The Art of Darkness

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February 20th, 2013 by Cobwebs

This entire list is courtesy of Twitter user rolldiggity, who has some splendid ideas about sowing a little chaos.

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1. Fill a calendar with the names and dates of recent local murders. 2. Add several future names. 3. Leave it on the work photocopier.
rolldiggity

Fun Game: Drive up to a park in a windowless van, jump out the back wearing a mask, aggressively pick a handful of flowers, and drive away.
rolldiggity

A good conversation starter is to fill your coat closet with claw-torn shirts and pants labeled “Full moon clothes”.
rolldiggity

1. Dress as puppet. 2. Stand in elevator with strings running from your limbs to ceiling. 3. Whisper, “Help me…” as other passengers enter
rolldiggity

Fun camping game: Stand in a clearing, and wait for people to catch you in the act of throwing a wheelchair and tiny backpack in the river.
rolldiggity

A fun way to rent a car is to say you’ll need 8 child seats and then ask if your car is “easy to crash.”
rolldiggity

1. Sit in stall of crowded bathroom. 2. Shout into phone, “Bring the money or the children are dead!” 3. Exit stall and make small talk.
rolldiggity

Fun Game: 1. Stand in middle of packed elevator. 2. Murmur, “Please… not here…” 3. Begin shaking live mice out of pant legs.
rolldiggity

Seeing how many weeks in a row the grocery store will make me a “Sorry I Killed Your Dog” cake before they call the police.
rolldiggity

Fun Game: 1. Walk into Porta Potty with small dog. 2. Hide dog in your backpack. 3. Walk out empty handed, whistling and twirling leash.
rolldiggity

Waiting to see how long it takes the library to notice all the books I’m returning have “HELP ME” written in blood on the inside cover.
rolldiggity

1. Sit down next to stranger on park bench. 2. Place an envelope beside him. 3. Whisper, “It has to look like an accident.” 4. Walk away.
rolldiggity

I had to buy 20 different Golden Retrievers last month, but it was worth it to make my neighbor think his dog was turning back into a puppy.
rolldiggity

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