The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

January 7th, 2020 by Cobwebs

I love how Satanic cults in movies always speak in Latin as if Satan had been around for billions of years, encountered the Romans, and then was like “damn this language is IT y’all hell yeah im writing ALL my contracts with this bad boy”
ckunzelman

ghosts are so funny. they’re people who were just like “actually, fuck dying” and decided to cause problems on purpose for the rest of everyone else’s lives. goals tbh.
generalgrievousdatingsim

Charlie Brown is an adult now. Snoopy is merely a security question.
1followernodad

To kill a French Vampire you need to drive a baguette through its heart. Sounds easy but the process is painstaking.
CatstreyDave

dear santa,
i have been nice all year. please use one of your limited christmas miracles to make vampires real. you will not have to bring me any presents on any subsequent years because i do not plan on remaining on the nice list after you make good on this
garregmach

Of course I have body issues, I can’t explode into a thousand bats.
requiem-on-water

CLERIC: prepare to die, monster. your days of hunting the innocent are over
VAMPIRE: lol no-one “hunts” people anymore
VICTIM (muffled through gag): bite me vladdy
VAMPIRE (cracks riding crop): freely given consent is the cornerstone of safe BDSM. safeword is “garlic”
deathbybadger

My kids asked why we don’t have an Elf on the Shelf, and I used that meme, “You don’t bargain with the fey, and you don’t invite them into the house.” My younger boys laughed, but my 12yo gave me big eyes and said, “Wait. Are you serious?” Now I want to know what he’s let in.
BrigidKemmerer

Sometimes I look at accounts and media that glamorize weddings and I feel like some women only want to get married to wear a pretty dress, and that makes me sad. You can just as easily get to wear pretty dresses by pledging your soul to Black Phillip
MaraWilson

You’d better not shout
You’d better not cry
You’d better watch out
I’m telling you why
The creatures are blind but their hearing is incredibly acute, as is their sense of smell. And they’re hungry. So hungry…
theplaguedoc

lovecraft: so yeah so this monster looks super fucked
reader: oh man how fucked
lovecraft: you know
reader: i truly do not. give me a description???
lovecraft: ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)
ryandroyd

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