The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

November 25th, 2009 by Cobwebs

Monopoly is to the contemporary board gamer as garlic-infused kryptonite snakes are to Super Vampire Indiana Jones.
— Lore Sjoberg

I’m starting a band that only plays polka songs about Nostradamus’s predictions. We’ll call ourselves Accordion to Prophecy.
— tehawesome

Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
— Demetri Martin

The worst thing about being a vampire: people thinking I have fake teeth I won from skee ball, when I’m clearly an oversized sunglasses guy.
— luckyshirt

You know what really gets my goat? Chupacabras.
— Aimee_B_Loved

If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands! I thought we should make this funeral more of a celebration. Who knows the macarena?
— jorshuwah

Liquor is like water that puts out.
— loresjoberg

Canadian Kanye West: IMMA LET YOU FINISH! No. Really. Go on.
— sween

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

I Heart Christopher Walken

November 24th, 2009 by Cobwebs

This kind of thing is why.

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 2 Comments »

This Made Me Giggle Immoderately

November 23rd, 2009 by Cobwebs

Medium Large

If you aren’t already visiting Medium Large regularly, you owe it to yourself to start doing so post-haste.

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

Poetry Sunday

November 22nd, 2009 by Cobwebs

The Old Astronomer To His Pupil
Sarah Williams

Reach me down my Tycho Brahe, I would know him when we meet,
When I share my later science, sitting humbly at his feet;
He may know the law of all things, yet be ignorant of how
We are working to completion, working on from then to now.

Pray remember that I leave you all my theory complete,
Lacking only certain data for your adding, as is meet,
And remember men will scorn it, ’tis original and true,
And the obliquy of newness may fall bitterly on you.

But, my pupil, as my pupil you have learned the worth of scorn,
You have laughed with me at pity, we have joyed to be forlorn,
What for us are all distractions of men’s fellowship and smiles;
What for us the Goddess Pleasure with her meretricious wiles.

You may tell that German College that their honor comes too late,
But they must not waste repentance on the grizzly savant’s fate.
Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.

What, my boy, you are not weeping? You should save your eyes for sight;
You will need them, mine observer, yet for many another night.
I leave none but you, my pupil, unto whom my plans are known.
You “have none but me,” you murmur, and I “leave you quite alone”?

Well then, kiss me, — since my mother left her blessing on my brow,
There has been a something wanting in my nature until now;
I can dimly comprehend it, — that I might have been more kind,
Might have cherished you more wisely, as the one I leave behind.

I “have never failed in kindness”? No, we lived too high for strife,
Calmest coldness was the error which has crept into our life;
But your spirit is untainted, I can dedicate you still
To the service of our science: you will further it? you will!

There are certain calculations I should like to make with you,
To be sure that your deductions will be logical and true;
And remember, “Patience, Patience,” is the watchword of a sage,
Not to-day nor yet to-morrow can complete a perfect age.

I have sown, like Tycho Brahe, that a greater man may reap;
But if none should do my reaping, ’twill disturb me in my sleep
So be careful and be faithful, though, like me, you leave no name;
See, my boy, that nothing turn you to the mere pursuit of fame.

I must say Good-bye, my pupil, for I cannot longer speak;
Draw the curtain back for Venus, ere my vision grows too weak:
It is strange the pearly planet should look red as fiery Mars,
God will mercifully guide me on my way amongst the stars.

Posted in Whatever | Comments Off on Poetry Sunday

Well, This Explains a Lot

November 21st, 2009 by Cobwebs

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 4 Comments »

The Tell-Tale Link Dump

November 20th, 2009 by Cobwebs

Sock Bat – Pattern and tutorial for a cute little bat.

Vampire Pancakes – Similar idea to vampire cupcakes, only these are pancakes that spurt red raspberry filling when you bite into them.

Cthulhu Christmas Ornaments – In his house in R’lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming…of a white Christmas.

Werewolf Head Trophy – Instructables tutorial for making a surprisingly realistic “taxidermy werewolf head.”

Vampire Bite Necklace – Cute crocheted necklace featuring “bleeding puncture wounds.”

Strip Pieced Christmas Stocking – Nice tutorial on strip piecing. You could make a stocking out of Halloween novelty fabric or just use the method for clothing or accessories.

Skeleton Sugar Bowl – This is just adorable.

How to Steam Up Your Old Goth Wardrobe – Article by steampunk/horror author Cherie Priest about moving from goth to steampunk.

Black Plants – Guide to choosing dark plants for the garden.

Child Development Lab – Awesome concept for a nursery.

Posted in Link Dump | Comments Off on The Tell-Tale Link Dump

You Got Your Zombies in My Star Wars!

November 19th, 2009 by Cobwebs

Death TroopersZombies and Star Wars. They’re two great…oh, who am I kidding? This is just ridiculous. (Click the image to enlarge for full zombie Wookiee goodness.)

Death Troopers follows the adventures of a handful of survivors on an Imperial prison barge after everybody else contracts an horrific disease, dies, and comes back to life (boogedy-boogedy)!

Del Rey is doing a little viral marketing with some intercepted messages from the barge and a Twitter feed from one of the Storm Troopers on board (I had no idea that Storm Troopers used Twitter).

They’ve just finished up a contest for a fan-made trailer, and there’s also a tie-in video game planned.

Reviewers over at Amazon are gushing that the book is wonderfully refreshing for the Star Wars franchise, and I’m sure that’s very nice, but I also think that this particular mashup is a pretty solid indicator that zombies have jumped the horribly-decayed-yet-reanimated-by-eldritch-forces shark.

Posted in Needful Things | 2 Comments »

The Wondermark Wedding

November 18th, 2009 by Cobwebs

Promo PosterDavid Malki (who does the wonderful comic Wondermark) and his wife were both working in movie advertising when they first got engaged, so they made a promo poster and movie “trailer” for the wedding. Their wedding cake was action movie-themed, and it is utterly awesome. You can see the cake, trailer, and larger version of the movie poster here.

If you’re looking around for a wedding theme of your own, this would be a really fun thing to do. You could obviously go gothier with a vampire- or slasher-type “movie,” and use the motif for everything from invitations to reception decor. I just love the originality and whimsy of this idea, particularly because there are so many ways to tie it in to various wedding details.

Posted in Terror in the Aisle | 1 Comment »

Haunted Design House

November 17th, 2009 by Cobwebs

Barb Foster ArtBarb Foster is a scrapbooking, stamping, and papercrafting hobbyist with a passion for Halloween. Her “mundane” hobby site Foster Design House wasn’t enough to contain her Halloweeny enthusiasm, so she also started Haunted Design House to handle the overflow. This blog is simply brimming with amazing papercraft ideas, and there are loads of photos and resource links to help you create similar beauties.

She also hosts Macabre Monday, a design challenge with themes like “Lurid Love” and “Perplexing Pigment Play.” The artistry and detailing are just amazing.

If you’re looking for unique ideas for any kind of papercraft–and particularly invitations for parties or weddings–definitely check out Barb’s stuff for inspiration.

Posted in Resources | 1 Comment »

Pram

November 16th, 2009 by Cobwebs

Pram

This was posted with no attribution over at Spooky is as Spooky Does and my Google-Fu is apparently not strong enough to find where it came from, but it is so awesome that I wanted to share it. If I had this pram I’d make my kids ride in it until they were in college.

Update: jessica’s Google-Fu is stronger than mine. She identified Zombie Kingdom as the creator of this piece. Thanks, jessica! (And props to Oldhalloween for recognizing the location as Burning Man.)

Posted in Bittens | 6 Comments »

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