The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

January 29th, 2019 by Cobwebs

for the last time: it’s only amontillado if it’s from the montilla region of spain. anywhere else and it’s just a fino. i have some in my basement if you want to educate yourself. come look
soy_person

Wild bee: just getting snack
Me: no prob bee

Mason bee: just make house
Me: build a way b

Honey bee:jus sampling the lavenders
Me: you know I got an assortment

Bumble bee: hey *bonk* I jus *bonk* I h
Me: *holds flower still*

Wasp: I’LL SEE U IN HELL
Me: U TELL THEM WHO SENT U

CMGaldre

This season’s color palettes are: the blood of your enemies, the bones of those who stand against you, the wind howling amongst the forgotten tombs of all those who thought you small and weak
hottestsingles

Your eye is a collection of cells that evolved to borrow the radiation from a fiery ball of superheated hydrogen and helium in order to gather information about objects outside your physical reach. Vision is a kind of divination shaped and fueled by a cosmic inferno.
CryptoNature

The moral universe of Charlotte’s Web only makes sense if sentience extends all the way down to spiders and then hits a hard fall-off before flies.

“Eating this pig would be wrong,” Charlotte said, as half a dozen muffled, pleading voices vibrated the web beneath her legs.

ScottWesterfeld

MOVIE IDEA: Jason Voorhees kills a guy, who it turns out is an actual goalie. His team sees Jason, assumes HE’S their team-mate, Jason has a new career. Jason turns out to be really good, so his team starts hiding all the murders he’s committing.
FRIDAY THE 13TH JASON ON ICE
BrianLynch

DM: At bar you see a cloaked, hunched over man. He wears a crown of bone and blade, surrounded by three sentient rings of fire. His arm is made of steel.

Players: who else is in the tavern

DM: uhhhh theres a goblin named Sam Smorkle

Players: I want to talk to Sam Smorkle

beanytuesday

The weatherman just said the roads are treacherous ā€” but just how treacherous are they?
Would they, for example, cruelly blacken your name to your lover in order to curry favour?
eohiggins

*Victorian House Hunters*

HOST: Iā€”

HENRY JAMES: I should like a kitchen whose concept is ā€“ how shall I conceive of it ā€“ not closed, not in some way occluded, but bright, agape, unrestrained as a verdant Tuscan meadow; open, in so many words

HOST: And that’s the full 22 minutes

BullenRoss

Man, think of how confusing it would’ve been if just the Ghostbusters song was released, no movie.
2tonbug

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 3 Comments »

3 Responses

  1. Pixel Pixie Says:

    You know what? I am okay with sentient mosquitoes being slaughtered by Charlotte.

  2. Mim Says:

    I wish to see Jason on Ice. It is my new life goal.

  3. Devriesx Says:

    I hear Montrasour throws some fine wine parties in his basement

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