don’t insult bookworms by saying we only care about books. we also love huge country houses with hedge mazes and magical capes.
— SketchesbyBoze

My therapist told me “Write letters to the people you hate, and then burn them.” Did that, but now I don’t know what to do with the letters.
— LeftOf_Normal

[on my deathbed]
*with my last breath* if only I had named this bed differently
— DaddyJew

BELLE: There goes the baker with his tray like always
BAKER: well there goes Belle, singing her DAILY MEAN SONG about us
— DanaSchwartzzz

New moon tomorrow night. Plant things that flower in the dark: sweet potatoes, jasmine, curses invoking the forgotten angry dead.
— NeolithicSheep

“What this person did was awesome. I hear they were marked by Fate. Is that so?”
“Definitely!” Fate said. “I mark everyone, just in case.”
— MicroSFF

Prometheus, Arachne, Icarus — The moral of Greek myths is “Fuck you for trying.”
— JenAshleyWright

Someone let me write the movie where a young woman archaeologist in ~1980s faces her greatest challenge: Thesis Advisor Indiana Jones
— maxgladstone

The epilogue of Harry Potter should have just been 30 year old Harry forwarding dozens of cat videos to McGonagall like “is this u”
— HogwartsLogics

why are there so many Spiderman movies but only two movies about children being murdered in a chocolate factory?
— AudreyPorne