The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

January 4th, 2011 by Cobwebs

When adults tell kids “You’ll understand when you’re older,” it means “you’ll understand not to ask.”

Phantom cellphone vibrations are your dead ancestors calling you.

If it looks like a duck & quacks like a duck, it’s a murderer, disguised as a duck.

If you spell it “grammer”, you don’t get to correct it.

Sleep tight! And if you should die before you wake — did you clear your browser history?

I like to imagine that braille on random public signs often says: “How did you know this was here?”

The post office should have a theme song and it should be played by Slayer.

Why is it always hair loss & incontinence? Why can’t playing the oboe or the power to summon eagles be side effects? Looking at you, Pfizer.

People who say “If I disappeared, no one would notice” are wrong. Anyone who actually saw you vanish would be pretty freaked out.

There is porn in Hell, but it’s skeleton porn :(

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

One Response

  1. xJane Says:

    I would buy and overdose on any drug that alleged “the power to summon eagles” as a side effect. Even if it was just annoying eagles shitting all over the lawn and not badass eagles to do my bidding. That’s probably exactly why Pfizer doesn’t use it as a side effect.

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