The Art of Darkness

Death is Not an Option (Except it Totally is)

April 23rd, 2012 by Cobwebs

So the first game of Death is Not an Option (given the choice of a pair of people, you have to decide which one you’d sleep with; choosing death instead is not an option) was highly amusing, and amongst the comments was this one by LimeyFish:

Death should totally be an option. You could pick between Death from Discworld or Death from Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey, or between either of the aforementioned Deaths and Death from The Seventh Seal, or any of the aforementioned Deaths and the Death from the Endless pantheon, or between any of the aforementioned Deaths and Cake.

Okay, smartypants. Challenge accepted.

The Pale Dudes in Hoods Matchup
Death - Seventh Seal   Death - Bill and Ted
Death from The Seventh Seal vs. Death from Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey

The Twilight Zone Matchup
Death - One for the Angels   Death - Nothing in the Dark
Death from “One for the Angels” vs. Death from “Nothing in the Dark”

The Reapers on Vacation Matchup
Death - Death Takes a Holiday   Death - Meet Joe Black
Death from Death Takes a Holiday vs. Death from Meet Joe Black

The Animated Matchup
Death - Family Guy   Death - Grim Adventures
Death from Family Guy vs. Death from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy

The TV Psychopomp (Female) Matchup
George - Dead Like Me   Tessa - Supernatural
George from Dead Like Me vs. Tessa from Supernatural

The TV Psychopomp (Male) Matchup
Angel of Death - Charmed   Sam - Reaper
The Angel of Death from Charmed vs. Sam from Reaper

The Overly Efficient Bureaucrat Matchup
Angel - Mr. Jordan   Angel - Heaven Can Wait
Messenger 7013 from Here Comes Mr. Jordan vs. The Escort from Heaven Can Wait

The Entirely Too Many Teeth Matchup
Death - Discworld   Death - Hellboy
Death from Discworld vs. Death from Hellboy

The Goddess Matchup
Death - Endless   Kali
Death from Gaiman’s “Endless” Pantheon vs. Kali

Leave your choices in the comments (feel free to expand on why you made each choice). And remember…anything except Death is not an option.

Posted in Funny Peculiar | 7 Comments »

7 Responses

  1. Maven Says:

    Joe wants to know where Lady Death comes in in all this???

  2. xJane Says:

    Pale Dudes in Hoodies: Definitely Death from Bill & Ted. I haven’t seen the Seventh Seal, but Death from B&T was excellent.
    Twilight Zone: Having never seen either episode, I’m going to go with the one from “One for the Angels” because he’s hawt.
    Reaper Vacation: I fantasized about Death from Meet Joe Black for a while now. Although, I have to admit, Mr. Death from Death Takes a Holiday looks…intriguing.
    Animated: You know, I don’t know. I’m not a huge fan of Death from Family Guy but Death from Grim Adventures looks a little too…angular.
    George. Is. Awesome. That is all. Also, all you readers who haven’t seen Dead Like Me: GO DO IT! I’ll wait.
    Psychopomp Male: I really enjoyed Reaper, so even though he’s a total slacker, I’m going with him. Also, there were so many better supernatural beings to choose from in Charmed.
    Since the Overly Efficient Bureaucrat is totally my type, this is another difficult one. But Messenger 7013 looks absolutely delicious!
    Terry Pratchett’s DEATH is the only death in my multiverse. All others are pretenders.
    I invoke my right to simply refuse to play by the rules and go with Piers Anthony’s Orlene from the Incarnations of Immortality series. She’s a goddess (and Evil’s stepdaughter…only distantly related to Death, but still awesome). Also: go read On a Pale Horse. It’s like the Santa Clause only awesome.

  3. WitchArachne Says:

    Pale Dudes in Hoods: Death from Bill and Ted. He was awesome. Also I haven’t seen The Seventh Seal.

    The Twilight Zone: xjane summed up my thoughts here precisely.

    Reapers on Vacation: Though I’m not usually a Brad Pitt fan I loved the shit out of Meet Joe Black so I’m going with him.

    Animated: I love James Woods so I’m definitely going with Family Guy Death. Also Dawson’s Creek annoyed me too.

    TV (female): I’ve never watched Dead Like Me (it’s not on here in Oz) and I don’t remember Tessa from Supernatural so based solely on looks I’m going with George.

    TV (male): The one from Charmed looks like Jared Padalecki. Ew. So I choose the Reaper guy. Also why the hell don’t I remember any of the charmed bad guys apart from Balthazar? It was at its best when it was monster-of-the-week.

    Overly Efficient Beaurocrat: I’m breaking the rules and going with Death from Drive Angry.

    Entirely Too Many Teeth: Discworld is brilliant. I’m definitely choosing Discworld Death.

    Goddess: I haven’t read Endless but Neil Gaiman’s stuff is always awesome so there’s a good chance I’m going to like her. Also Kali would probably have some weird sexual ritual involving tearing off my skin and wearing it or something like that. Gaiman’s Death has to be safer than that.

    This is brilliant. We definitely have to do this one more often.

  4. Sisifo Says:

    This will be based purely on looks, because I’ve only seen three out of all of them.
    1) Gonna go with Bill and Ted’s. He looks younger and more virile.
    2) Nothing in the Dark. As previously stated, never had a blonde before…
    3) Meet Joe Black. Peanut butter has never looked better. But I’ll admit, the other one has nice bone structure going on.
    4) Option B? No, A. I’d rather not see his face.
    5) Tessa. I think.
    6) Sam. Just because.
    7) I literally flipped a coin for this one. Option A. Because the dime said so.
    8) Hellboy, hells yeah. I wouldn’t mind a blind one. “Turn off the li- Um. Nevermind.”
    9) I picked Kali because I’m curvy myself. My hubs said more hands would creep him out, but he likes her other than that. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you’d think a guy would like a chick with that many hands. Like a threesome. But no cheating or hurt feelings. Maybe the guy would want to be the one with mpre hands. Now I’m putting more thought into this than needed.

  5. Laura Says:

    I choose:
    Death from seventh seal
    Death from One for the Angels
    Death from Meet Joe Black
    Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
    (Strictly for the accent, lol)
    George from Dead Like Me
    The angel of death from Charmed
    Messenger 7013
    Death from Discworld because the other guy look so have severe gum disease. Ew.

    And of course Death of the Endless who I would honestly choose over all the others. Hahah.

  6. cookie Says:

    #1 Seventh Seal….because I enjoy playing chess
    #2 One for the Angels….he was totally cool about getting conned by the salesman The other guy was a real sneaky bastard, not nice at all.
    #3 Death takes a Holiday….How can one trust a blonde bimbob angel of death? you could never be sure that he didn’t screw up his list.
    #4 Family Guy!!!
    #5 Dead Like Me…. Even if she did whine a lot.
    #6 Reaper….He looks like I could get him to play a video game while I snuck off.
    #7 Messenger7013….a gameshow host if ever I saw one,”Guess what’s behind the curtain?!”
    #8Hellboy….death by steampunk demon, that’s class!
    #9Kali….I’ll stick with the classic, she knows what she’s doing.

  7. LimeyFish Says:

    #1: I’ll take death.
    #2: Death.
    #3: I’ll go with Death.
    #4: A hard choice, but I’ll pick Death.
    #5: Death isn’t really my type, but I’m going to go with Death anyway.
    #6: A tossup. Heads = Death.
    #7: Death is kinda goofy-looking, and Death reminds me of Holland Manners, so, Death.
    #8: Death, for his more-human-than-the-humans humanity.
    #9: I’ve had a crush on Death since the 90s. But I wouldn’t want to ruin it. So, Cake.

Leave a Reply