The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

August 28th, 2018 by Cobwebs

It’s weird that ppl interpret the moral of The Pied Piper story as “Don’t trust strangers” when really it’s “Always pay freelancers”
meagantrott

A guy kept yelling “young lady!” at me but I didn’t look up because I identify more as the 1,000 year old ghost of a ship captain.
chelsealockw00d

Foxes look like dogs, but they can’t interbreed because they are separate, distinct species. The only real giveaway is that, unlike dogs, foxes have vertical, catlike pupils. I guess what I’m trying to say is… for dogs… elves are real.
CryptoNature

One thing that bothers me about vampire novels is that vampires are essentially just very old people. They should act like it.

I want to see a sexy vampire who looks like they’re in their 20’s go on a rant about Woodrow Wilson while chewing hard candies.

JenAshleyWright

The thief tip-toed toward the dragon’s hoard, reached out, and picked up…
“What!” he exclaimed. “Cookies?”
The dragon looked over its shoulder. “Yes, I’m keeping them warm. Do you want one?”
“But… Why?”
“I was told they are much nicer when they are warm. Try one.”
MicroSFF

Imagine the disappointment of moving to a sleepy, idyllic New England town to start a new life, only to discover it doesn’t harbor any dark secrets.
Manglewood

fucken hate it when I try to eat a butterfly and its wing patterns resemble eyes so I’m warded off
aJasonWeight

PUBLISHER: So it’s got vampires?
BRAM STOKER: Yes.
PUBLISHER: Sex?
BRAM STOKER: Yes.
PUBLISHER: A lunatic asylum?
BRAM STOKER: Yes.
PUBLISHER: It needs something more.
BRAM STOKER: [scratches head] A… a cowboy?
PUBLISHER: Fucking sold.
BullenRoss

Keep others afraid of you by calling Fall “the harvest.”
DothTheDoth

Bruce Wayne didn’t become Batman until he was 30
It doesn’t matter how old you are
There’s still time for a full blown dramatic goth phase
grantpa

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