The Art of Darkness

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January 19th, 2011 by Cobwebs

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. And good luck trying to make it smoke. So, basically: You can’t make horses party

Tampons are so close to being mouse shaped. If one brand would add tiny soft little ears, I’d be brand loyal for life. LIFE.

When she gives me those puppy dog eyes, I just know she’s been mutilating puppies again.

I bet every so often Tony the Tiger skips the corn flakes and rips open a gazelle.

goth clan…it’s like a gang, except when it’s time for them to jump you in, all they do is hold you down & put too much eyeliner on you

Kids, don’t be afraid to follow your dreams. But be very afraid if those dreams manifest physical form & start following you. It happens.

My mind is like a steel trap. I don’t know what that means, but I’m afraid there’s a squirrel trapped inside my brain.

Geese and swans mate for life. And that explains why it’s very common for geese and swans to fly into jet engines.

I wasn’t upset about that black cat crossing my path but mouthing “you’re fucked” as he passed was just rude.

His sign said “will work for food” so my broccoli hired him.

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