Bat Embryo – Urka responded to the less-than-snorgleable leaf-nosed bat in a recent link dump by pointing me to both this bat embryo and a giant fruit bat, which are indeed worthy of extreme snorgling. (Thanks, Urka!)

Bas-Relief Tattoo – Amazing trompe l’oeil effect.

TitanicVoyage – Twitter account managed by the Maritime Museum of the Atlantic. It’s currently posting status updates “from” the captain, crew, engineering, and other people associated with the ship’s provisioning and launch. On April 15, the anniversary of the disaster, they plan to broadcast the vessel’s original wireless transmissions in real time. Which is either really interesting or sorta morbid; depends on your karma.

Octopus Cake Contest – Cake Central is holding a contest for octopus-themed cakes, cupcakes, cake pops, or cookies. I see nothing in the rules to preclude Cthulhu-themed entries. Come on people, let’s make this happen.

Insanity Tortoise – Meme similar to Insanity Wolf only much slower. I think this one is my favorite.

Eddie Izzard to Star in Munsters Reboot – He will play Grandpa, and will also produce the series. Dammit, I was all set to completely ignore this reboot, but I love me some Eddie Izzard.

The Real Werewives of Vampire County – Amusing-looking collection of soap opera-ish novellas.

Nicoletta Ceccoli – Artist who specializes in pale, languid little girls in oddly surreal settings.

Spooky Bat Teacups – This particular set has been sold, but if no more are forthcoming the design looks reasonably easy to DIY. This tutorial gives some general tips on painting ceramic items.

Tunneling – This isn’t even faintly goth, but makes me nearly laugh up a lung every time I see it so I’m sharing it with you guys.

so today’s story of love and revenge comes from Japan
and I do not know why the Japanese are not
the most pacifistic people on earth
because if I were them I would be too afraid of creating a ghost
to indulge in anything more violent than contract bridge
Japanese ghosts do not mess around with cold drafts and creaking hinges
Japanese ghosts will personally fuck. you. up.
Japanese mythology is like six flags over psychosis
and their ghosts are the ultra twister

but I digress

so there’s this poor samurai named Iemon
and that is poor in the insolvent sense
not the feel-sorry-for-him sense
because he is a rat bastard
as exemplified in the beginning of this story
where he wants to marry a beautiful woman named Oiwa
and her father says he isn’t good enough for his daughter
so instead of trying to prove himself worthy
Iemon just straight up whips out his sword and kills him
which I would say justifies his belief
that he wasn’t good enough for his daughter

and then Iemon adds insult to injury
by promising Oiwa he’ll help find her father’s killer

I’m assuming she was out of the room at the time of the murder
although I guess she could just be supremely unobservant

so Iemon marries Oiwa
and somehow fails to find her father’s killer
and after a while
he decides that looks aren’t everything
making this decision specifically
upon meeting a rich woman named Oume
whose grandfather says could totally marry Iemon
thus sparing himself a nasty case of decapitation
except there’s the pesky problem
of Iemon already being married

so Iemon gallantly decides
to spare Oiwa the stress of divorce
by poisoning her instead
and the poison disfigures her
but does not kill her
so Iemon pretends that he’s happy she’s alive
and then takes her for a walk
and pushes her off a cliff
see that part up above about his general rat bastardry

fast forward to the night before Iemon and Oume’s wedding
where Oiwa pulls a Jacob Marley
and her disfigured face shows up as part of Iemon’s lantern
and she yells “Betrayal!”
and the story says that Iemon brushes this off
which I think you will agree
is a surprising reaction
to a shouting-dead-disfigured-wife lantern

but I digress

and also Iemon is less brush-offy the next day
at his wedding
when he lifts Oume’s veil
and instead there’s the disfigured face of Oiwa
DUN DUN DUN
and she shrieks “Betrayal!” again
and this time Iemon unsheathes his sword
and beheads her
and of course it’s Oume’s head that bounces down the aisle

worst wedding EVER

so he runs out of the hall
and hides in the shack where he lived with Oiwa
which if you have ever seen a horror movie in your life
you will know that this is the worst place
he could possibly hide
narrowly edging out
big dave’s serial killer supply emporium

so there’s a knock on the door
and for some reason Iemon is surprised
when he opens the door and Oiwa is standing there
all disfigured and betrayal-y
so he draws his sword
and beheads the ghost
because that has worked so well thus far
and then sees that he has just killed Oume’s grandfather
oops

so he runs to the cliff where he shoved Oiwa to her doom
has he NEVER seen a horror movie
and hears ghostly laughter
and almost jumps
but then changes his mind
and then Oiwa appears and pushes him off the cliff
which is nicely symmetrical at least

the moral of this story is to not murder people in Japan

As I’ve mentioned many times previously I’m a fan of steampunk; I love the vibe of mass-produced mixed with one-off craftsmanship in the alternate-history technology that’s such a hallmark of the genre. If you’re similarly a fan, here are some links you might enjoy.

Steampunk Couture – Hand-crafted clothing focusing on “Neo-Victorian, Sci-Fi and Shabby Chic fashion.” (They also have a Facebook page)

Ruffled recently featured a gorgeous steampunk wedding with heaps of drool-worthy photos. Offbeat Bride also has a number of steampunk wedding ideas, including clockwork cakes, thematic invitations, and much else.

Girl Genius is a “gaslamp fantasy comic” penned by Phil and Kaja Foglio.

The Steampunk Home is a blog is devoted to home décor that combines “the scientific romanticism of the Victorians with our real present and imagined future.”

Aether Emporium bills itself as a “onestop resource and archive for all things Steampunk.” It’s a splendid resource, and it appears that they’ve recently switched over to a wiki format.

Steampunk Pics is no longer updating, but their archive is still available. There are images of steampunk items (such as “ray guns”) and real vintage photos with a steampunk feel (like Zeppelins floating over cities).

The Steampunk Workshop offers some great project ideas, plus resource links and lots of photographs.

Antipodean Steampunk Adventures is a personal blog: “Follow the adventures of the maduncle as he endeavours to make contact with the rest of the steampunk universe from the outer colonies.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Intrepid reader Linda Frances sent me a link to the Art of Darkness Scavenger Hunt taking place in DC next month, commenting that from the title she’d wondered if I were involved with it. Sadly I am not, but I’m thrilled silly to find out about it.

It turns out that this event is only one of many worldwide. Obscura Day takes place on April 28 and is organized by the people behind the Atlas Obscura. It is, “an international celebration of unusual places….a day of expeditions, back room tours, & exploring hidden wonders in your own hometown.”

Planned events so far range from the scavenger hunt in DC (exploring “strange and ominous” artworks at the National Gallery) to a tour of street art in Berlin; a discussion of rare books in Boston (entitled, wonderfully, “Bound to End Badly”); a look at automata in Forres, Scotland; and a discussion of tissue preservation (called “Pickled People”) at the Museum of Human Disease in Kensington, Australia. Linda Frances herself is organizing the Evening in Jail event in Warrenton, VA.

The site has a search feature and map of events so you can find stuff in your area, and if there’s nothing near you they can help you plan something of your own. If you’ve ever wanted to lead a ghost walk around your city or organize a tour of the local funerary museum, here’s your opportunity. (Incidentally, they’re also asking for photographers to help document all of the events, so if you don’t want to gin up your own event you can volunteer to attend one and take pictures.)

(Thanks, Linda Frances!)

Edited to Add: I swear I was completely sober when I wrote this, yet I managed to misattribute the submitter throughout. I blame the elves. (Sorry, Frances!)

What’s one of the items that every successful supervillain seems to have? No, not a fluffy white cat: A big computer console displaying all kinds of up-to-the-minute data. Designer Joel Friesen has given villains who are just starting out in this illustrious field a cut-rate solution to a shortage of minions.

Henchman’s Helper consolidates dozens of live webcams, continuously-updated weather graphics, a large, ominous-looking infrared satellite image of North America, and a useful Evilometer (helpfully calibrated in metric) to make sure you’re reaching your full evil potential.

The code is free under a Creative Commons license, so you can customize your own console to fit your style of world domination.

Skeleton Scarf – Hand-crocheted scarf featuring a life-size skeleton.

Steampunk Apartment – This is some amazing decorating work. (via xJane)

Rest – Introspective zombie is introspective.

Pet Flytrap – Sells a variety of carnivorous plants (including rare and unusual cultivars), terrarium kits, and supplies. Their sampler pack is a nice way to get started.

Heiroglyphic Typewriter – Translate words into their heiroglyphic equivalent. Nice way to easily design cartouches.

Toy Shining – This storyboard mashup of Toy Story and The Shining is certainly…unique.

Animatronic Cat Ears – Instructions for making moveable cat ears. The same idea could easily be used for horns, antennae, or tentacles.

Mütter Ball – If you’re in the Philadelphia area, this 1920s themed fund-raising event in the Mütter Museum looks like a hoot.

Insects at Home – Dioramas made from real bugs, depicting them doing mundane things. If you’ve ever wanted to own a tarantula hanging laundry or a beetle collecting stamps, you’re in luck. (via The Bloggess)

First Look: Johnny Depp as Tonto – So Johnny Depp is going to be Tonto in an upcoming Lone Ranger movie. You guys, I don’t even know where to begin with this. (Maybe I’ll go with, “what the hell is that thing on his head?”)

Once again Pinterest fails in the attribution department, so I’m not sure who’s responsible for these screaming pigs-in-blankets. They are, however, undeniably awesome and would be an easy hors de’oeuvre for a cocktail party.

Since the sausages don’t appear to be baked into the dough, I’m betting that the cones were made using the same general method as for these crescent-roll “carrots:” Strips of dough are wrapped around a cream horn mold and then baked before filling. In this case, you’d want to add two bumps of dough for eyeballs (just stick them on with a little egg wash) and two small rolls of dough split at the end to make arms or fins or whatever those things are.

Once baked, make your favorite recipe for cocktail franks (the ones in barbecue sauce are tasty) and insert one into each cone. Decorate the eyes with a little dab of powdered sugar thinned with milk, then add a pupil using either food coloring or a dot of melted chocolate (be careful not to use too much if you plan to re-warm before serving, lest it melt and run).

Super-easy, and hilariously dramatic.

Hm; I can’t believe I haven’t mentioned Sillof before now, but my archive turns up nothin’. Time to remedy that.

Sillof is a self-taught sculptor (his day job is a high-school history teacher) who specializes in wonderful kitbashed action figures. His figure collections include a steampunk version of Star Wars, a Gaslight Justice League (including villains), and a set of “Victorian Avengers” (which for some reason have vanished from his site, but the Wayback Machine has descriptions and photos are available here).

In addition to simply being splendidly detailed, the figures all seem somehow plausible: Of course a steampunk Hawkgirl would have clockwork wings, and Black Manta would wear a vintage diving suit. The figures are great inspiration, not only for making models of your own, but also for cosplay ideas. I definitely want to sew a gaslight vampire hunter costume based on Sillof’s Blade.

I’m feeling silly today, so I’m going to dust off a game that Kristabella used to play on her blog a few years back. The rules are simple: Given the choice of each pair of people below, irrelevant of gender, you have to pick which one you’d sleep with. Choosing death instead is not an option.

Let’s begin, shall we?

The Classic Vampire Matchup
Dracula Bela Lugosi	vs.	Dracula Gary Oldman

The Those Masks Have To Come Off Some Time Matchup
Jason Voorhees	vs.	Michael Myers

The Hot TV Moms Matchup
Lily Munster	vs.	Morticia Addams

The Vampire Hunter Matchup
Blade	vs.	Van Helsing

The Tortured Gothic Poet Matchup
Lord Byron	vs.	Edgar Allan Poe

The Creepy Dead Girl Matchup
Kayako from The Grudge	vs.	Sadako from Ringu

The C’mere You Little Zipperneck Matchup
Frankenstein’s Monster	vs.	Herman Munster

The Oh Hell No Matchup
Pennywise	vs.	Pinhead

The Videogame Vixen Matchup
Alice from Resident Evil	vs.	Rayne from Bloodrayne

The How About Both, Can I Choose Both Matchup
Eric Northman	vs.	Alcide Herveaux

Leave your choices in the comments (feel free to expand on why you made each choice). And remember…Death is not an option.

The fabulous Pensive Pumpkin recently sent me a note about Jesus Del Pozo’s Halloween perfume, along with a comment that amounted to, “Where does a perfume with major notes of iris and lime get off being called ‘Halloween’ anything?” A sentiment with which I heartily agree.

The perfume has been around for quite a while–it was introduced in 1997–and I would have sworn that I’d mentioned it in some long-ago link dump, but a look through my archives turns up nothing so it’s entirely possible that I looked at it and thought, “Where does a perfume with major notes of iris and lime get off being called ‘Halloween’ anything?” and declined to post about it. But upon revisiting the link I see that the line has been significantly expanded, so now I’m going to post about it so I can point and laugh.

Additions to the Halloween line now include Halloween Kiss (notes of orange, watermelon, pear, and violet), Halloween Kiss Sexy (lemon, peach, freesia, peony), Halloween Water Lily, Halloween Freesia, Halloween Fatal Rose (which has a great name but whose notes include pear, blood orange, peach elixir, vanilla mousse, and…Coca-Cola), Halloween Tropical (notes of lime, iris, gardenia, lavender, violet, rose, and pink pepper), Halloween Sun (bergamot, lime, cardamom, orange and apple), and Halloween Fever (which in addition to smelling like bergamot, orange and rose, has the most disco label ever).

:::heavy sigh:::

Even more annoyingly, when you google “Halloween perfume” this stuff is pretty much all that turns up for the first several pages of results (with the lone exception of stuff on Etsy tagged that way, some of which is pretty neat).

I suppose that something in this line would be nice to wear if you don’t really care for heavier, darker scents but want to do some Halloween representin’ anyway. I’m just sort of dismayed that THE Halloween perfume smells more like a fruit salad than a vampire’s boudoir.

(Thanks, Pensive Pumpkin!)