The Art of Darkness

Seen Online

February 6th, 2018 by Cobwebs

the Lord is my shepherd, He shaves my entire body to make sweaters
iamspacegirl

Being an old-timey doctor would rule, just drunk as hell like “yeah u got ghosts in your blood, you should do cocaine about it”
eliyudin

It’s canon that Encyclopedia Brown died grappling with Bugs Meany above Reichenbach Falls.
KenJennings

After conducting massive sleep studies we realized dreams were constant based on date.
Every January 27th was a dream about an unrequited love.
April 19th: Death.
June 10th: Flight.
This discovery was one of the final breakthroughs in realizing our universe was a simulation.
thenewfiction

I scream.
You scream.
We all scream.
This is a support group for banshees.
courtenlow

Before a dental appointment tuck a few small feathers inside your cheeks. When the dentist finds them, start purring.
thewritertype

reasons why skeletons are good:
-always smiling
-everyone has one (egalitarian)
-no meat (cruelty free)
-doing their best
unhaunting

SHOULD I EAT THIS APPLE: A GUIDE
in the following circumstances, do NOT eat the apple
– Snake with legs gave it to you
– Lobbed at you during wedding reception; gold
– Bicolored and offered by old woman bearing striking resemblance to ribbon-and-comb sellers
#folklorethursday
Vengeful_Doe

Tonight at work a creepy dude asked me “what’s your secret to staying so slim and perky?” I responded “I’m a thousand year old witch & every morning I bathe in the blood of men I’ve sacrificed” & an old lady nearby laughed; pretty sure this makes us an official coven
isabelzawtun

Dance like nobody’s watching. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Maintain pike intervals like there’s a maniple of legionaries charging who will close to sword range if you fuck up and give them an opening and then you, and all your battle brothers, are meat for the Roman beast.
MykeCole

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