The Art of Darkness

Run! It’s Another Week of Link Dumps! Day 5

September 11th, 2015 by Cobwebs

Thank you for your kind indulgence. Regular posting and once-a-week link dumps will return on Monday.

Halloween Craft Roundup – Several cute projects; I particularly like the crocheted spiderweb corbels.

The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows – Suggestions for words which describe hard-to-explain feelings like vellichor (“the strange wistfulness of used bookstores”) and rubatosis (“the unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat”).

Plush Narwhal Tutorial – Narwhals, narwhals, swimming in the ocean, causing a commotion, because they are so awesome. Now that I have that song stuck in your head, go look at the pod of plush narwhals because they are really cute.

Free Antique Illustrations – The British Library has released over a million images from its collection online for free. (Bonus link: BoingBoing mentions the project and includes a glorious assemblage of covers from vintage “adventure” magazines. I think my favorite bit is that the “weasel attack” victim looks startlingly like David Bowie.)

Sticky Page Markers – Sets of stickers for marking book pages that let you create scenes of Godzilla attacking Tokyo, aliens in a Martian landscape, and Nessie undulating in and out of the water.

Skeleton Cupcakes – I’m leery of complex edible cupcake toppers, but these skeletons made from yogurt-covered pretzels and marshmallows look reasonably straightforward. The related bag of bones snacks are even easier.

Victorian Trading Company – Their Halloween section has lots of good-looking Halloween home decor items. (Hat tip to Kathy)

Magical Unicorn Champagne Horn – Plastic drinking “horn” and base.

8 Horrifying Moments From Classic Kids Cartoons – The people who complain about inappropriate content in today’s cartoons never lived through the 30s.

JIMBOBART – Etsy shop with the tagline, “Drawer of things on things” which specializes in weirdly whimsical dishware featuring wolves who guard your snacks and mice who perform for cakes.

Posted in Link Dump | 2 Comments »

Run! It’s Another Week of Link Dumps! Day 4

September 10th, 2015 by Cobwebs

Bad Motherf*ckers – Amazingly detailed action figures from The Shining, A Clockwork Orange, The Exorcist, and more.

Ghostz – Weird little browser-based game which imagines a virtual pet experience about caring for the ghost of a virtual pet that you let die.

5 Creepy Things You Learn Cleaning Up the Scene Of a Murder – This clickbaity headline is actually an interesting glimpse into the business of biohazard cleanup.

A Jolly Nightmare – Mashup illustration of Jack and Sally dressed as Bert and Mary Poppins. (via Tanya)

Marbled Red Vinasse Eggs – This riff on Chinese tea eggs make them look nicely bloody. If you can’t the red wine lees called for in the recipe, some red food coloring could probably be substituted.

A Dirty Job – Novel about a regular guy who discovers that he’s been recruited to gather the souls of the dying. The plot has certainly been done, um, to death, but the author is Christopher Moore and he writes funny stuff.

Infantium Victoria – Lovely goth baby clothes, which are often hard to find. (Hat tip to Beth)

Wee Witch’s Cottage – Cute miniature “witch house” with lots of neat details.

Compendium of Demonology and Magic – NSFW. BoingBoing looks at some of their “favorite monsters” from this 1775 guide to demonology.

Medusa Satchel – Felted Gladstone bag featuring a big ol’ gorgon.

Posted in Link Dump | 2 Comments »

Run! It’s Another Week of Link Dumps! Day 3

September 9th, 2015 by Cobwebs

She Walks in Shadows – New anthology featuring women fighting Lovecraftian nightmares.

Transposed Horror – Iconic horror themes re-recorded in a major key are kind of adorable.

5 Hours of Edgar Allan Poe Stories Read by Vincent Price & Basil Rathbone – Vincent Price and Basil Rathbone could read the phone book and I’d listen to it. (via Shellhawk)

Crypt Hotel Room – A hotel in Maine is offering an uncomfortable-sounding crypt for rent.

On the Next Episode of Ghost Hunters – This ‘toon by The Fantastician is charming. (Hat tip to Pixel Pixie)

Tentacle Tie – Crocheted necktie full of suckery goodness. The same seller also has tentacle scarves.

We Light Your Scrotum on Fire – Apart from being the name of my next band, this Cracked article explores “realities of the morgue.”

Sandman Chess Set – Collectible chess set based on Gaiman’s graphic novels.

All-black Chickens – BoingBoing mentions the “perfect for goth urban homesteaders” (har, har) Indonesian Ayam Cemani chicken, which is completely black and sells for $199 per chick. Somebody in the comments mentions that the same breeder sells Swedish black chickens, which look identical to the untrained eye, for half that. That’s a teensy bit pricey unless you’re an awfully rich goth urban homesteader, but they’re still pretty neat.

Gooey Monster Eye Cookies – This isn’t of interest so much for the recipe as for the presentation. You could make any number of cookie recipes and use the same candy eyeballs for decoration.

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Run! It’s Another Week of Link Dumps! Day 2

September 8th, 2015 by Cobwebs

Defining the Gothic – MetaFilter thread (and link to the article which spawned the discussion) about what “gothic” means. (Hat tip to Bruno)

Deadly Grounds Coffee – Their tagline is “coffee to die for,” insert weary rimshot here.

The Resurrectionist – Unusual novel which begins by providing the biography for the fictional Dr. Spenser Black and continues into Black’s magnum opus, a fantastically-detailed anatomy “textbook” of mythical beasts.

Floccinaucinihilipilification – This artist’s series of Harry Potter cartoons are sublime. Dumbledore gets all the best lines.

Scientists Discover OctoKittens – This is my new name for salticid spiders. (There’s a petition to change their name, unofficially, here.)

C is for Cthulhu – Successful kickstarter for a Lovecraftian alphabet board book, plus a wee plush Cthulhu. (Hat tip to Jes)

Okily Dokily – There’s a Ned Flanders-themed metal band. Because of course there is.

Dancing with Costică – Artist Jane Long digitally manipulates vintage photos into wonderfully surreal dreamscapes.

GalaFilc – Etsy shop full of interesting needle-felted creations, including this awesome octopus coin purse.

Halloweeño Poppers – I’ve seen plenty of “mummies” made from hot dogs, but this is the first jalapeño recipe I’ve encountered. Looks tasty.

Posted in Link Dump | 1 Comment »

Run! It’s Another Week of Link Dumps!

September 7th, 2015 by Cobwebs

Will the link dumps never end?!? No. No they won’t.

A 3-Hour Long Mixtape of Goth History – A deep dive into the various facets of goth music.

A Cephalopod’s Anatomy Class – Weirdly adorable diorama of needle-felted squid learning anatomy.

Cat Cosplay – A Tumblr devoted to becostumed cats. It could as easily be titled, “Scratched and Bitten Cat Owners” because what the hell, cat owners? (Hat tip to Bruno)

Man-Eating Plant – Tutorial for making a chompy-looking giant carnivorous plant using a foam craft pumpkin as the head.

The Men of Twin Peaks – Illustrations of the male characters from the show, drawn in pinup poses.

Chocolaticas – Adorable Mary Jane-style pump with spiderweb detailing. The same company has some other cute designs featuring toe bones and skulls. (via Pixel Pixie)

Maleficent Wreath – Lovely decorative wreath featuring a hand-painted Maleficent mask.

Pull-Apart Cinnamon Sugar Pumpkin Bread – It’s time for pumpkin recipes up the wazooty! This one sounds pretty tasty.

Making Copper Crowns – The Tinkering Studio has a neat post on making copper crowns/tiaras with LEDs as a project to practice soldering.

19 Crimes – Wine brand with interesting labels featuring photos of criminals punished by “transportation” to Australia. The website is irritating as hell.

Posted in Link Dump | 2 Comments »

A Hard Day’s Link Dump

September 4th, 2015 by Cobwebs

Alice in WonderSand – Astonishing sand-art animation of Alice in Wonderland.

Truffle Mummies – Recipe for pumpkin cheesecake truffles decorated to look like teensy mummy heads. These would be great as part of a Halloween party dessert spread.

Anty Gin – Gin infused with red wood ants. Yum!

Tale – Artist Kate Clark sculpts human faces on taxidermy animals. Her artist’s statement says, “They are obviously reconstructed yet they are not monstrous, they are approachable, natural, calm, innocent, dignified.” Uh, no; they are creepy as fuck.

Whiskey Skulls – Stainless steel skull-shaped drink chillers.

Doll Head Night Light – Tutorial for making a night light out of a doll head in case you want to scare the everliving crap out of overnight guests.

Count Chocula Beer – Colorado brewery Black Bottle has a limited-edition beer made with Count Chocula cereal. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. (via Shellhawk)

I Solemnly Swear – Free embroidery pattern and tutorial for a simple Marauder’s Map design.

Old Masters Buzzfeed – “23 Secrets a Man with a Quilted Sleeve Won’t Tell You” and other brilliant clickbaity headlines applied to classical paintings. (Possibly NSFW depending upon your boss’ tolerance for classical boobs.)

Black Cat Earring – Polymer clay earring which looks like a cat is in the process of tunneling through your earlobe. The seller has a wide variety of cat colors and themes.

Posted in Link Dump | 3 Comments »

Dollar-Store Grandfather Clock

September 3rd, 2015 by Cobwebs

Clock FrontHoly wow, you guys. Would you ever guess that this grandfather clock is made from cardboard and glued-on props from the Dollar Store?

theundeadofnight shared this project on Halloween Forum, along with a few photos of the build. There are more detailed instructions on his website, but it’s all done in Flash so I can’t link directly. It’s an almost startlingly easy build: The clock case is made from cardboard boxes, the skulls and bat are cut from a styrofoam tombstone, and the clock face is just a cheap plastic wall clock (attached with velcro so the batteries can be changed).

This would be a great prop for a Halloween party, either simply for decoration or to block the entrance to an off-limits part of the house. If you used a cheap single-door cabinet for the tall part of the case (which probably has an official name but I don’t know it; let’s go with Pendulum Containment Unit), you could use the interior space: Stick a bucket with dry ice inside so ominous fog emerges from the cracks, or put in a motion sensor that screams at anyone nosy enough to open the door. You could even keep it up year-’round and use it for storage.

It’s a great-looking prop that doesn’t require a lot of specialized skills to build, so it’s perfect for the amateur home haunter.


Posted in Doom It Yourself | 1 Comment »

Seen Online

September 2nd, 2015 by Cobwebs

Muchacha is my favorite Spanish word that sounds like cows dancing.
ShesARealGenius

Lighten the mood at funerals by handing a wooden stake to the person next to you and whispering, “He was a vampire. You know what to do.”
WhirledRecord

All of these time capsules I just dug up have bodies in them?
heymonroe

I feel quite sinister when I buy a houseplant. “Welcome to my home. I will kill you. It’s just a matter of when”.
liz_buckley

Water Polo is one shark away from being the most entertaining sport around
dru0887

Bug in iPhone5 – predictive text controlled by the soul of the Chinese worker who committed suicide making it. How very help me I’m in hell.
frankieboyle

Every poodle is fairly positive that it’s Marie Antoinette
DanaSchwartzzz

Cool Curse Idea: Every time your enemy talks, a bunch of jelly beans fall out of his mouth.
rolldiggity

I just spent a lot of time thinking about a Weird Science reboot where Gabourey Sidibe and Rebel Wilson accidentally create Channing Tatum
Sedna_51

falling-in-love-with-fandoms:

highfunctioningdarklordofall:

can’t you imagine it though?

ginny’s going through a questioning phase and her older brothers keep making sex jokes so she writes in her diary “what’s a clitoris?” and tom’s on the other side like “i am a dark lord but i have a duty to this poor girl”

are you trying to insinuate that Voldemort gave Ginny Weasley the sex talk

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 1 Comment »

Trivia Tuesday

September 1st, 2015 by Cobwebs

  1. In this 1988 dark comedy, high-school student Veronica Sawyer is pitted against a dominant clique of girls who all share the same first name.
  2. Sam Raimi has often cast his pal Bruce Campbell in his projects, including this little-known adventure/comedy TV series about an American spy working against Napoleon’s attempts to colonize the South Pacific.
    A) Tales of the Gold Monkey
    B) Jack of All Trades
    C) Tour of Duty
    D) Baker’s Dozen
    E) Code Name: Foxfire
  3. Beetlejuice ends with Lydia dancing in midair to Harry Belafonte’s “Jump in the Line.” According to the song, when Senora dances Calypso, what is the tempo?
  4. The horror comedy John Dies at the End revolves around the use of a drug which gives the user non-linear perception of time and the ability to perceive alternate dimensions. What is the name of this drug?
    A) White Chrism
    B) Totally Awesome Sweet Alabama Liquid Snake
    C) ThreeEye
    D) Blue Nine
    E) Soy Sauce
  5. The “found footage” film What We Do in the Shadows follows the daily trials of a group of vampires sharing a flat in Wellington. One of the writers/directors/stars of the film is Jemaine Clement, who is also half of what musical-comedy duo?
  6. Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon is a “mockumentary” horror/black comedy in which a journalist and her film team document the preparations of a local man who aspires to be the next legendary slasher villain. It features cameos by several veteran horror actors. Which of these actors does NOT make an apperance?
    A) Zelda Rubinstein
    B) Kane Hodder
    C) Scott Wilson
    D) Linda Blair
    E) Robert Englund
  7. In Zombieland, when the band of survivors reach Hollywood they hole up in the mansion of this famous actor, who likes to dress up as a zombie so he can venture out undetected and play golf.
  8. The Dracula spoof Love at First Bite starred George Hamilton as an unusually tan vampire, Susan Saint James as his love interest, and this actor as Renfield.
    A) Arte Johnson
    B) Richard Benjamin
    C) Dick Shawn
    D) Sherman Hemsley
    E) Henry Gibson
  9. Simon Pegg refers to Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, and The World’s End as the “Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy,” due to Cornetto ice cream references in all three films. The Cornetto in Hot Fuzz is blue and The World’s End is green. What color (or “colour,” if you prefer) is the one in Shaun of the Dead?
  10. In Young Frankenstein, the escaped monster encounters a blind hermit (a riff on a scene from the original Bride of Frankenstein) who is delighted to find a friend. What is the hermit’s name?
    A) Marvin
    B) Tim
    C) Harold
    D) Elmer
    E) Donald

(Answers below the fold)

Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Trivia | 3 Comments »

Luna

August 31st, 2015 by Cobwebs

“A young girl witnesses the murder of her family by a mysterious killer. Now she must try to survive before the killer finds her.”

This award-winning horror short film is the product of a successful Kickstarter.

Posted in Whatever | No Comments »

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