Seen Online
Warrior: I swear I will have my revenge for the death of my brother.
Elf: You have my bow.
Dwarf: And my axe.
Necromancer: And your brother.
— catchymemes
Sorry if I’m not your cup of tea. I’m not even my own cup of tea. I’m barely a cup and I don’t like tea. I’m more like a rusty bucket of haunted bog water. Sorry if I’m not your rusty bucket of haunted bog water.
— TragicAllyHere
a vampire giving themselves a pep talk to a mirror that has a crudely drawn picture of themselves that they drew taped to it
— farvann
[ creating bats ]
god: well we already made birds
angel:
god:
angel: what if they were goth
god: omg what IF they were goth tho
— MNateShyamalan
doctor: describe your average night
me: they wear suits of armor
doctor: no I mean at bedtime
me: they probably take it off
— climaxximus
Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed. Our menu options have become moodier, darker. Our menu options have been spending a lot of time in their room lately. We think our menu options might be up to something.
— dorsalstream
I wish there wasn’t so much stigma around death. I’m excited for my eventual passing! I want my skull to be cleaned and engraved with something uplifting and bizarre
Someone finding my weird mutant brain shell in an old tin box under a Midwestern bomb shelter in the year 3008: What the fuck
*turning it over to see the words “everything will be okay” carved into the back*
(Softly) what the fuck
— teaboot
It takes a village. Who knows what it will take next? Be safe.
— NightValeRadio
*demon stands amid your destroyed work space*
Demon: *booming* HOW? How were you able to summon me?!
You (frantically clicking undo) *screaming and crying*: I don’t know. I was just trying to format an outline in Word. You were supposed to be bullet points
— MeredithIreland
lawyer: if you can stay a night in this house, it is yours. but beware there’s a terrible cu-
millennial: holy shit home ownership? im in
ghost: *appearing* prepare to die
millennial: omg even better
— MNateShyamalan
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