The Art of Darkness

Handjob Cabin

December 7th, 2015 by Cobwebs

This faux-movie trailer follows group of young, carefree people whose idyllic cabin getaway is interrupted by a sexually-frustrated ghost who died during a jerkoff misadventure. She won’t rest until she finishes the job she started…but she can’t. She won’t even use lotion.

Sorta NSFW, doncha know.

(Hat tip to Fiend4Halloween)

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

A Little Song, a Little Dance, a Little Link Dump Down Your Pants

December 4th, 2015 by Cobwebs

Ghosts on the Nog – Five “forgotten” Christmas ghost stories.

Do-It-Yourself Werewolf Kit – This parody of old comic-book ads makes me kind of sad this kit doesn’t really exist.

Nicholas Was… – A short, short story (originally written on a postcard) by Neil Gaiman.

Winter White Velvet Fudge – Anybody who could look at this and think, “Christmas!” instead of “bloodstains!” is no friend of mine.

NMBC Christmas Wrapping – This is less a tutorial and more simply inspiration, but these spookily-wrapped packages are quite striking.

Old Tom Foolery – Amusing stationery, cards, and other printed material.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Cthulhu – Heartwarming.

Living Dead Doll: Krampus – The Mezco Classics had a limited-edition German exclusive of everybody’s favorite Christmas demon.

Dia de los Muertos: The Road to Mictlan – A short documentary on the history, practices, and influences of The Day of the Dead.

Krampus Bread – These loaves are fairly simplified and rustic-looking but I quite like the idea of making your baked goods a little more demonic.

Posted in Link Dump | 3 Comments »

The Gift of Christmas Fear

December 3rd, 2015 by Cobwebs

Sam Haynes has released a collection of music inspired by Christmas horror movies such as Silent Night, Deadly Night and Christmas Evil

For this CD we took old familiar christmas music and mixed it with horror score orchestral music and even some electronic beats. The result is sure to give you the winter chills and would be perfect for a christmas themed horror movie or dark attraction. All of our music is podcast friendly so producers can use it any way they like too.

From now until December 13, the album is free/pay what you want at Bandcamp. Perfect stuff to play in the background whilst trimming the tree.

(via Cult of the Great Pumpkin)

Posted in Resources | 2 Comments »

Secret Santa Can Still Suck It

December 2nd, 2015 by Cobwebs

Wrapping PaperLong-time blog readers will remember the Secret Santa Can Suck It virtual fake gift swap from years past, and darned if we aren’t going to do it again.

It’s fun, easy, and completely free to participate: Between now and December 10, leave a comment on this post or email me saying that you want to be part of the swap. On the 11th I’ll tell you who your assigned “giftee” is, and some time before December 23 you post on your blog about what you would have gotten that person if you had money and, y’know, cared. Send me the link or, if you don’t have a blog, let me know and you can arrange to have your “gift” posted here.

On December 24 I’ll post a list of everybody’s entries so we can all marvel at each other’s good taste. It’s a silly, fun way to take a short break from holiday stress, plus we can all discover new blogs we might not otherwise find. The more people who participate the more entertaining the gift list will be, so put your inner Scrooge in a corner and join in!

(Image from now-defunct business Jingle Balls)

Posted in Whatever | 2 Comments »

Trivia Tuesday

December 1st, 2015 by Cobwebs

  1. The horror anthology series Tales from the Crypt featured a Christmas-themed episode in which a greedy woman makes the mistake of murdering her husband while an escaped mental patient dressed in a Santa Claus costume is on the loose. What was the episode’s title?
    A) “Silent Night, Deadly Night”
    B) “Scary Christmas”
    C) “Slay Bells Ring”
    D) “Christmas Evil”
    E) “And All Through the House”
  2. Jack Skellington sends the trick-or-treating trio Lock, Shock, and Barrel out to bring Santa Claus back to Halloween Town. Which other holiday icon do they accidentally kidnap first?
  3. Even The Addams Family had a Christmas episode. In “Christmas with the Addams Family,” a grouchy neighbor tells Wednesday and Pugsley that there is no Santa Claus, leading this family member to dress up as Santa but accidentally get stuck in the chimney.
    A) Gomez
    B) Cousin Itt
    C) Uncle Fester
    D) Lurch
    E) Grandpa Squint
  4. Who accuses a visiting ghost of being nothing more than an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, or a fragment of an underdone potato?
  5. Befana is a Santa-like character depicted as a broomstick-riding old lady who leaves candy and presents for good children and coal or garlic for naughty ones. Which country does she call home?
    A) Portugal
    B) Spain
    C) Bolivia
    D) Italy
    E) Mexico
  6. When the Grinch is sneaking around Whoville trying to steal Christmas, he is briefly interrupted by this little girl, who is no more than two.
  7. Since 2005, Doctor Who has had a special episode premiering on Christmas every year. The first one, “The Christmas Invasion,” saw the Doctor and Rose battling which scary alien race?
    A) Sycorax
    B) Cybermen
    C) Racnoss
    D) Judoon
    E) Raxacoricofallapatorians
  8. In Norse mythology, the goddess Frigg extracted a promise from everything in the nine worlds to cause no harm to her son Balder. She overlooked a single plant, which, of course, is what Loki used to kill him. What is this plant, which luckily for the sake of this trivia theme happens to have Christmas associations?
  9. The comedy Scrooged involves Bill Murray as a cynical TV programming executive who’s coordinating a live production of A Christmas Carol. Which famous Olympic gymnast portrays Tiny Tim?
    A) Mary Lou Retton
    B) Olga Korbut
    C) Nadia Comaneci
    D) Cathy Rigby
    E) Kerri Strug
  10. In Terry Pratchett’s Hogfather, the Auditors of Reality try to eliminate Discworld’s Santa Claus analogue because he doesn’t fit their view of the universe. Which cat-loving character takes over the Hogfather’s job in his absence?

(Answers below the fold)

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Trivia | 6 Comments »

Bowie’s Creepy New Music Video

November 30th, 2015 by Cobwebs

David Bowie’s new album Blackstar will be released in January and the promotional video of the title track is, dare I say it, a space oddity. It starts with a dead astronaut and ends with a bedazzled skull and there’s a whole lotta weirdness in between.

(via Pitchfork)

Posted in Whatever | 2 Comments »

Oh No! It’s Another Week of Link Dumps: Day 5

November 27th, 2015 by Cobwebs

Regular posting and once-a-week link dumps will return on Monday. But you already knew that.

Ghost Nail Art – Neat manicure idea featuring a 3D ghost face and hands.

Off to Battle – Michael Tapson and his daughter created Halloween costumes based on their “vision of a machine-animal hybrid and the little girl it protects.” The costumes are amazing and the implied backstory is tremendous. You can see an earlier video of the “Beast” costume on Tapson’s channel.

HorrorNaments – Christmas ornaments depicting things like bloody axes and vampire bats. (via Spooky Moon)

Mummy Cat – Sweet children’s book about a cat who was mummified with his queen, waking up once a century to see if she’s come back yet. io9 has some pages.

Angela Kirkpatrick – Profile of a jeweler who makes modern memento mori and other memorial keepsakes.

Gifts with Meaning – Suggestions for charities you can donate to in lieu of giving someone yet another necktie. Mentioned here because one of the options is sponsoring one of those giant rats that are trained to find land mines. Who wouldn’t want the gift of a giant land mine-sniffing rat?

Friday the 13th Wedding – This all-black wedding is gorgeous.

Selections From H.P. Lovecraft’s Brief Tenure as a Whitman’s Sampler Copywriter – “This eerie candy will test the sanity of all but those who possess the strongest of constitutions.” (via Burning Prairie)

Momentous – A PostSecret-like site which allows you to share “that day when everything changed” (for better or for worse) with the world.

Shirley Jackson’s House Hunters – I’d watch it.

Posted in Link Dump | 1 Comment »

Oh No! It’s Another Week of Link Dumps: Day 4

November 26th, 2015 by Cobwebs

Where’s the Jump? – “Our aim is to provide a comprehensive database of all jump scares from major horror and thriller movies along with a short description of the scene and the time in the movie it occurs.”

Is This the Most Beautiful Dragon Penis Yet? – BoingBoing looks at a design by Bad Dragon. NSFW (although honestly if I have to tell you that a link with “dragon penis” in the title might be NSFW, the problem lies with you, not me).

A Day in the Life of a HeroRAT – The giant rats trained to sniff out land mines are impossibly cute.

Coffin Surprise Cookies – These take a bit of effort, but the result is great.

Krampus Candy Canes – I’m not really seeing the connection with Krampus, but they’re scarlet-and-black candy canes so they’re pleasantly gothy anyway. (via Cat)

@sadtopographies – Instagram feed of depressing place names, like Gloomy Lake and Heartache Rd.

Skull Shawl Pattern – Free crochet pattern for a lacy, skull-filled shawl.

Battle Axe Hair-Sticks – This is a 3D printable file rather than an existing product; I’m mentioning it as a potential DIY with regular hair sticks and thin plastic.

Hogwarts Textbooks Skirt – This skirt with appliqued textbooks could be adapted to the book titles of your choice.

Be a Doll – Company which creates customized action figures of real people based on photos you provide.

Posted in Link Dump | 1 Comment »

Oh No! It’s Another Week of Link Dumps: Day 3

November 25th, 2015 by Cobwebs

Steampunk Mask and Hat – Nice tutorial with lots of photos.

The Teen Girls Who Talked to the Dead – Atlas Obscura takes a look at the Fox Sisters.

Silicone Mermaid Tail – This tutorial is fairly complicated and expensive, but if you hanker for a realistic-looking tail and can’t afford to buy one this may be an alternative.

Behind You – Artist Brian Coldrick has a delightfully creepy Tumblr of drawings inspired by horror stories. “Each page is simply a character with someone, or something, behind them and one line of text.”

Blockhead’s Revenge – John Carpenter does Charlie Brown. This is a couple of years old, but apparently has been revived via the recent Charlie Brown movie.

Reelscary – Site which lists movies by scariness, and invites public votes to help with rankings.

The Final Connection – Author John M. Ford once wrote a song about death to the tune of “The Rainbow Connection.”

Dia de los Daleks – This is sort of an unlikely mashup, but I don’t hate it.

Enigma Cafe – This steampunk-themed restaurant has some lovely decorating ideas.

Plush Tardigrades – Great googly moogly you guys; the same company that makes the giant isopod plush has adorable tardigrades, perfect for snorgling. (Hat tip to Bill)

Posted in Link Dump | 3 Comments »

Oh No! It’s Another Week of Link Dumps: Day 2

November 24th, 2015 by Cobwebs

Die-O-Ramas – Artist Abigail Goldman uses model railroad miniatures to create teensy little crime scenes.

Monster Book Cover – Cute fanged book cover that looks pretty easy to reproduce.

Haunted Mansion Earrings – This particular item has sold, but since they’re made with rolled paper beads they’d be reasonably straightforward to DIY.

Vincent Price’s Pumpkin Pie – This isn’t scary, but hey; Vincent Price. There’s still time to make this for (American) Thanksgiving.

Lord of the Rings Party – Lots of great pictures, but worth a click for the Eye of Sauron piƱata alone.

Cartoon Closets – Series of fashion suggestions themed around various cartoon characters. There used to be a whole Tumblr devoted to these, which has apparently since gone to The Land Where Tumblrs Are Eternally Blessed, but lots of them turn up in a Google image search.

Cereal Killers – It’s an old, tired joke, but this series of illustrations (and marketing slogans) by Kate Willaert are pretty cute.

SheenasBellaBows – Hats, bows, and other hair accessories in goth, Lolita, and steampunk styles. I quite like the brain in a jar hat.

Glowing Ghosts – Fairly easy nail art featuring ghosts made with glow-in-the-dark polish.

Anthropodermic Bibliopegy – A look at the practice of binding books in human skin.

Posted in Link Dump | No Comments »

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