The Art of Darkness

Book-a-Minute

May 7th, 2012 by Cobwebs

The fine folks over at RinkWorks know that our time is valuable. They’ve saved us loads of it by taking out all of the filler–there’s a startling amount of it–from works of fiction, allowing each book to be read in a minute or less. It’s surprising how much of the actual flavor of the work they manage to maintain.

The Collected Work of H. P. Lovecraft
Ultra-Condensed by Thomas Deeny

Narrator
I will tell you about something horrific I witnessed.

(Narrator discusses MUNDANE experiences which supposedly lead up to something HORRIFIC.)

Narrator
We’re almost at the horrific bit.

(Narrator talks about more stuff that might be SPOOKY if he’d only GET ON WITH IT.)

Narrator
We’re very close now.

(Narrator draws it out MORE.)

Narrator
This time I swear we’re just about at the horrific thing almost.

(Narrator FINALLY gets to the HORRIFIC thing which is HUGE and POWERFUL and EVIL and LAME.)

THE END

(I think my favorite is still Interview with the Vampire. Now that’s accurate.)

Also check out their Movie-a-Minute section.

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