The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

May 28th, 2019 by Cobwebs

let me be clear, when you roll a 20 to seduce the monster, that is not you being so sexy that the monster becomes into you. that is you being so lucky that the monster’s first boyfriend looked a lot like you and they still have a lot of stuff to work out.
ARDMOOD

breast augmentation just means they make them bigger or smaller, it’s never anything cool like a robot eye or a poison dart launcher installed right in the boob
eedrk

Baba Yaga
Scary Yaga
Sporty Yaga
Ginger Yaga
Posh Yaga
GoFrankGo

Kids putting their teeth under their pillows is the most occultist shit in the world. Yes, child, put the discarded bone under your pillow. if you are lucky the tiny demon will come and make her purchase. Sell your bones for riches, my child, your youth will be spent soon.
DanaSchwartzzz

Supervillains announcing their plans is actually a union thing so they can’t be sued for damages someone else may commit at the same time
e-seal

Spiders are goth sewing machines.
stevevsninjas

son: daddy, do you believe in the Boogie Man?
me: I used to, but not anymore
[from under the bed]: I forgot to pick you up from the airport ONE TIME!
HenpeckedHal

There’s a Wikipedia article of “list of body parts named after people” and it’s great. Awards:
* Most Likely to be a Death Metal Band: Crypts of Lieberk├╝hn
* Most Unfortunate Naming Choice: Sphincter of Oddi
* What Is This, Some Kind Of D&D Thing: Zonule of Zinn
* Hottest Medical Eponym: Apley grind test
* Most Likely To Be What Some Frat Bro Calls His Genitals: Bodansky unit
* Probably Secretly Some Gross Traditional British Food: Clutton’s joints
farbandish

me criticizing fantasy settings in 2007: lmao none of this geography makes sense. and look at these names. this one has four apostrophes in it

me criticizing fantasy settings in 2017: has no one…has no one considered the matter of fishing rights

skeletoncrimes

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 2 Comments »

2 Responses

  1. xJane Says:

    The entire _Song of Ice and Fire_ was written because GRRM was skeletoncrimes except with tax policies instead of fishing rights. Please, gods, no one tell GRRM about the concept of fishing rights, we’ll fuckin’ never get the final books.

  2. Mim Says:

    I resent the comment about gross British food!

    Um, okay, there’s chitterlings, but only old people eat those…

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