Mim (@crinolinerobot) Says:

    That’s a nice way of looking at the expendable skeletons.

    They’re basically the Hufflepuffs of the dungeon monster kingdom.

  2. Devries Says:

    All debts are paid… At the Opera… Tonight

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