Seen Online
Inside of you there are two wolves. That’s nowhere near enough wolves to sustain the population, so we’re starting a reintroduction program. Open wide, please.
— andmaybegayer
one time someone said pavlov probably thought about feeding his dogs every time he heard someone ring a bell and i haven’t been the same since
— HoneyEyedOlive
These 3 ghosts keep trying to teach me the meaning of Christmas in the middle of the night which pisses me off because it’s like, okay this could have been an email 🙄
— annadrezen
Sure, I miss grandma. But she’s up there protecting us.
*looks up to the sky where my grandma is in a jet fighting aliens*
— Shanehasabeard
All right, folks – it’s time for this year’s Secret Satan! You know the drill: pick a sin from the hat on the left and a name from the hat on the right. You have thirty days to tempt your assigned victim to commit your assigned sin – or else!
— prokopetz
could u imagine if ppl talked about catholicism the same way they talked about like… indigenous ppl’s religions….
girl in horror movie holding a bible open: “according to legend, a mob tortured a half-man, half-god, and nailed him to a wooden cross, leaving him to starve to death. But days later, on this very night, they found he had clawed his way out of the grave. Now those who believe lie in wait for him to rise again, To honour him, they have weekly gatherings where they chant and sing, and at the end of it they eat his flesh and blood.”
girl’s friend: “wow.. thats so creepy…”
horror movie jock: “it’s only a myth, don’t worry”
Give her what she really wants this holiday season: equal pay & an ancient hell wolf.
— DothTheDoth
The earliest cephalopods date back to the Cambrian period. They predate trees and land plants. So, the Earth knew tentacles before it knew leaves. Anyway, sweet dreams.
— CryptoNature
how long has it been since James Cameron went to the sea floor and something that claims to be James Cameron came back up
— SamSykesSwears
lovecraft protagonist: “it was squamous…undulating…plastic…a chaotic madness of flesh….rugose and viscous….IMPOSSIBLE TO DESCRIBE”
Buddy you just did. It’s called a blob. You just described it like an asshole would.
— bogleech
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